Spread


2009  R  1:37  ? Rom  com?  Drama  AShton Kutcher, Sebastian Stan, Margarita Leviva & Anne Hecht

Nikki (Kutcher) is a womanizer of older well off women who he targets to use for anything for some sexual favors. When he meets waitress Heather the player gets played as she knows all his tricks and uses them on him but he doesn’t seem to realize it until he moves ‘her’ car.

At first its a whole lot of the same thing then a bit of a switch bu the characters are one dimensional, uninteresting clods er Sluts (heck technically hookers) That’s only watching for an hour and 8 minutes. Have to fast forward ahead, though I was surprised to see Eric Balfour in a scene.

I’d say skip it its a waste of time and feels longer than the hour and a half it is. It’s like slow torture watching paint dry (actually THAT might be more entertaining!)

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter


2017   R  1:46  Mila Jovovich, Shawn Roberts,Eion Mackin, Ali Larter

 

Alive returns  to Raccoon city to fight against some of Unmbrella’s  new mutant monstrosities to be unleashed on the last of the human population.

“The End…..the end to my story”- Alice

so what this isn’t the actual end of the franchise, just Mila Jovovich? Will you see it without her, or would it just depend on who the new ‘alice’  oops sorry/.. lead is?

Oh crap was that a dragon? or a Turok……(Avatar creatur rip off)?

So the Capital building Looks rotted like a zombie Oh and then they copy off of walking dead with the HEAD-quarium, a bit of Star Trek’s Khan fight on the moving vehicle gods is anything original in this and not a knock-off/Nod to something else?

Erebus?? wait wasn’t that the vampire Bible in blade? Oh maybe they said Cerebus.. the 3 headed dog or something like that from Greek mythology right? So I’m waiting for it… and a mass of doberman’s….dead’mans (or I think they are) come out I was waiting even after this for some 3 headed or more dog! but end up disappointed.

I can tell you one thing I’ve always liked about the series… the monster or 2 of the movie!  They have had some freakish things that i commend the demented mind of whoever the creator(s) were for those monsters. The one in this is kinda creepy and scary at a certain angle otherwise it was laughable to me.

The ‘big scary’ as far as this point goes kinda reminds me of ‘Pumpkinhead’ (now that is a remake I’d like to see just don’t screw with the look of Pumpkinhead)  i just can’t tell ya who’s ‘prettier’

Well look at that Maiden Mother and Crone or as what’s his name (he’s in game of thrones as well)  The trinity of Bitches (yes I do allow that, its in the dictionary) as he put it

I think a question mark should be after the ‘Final Chapter’  but recently saw in entertainment weekly they have I think 6 more movies approved

Glad I didn’t see this in the theater would have been a waste of money.  Basically 2016-2017 reboots have failed it seems.  I will say I think Underworld bloodwars was more interesting to watch than this.

D-

IMDB Page   If you want to rent it… Here’s the amazon link

Underworld: Blood Wars


2017   R 1:31  Kate Beckinsale Theo James Bradley James Charles Dance

 

So the what is this 5th movie in the franchise? Did I miss one? Oh no it was that 3rd movie that was a ‘base tart ized’  prequel.  (sorry I do try to keep things at PG or PG-13 but its fun to be creative in how to ‘curse’ and  yet adhere to my rules and anything I need to follow of wordpress guidelines.

So Slene is now an outcast and hunted by both factions (the lycans by her own vampires including her own clan), Selene and new friend David (Theo James) take on Marius (wasn’t he in one of the previous movies??) the new lycan leader and a scheming traitorus female vampire leader.

Selene has no idea where her daughter is for the child’s protection (and maybe even her own)

Now I’ve heard of white parties, I guess this is the vampire version though I think it needs a touch of red.. maybe the host should wear that. I mean those dank dark halls of the vampire palaces… oh I get the black.. its a ‘bat’ party like the white elephant in the room!  (Just my goofy interpretation….)

There’s some fight they end up in water (I think it was a fountain or a pond inside) that was cool coming up out of it then there’s a the fight on ice! (if only I could remember the when I went to the) ice Capades … this might have actually been better than that!

Love James Theo’s vampire eye color…definitely an improvement but then I do say “Fangs make the man”

The movie was ok but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything important on the line.No heart in the fight even after the revel from Marius (has to do with Scott Speedman’s character)

 

a C or D for some cool parts yet disappointing….

 

(also… Crayola needs to make a ‘vampire Blue eyes’  color!

