Resident Evil: The Final Chapter


2017   R  1:46  Mila Jovovich, Shawn Roberts,Eion Mackin, Ali Larter

 

Alive returns  to Raccoon city to fight against some of Unmbrella’s  new mutant monstrosities to be unleashed on the last of the human population.

“The End…..the end to my story”- Alice

so what this isn’t the actual end of the franchise, just Mila Jovovich? Will you see it without her, or would it just depend on who the new ‘alice’  oops sorry/.. lead is?

Oh crap was that a dragon? or a Turok……(Avatar creatur rip off)?

So the Capital building Looks rotted like a zombie Oh and then they copy off of walking dead with the HEAD-quarium, a bit of Star Trek’s Khan fight on the moving vehicle gods is anything original in this and not a knock-off/Nod to something else?

Erebus?? wait wasn’t that the vampire Bible in blade? Oh maybe they said Cerebus.. the 3 headed dog or something like that from Greek mythology right? So I’m waiting for it… and a mass of doberman’s….dead’mans (or I think they are) come out I was waiting even after this for some 3 headed or more dog! but end up disappointed.

I can tell you one thing I’ve always liked about the series… the monster or 2 of the movie!  They have had some freakish things that i commend the demented mind of whoever the creator(s) were for those monsters. The one in this is kinda creepy and scary at a certain angle otherwise it was laughable to me.

The ‘big scary’ as far as this point goes kinda reminds me of ‘Pumpkinhead’ (now that is a remake I’d like to see just don’t screw with the look of Pumpkinhead)  i just can’t tell ya who’s ‘prettier’

Well look at that Maiden Mother and Crone or as what’s his name (he’s in game of thrones as well)  The trinity of Bitches (yes I do allow that, its in the dictionary) as he put it

I think a question mark should be after the ‘Final Chapter’  but recently saw in entertainment weekly they have I think 6 more movies approved

Glad I didn’t see this in the theater would have been a waste of money.  Basically 2016-2017 reboots have failed it seems.  I will say I think Underworld bloodwars was more interesting to watch than this.

D-

IMDB Page   If you want to rent it… Here’s the amazon link

Extraordinary Tales


2015  Not Rated  1:13   Narrated by  Christopher Lee, Bela Lugosi, Julian Sands, Guillermo del Toro, Cornelia Funke, Stephen Hugues, and Roger Corman

 

On opening it looks like Burtonesque origami! Turns out it’s tales from Edgar Allen Poe (no wonder I ordered it!)

A Crow flies on screen with the statue and as it later says ad I quote

 

“What am I doing reciting poetry with a statue…I must be drunk”

 

my cat is watching the crow oops or being as this is Edgar Allen Poe… I should say Raven on the screen intently!

Each story seems to be animated in a different style which I like, as it would also help with the tone of the story.

 

  • The fall of the house of Usher you certainly cannot mistake the voice of Christopher Lee.
  • The Tell Tale Heart- this one narrated by Dracula’s Bela Lugosi and there’s definitely no mistaking his voice either. This in was done in the noir (or something like) style. Now this is the way I wouldn’t mind a story being told to me. If tupac and Michael jackson can be resurrected via hologram I know there are programs that can work with a voice clip to fix or dub over dialog mistakes in movies (at least now) … any chance we can get this to be done for some stories on audible? THEN I might be willing to pay the extra bit to have a story told to me.
  • The facts int he case of M. valdemar  is narrated byJulian Sands and done in the style of an old comic strip style it reminds me of the colors and such of  the Prince Valient comic strips. And My word one of the characters look like it was inspired by Vincent Price, (or very similar) I would swear it WAS VP if it weren’t an animation.
  • The Pit and the Pendulum    voiced by Guillermo del Toro  is done in a style like some of the video games. Now a lot of the time video game graphics are so good that when I first (or firstfew times) I see it I think its a trailer for a movie and the people are real then at some point during the tailer or after seeing it 3-5 times it clicks its a video game.   Its done in a realistic way yet not.
  • The mask of the Red Death  this looks like it was done with water color or chalk but aside from the art I didn’t care for this one at all. I don’t know if it was the narration or the story itself, or maybe it was the style it was animated in (or the effect of all of it overall)

 

Can kids watch it… that’s for you to decide though after reading the stories, I would definitely (if I was a teacher) have my students watch this.

Alice Through the Looking Glass


2016  PG 1:53   Johnny Depp, ‘Borat’,

Alice returns from a seven year sea voyage and passes through the magical vortex where she journeys  into the past to save the mad hatter . So why is she at sea, let alone captaining a ship? in the 1800s a woman would likely not have been aloud as captain let alone on a ship as they were considered bad luck for ship and crew.

 

I LOVE how colorful and bright her kimono type outfit it. But then again it is mostly purple  with green trim  and the spattering of other color on the shoulders, then the dress green with gold…she looks like a walking Mardi Gras party.

 

Man does Johnny Depp look like Elija Wood and Carrot top had a kid! (SCARRY!)

The White queen apparently has taken hand flair lessons. (Way too much and exaggerated)

In the movie there’s I’ll say ‘robots’ Seconds that turn into minutes which protect time… They remind me of the Mixels from the shorts on Cartoon Network (or is it Boomarang) station.

its fun when it starts but a decline however we find out the history of how the Queen of hearts head got so big.