IMDB page   * Rent or Buy via Amazon

John Wick Chapter 2


2017, R, blu-ray Keanu Reeves, Peter Storemare, John Leguizamo, Ian McShane, Common, Riccardo Scamarcio, Lance Reddick, Ruby Rose

Well the opening scene is certainly high octane action… oh that poor car, making me cry. John Leguizamo plays his ‘machanic’ I’d have to say that’s my favorite non-action part of the movie, though I’m not sure which part is my favorite action or stunt moment. There were so many action scenes they just seemed to have gotten meshed together for me. The movie barely gives you time to breath aside from going from one fighting scene finish… turns corner then there’s another fight. I guess it’s maybe the ones in the catacombs. Speaking of fights…damn! Keanu for  50 something…you do fight scenes better than Common~! Keanu looks like he does better in the fight scenes than Common does!(Faster at least and maybe more confortable)   Let’s see here

 Keanu…born 1964 =53

 Common born 1972 = 44

something just doesn’t add up there for me… Common seems awkward to me in the fight scenes like he’s unsure (or afraid he’ll get his ass kicked for real …wonder if something happened while rehearsing.

Ah the BLood oath…. if you make one and betray it the person you made it to has the right to kill you for not upholding it. (It’s an honor thing) but when it comes to Wick’s profession (what the heck is Wick anyway… assassin or Mercenary? will have to check out the official definition for the 2.) that and with vampires.. you don’t make or break blood oaths with!  with that… you could become a B-B-Q! and man I’ve seen some huge marshmallows that would be great to roast near that…those from the color of them flames… I think You’d need  at least a hundred foot skewer to roast them!

There’s 2 rules…

  1. No blood on Continental grounds (what’s this? no blood at the airlines or do they mean on your own turf?)
  2. Every marker (blood oath) must be honored.

Well the tunes are cool even I don’t mind the club music in this!

They certainly do not let you catch your breath watching this one ….

NO freaking way Subway!! with all those people?  Ok is the Canal  to broadway (or was it Broadstreet)  supposed to be an inside joke sort of like what my demented brain is thinking…Canal of Blood leading to the city of brotherly love?

Well this is certainly a hit and best action movie of 2017 (so far) though I think the storyline may be a bit thin now. But hey for renting it in the summer for something to not really have to think about… it was enjoyable!

Defiantly one for the home library

imdb page

Get it for your library blu-ray, dvd & 4k as well as Amazon video available

John Wick Behind the Scenes

 

Mojave


2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)

 

F

12 Rounds: Lockdown


2015      R      1:30   Dean Ambrose, Daniel Cudmore, Roger Cross, Lochlyn Munro

After discovering evidence that implicates his fellow officers (oh how original!) Shaw  is hunted down by said comrades.

Well for one I now know Dean Ambrose’s real name as far as the cast listing, and I think I’d legally change my name to Dean Ambrose! lol

While the first 2 were a cruel ‘game’ The first one I regretted not seeing in the theater. As when I watched it I was surprised a  ‘WWE studios’ movie or just one with a wrestler in it was actually good for once. Usually they are crap! (and the reason I skipped it in the theater)  The one with Randy Orton I don’t think was out in the theaters however it’s Randy Orton one of my faves! So I had to watch~

Now we have Dean Ambrose which I never saw getting his own movie (I thought CM Punk, would but he was always treated like crap by the organization)  though Roman Reigns or Rollins I thought would have one before the Bulldog would (as I always referred to the 3 of them as the dog Pound. Roman and Rollins being a Rottweiler and a German Shepard or even a doberman)

45  minutes in, this is (thankfully) not the usual 12 Rounds fare.  The protragonist (Ambrose) doesn’t have to save his girlfriend or wife’s life and having to run etc all over in a certain amount of time to make it to the next round of the game. Here, he’s the one with the 12 rounds…literally.  He opens his magazine (the clip of ammo in the gun for those of you that don’t know the lingo)  and there are 12 bullets. So you could say he’s the one controlling the ‘game’

The bit with the tazer in the crime lab gave me a laugh.. it’s the bomb but not in the way that phrase means.

I am not digging Ambrose in the role but he does clean up nicely.

If predictabil;ity were a super power…..this has it!

Aside from the one liners  I give it a D

 

Order them for your library via amazon

12 Rounds  starring John Cena *  Original on imdb

12 Rounds:Reloaded starring Randy Orton * Reloaded on IMDB

12 Rounds: LockDown Dean Ambrose                            Lockdown: on IMDB  *

Don’t Breathe


2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art

 

Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.