Miss Periguines Home for peculiar children


2016  PG-13  2:07  Eva Green Samuel L. Jackson        Tim Burton

Jacob Portman arrives to his grandfather’s to find the house looks to be broken into. Frankly it looks more like something broke out as the glass is outside not inside the house.  He finds his gramps  who tells him  to “go to the island”

Curiosity to find out if the photos and stories  from Peregrine’s home were true, he goes to find the island. He comes across the ruins and explores a bit to think he’s seeing things. A shadow darting here or there. It seemed a little wizard of oz like.

samuel L Jackson looks like Don King with that hair  and Floater girl reminds me of Brittany Murphy

There are movie best left for the kids and others the adults can enjoy as well… This one… I guess is a toss up

I can be a big kid, but this was so so for me. I like the different powers sort of like an X-men school before it come about. But at the same time a time loop… really? for me that was just lame.

Get your format now on Amazon

Legion


FX     Wednesdays 10pm   Marvel         Dan Stevens Rachel Keller, Jean Smart, 

Set sometime in the 1960s or 70s  by the looks of the styles.

Dan Stevens plays psychic David Haller who’s as usual in the X-men world his powers are both curse and gift. His father is supposed to be Charles Xavier The X-men’s Professor X!  It’s not a direct adaptation of the Marvel comics but it’s a trippy mesmerizing head trip that will stick with you.

David has some mind blowing explosive psychic powers which are equating into madness so because of his gifts, he is thought to be schizophrenic.

The nature of David’s psyche is that different people occupy his mind and have an influence on him at any given time, and so is institutionalized.  Where he meets and falls for fellow mutant Syd.  Since she does not like to be touched (because of her power) it’s a romance of the mind. David is rescued by therapist Melanie Byrd from the mental hospital and Division 3 (who the hell is division 3?) agents.

While Therapist Byrd insists what he sees is real,  the way it is filmed David nor the viewers are not so sure, aside from the maze of disturbing memories, or are they memories? Could they be future prognostications or a mind made mad from powers he has yet to learn to control?  How can one tell if we are in his reality or in his head? It’s not easy to watch, you need to give it your utmost attention to keep up. I usually put down my kindle to watch this being if you play games etc while watching it, you will likely need to re-watch it again. 

He acts as both a force for light as well as dark at the same time in different ways. This is definitely a different type of ‘superhero’ show, and a break from all those others  DC or Shield wise. (Where do I get that psychotic bedtime story book?)

I would give a Binge worthy but the way the shows plays out, Your head might explode after watching 2-3 episodes in a row if you do!

 

News 8 – May Day


Ok so I thought I had published this already (or at least had it scheduled) but then again I have not been on the computer much this week. Really just on the Kindle and I don’t like working on the blogs on that.

Anyway Happy Late Mothers day to all of you and In case I don’t get another news post out before hand, I hope you have a happy Memorial day weekend

Arrow’s Stephen Amell get’s his wish!! He will be on American Ninja Warrior May 25th 

 

mom-culture-a-mothers-day-celebration-of-our-favorite-moms-from-film-and-television

Did Lego Just Spoil Another Superhero Movie By Releasing Its ‘Justice League’ Toy Set Early?

Marvels Inhuman’s come to life

Dark Tower trailer and POsters

here-s-where-you-ve-seen-the-cast-of-underworld-blood-wars-before

Game of Thrones could get 4 spin-offs 

THE THING board Game

avengers infinity war harry potter hogwarts durham

nikolaj-coster-waldau-christina-hendricks-star-brian-de-palmas-domino

travis-fimmel-named-2016-most-handsome-australian-actor-vikings-season-5-alum-beats-out-chris-hemsworth-hugh-jackman maybe NOW he’ll be in the Sexist Man issue?!!?!?

marvel-mcu-phase-3-movie-tv-crossovers-animation/4254529

Rosanne Revival

Game of Thrones  Who has a Valerian Steel?

Gal Gadot: ‘Of course’ Wonder Woman is a feminist

 

Early On Thursday the 18th the news came out Lead singer of Chris Cornell lead singer of Grunge rock band SoundGarden, Audioslave and was even part of Temple of the Dog   (and that ‘Jesus Christ Pose’ was found dead.

Later on that night I came across an article it said it was an apparent suicide

 

King Arthur : Legend of the Sword


This poster doesn’t look as nice online as it did in the theater’s holder. Unless maybe the one int he theater was without the jacket

2017   PG-13  2 hr 6min  Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana,Astrid Bergès-FrisbeyDjimon Hounsou,Tom Wu,Kingsley Ben-AdirAidan Gillen

Director Guy Ritchie

imdb info 

Planned to be at least a 3 movie series to tell the story of King Arthur, I recently read on the movies IMDB page in the trivia section, that there are a planned 5 more installments.

For years man and madge lived in peace then Mordred  and his giant elephants broke the peace marching on the towns the last being Camelot. Arthur is a young boy who witnesses  his father Uther’s (Eric Bana) sacrifice to save him against his Uncle Mortigan.  The Young Arthur is found in a boat by 3 ladies doing laundry, who raise him in their brothel and growing up learning use his wits and fists  on the streets of London growing up into the face of Charlie Hunnam who is a haunted and cocky man (but then he can back up that cockyness)

Jude Law plays Arthur’s uncle Mortigan (is it just me or are there too many characters in the Arthur legends with Mor- in the name? (Mortigan, Mordredm, Morgana etc.) So Mortigan, oops sorry to me it sounded like an M but nope IMDB has it as VORTIGAN as you will know if you know anything of the Arthur stories is the pain in the butt, to put it nicely and may be turned into an Excalibur kabob!  There’s one part in the movie I’d even call him Hitler! (I think you will know what part I mean when you see it.)

The Black Legs (I think is what Mortigan’s guards are called) have metal masks that remind me of some metal bands mascot, not sure if it’s iron maiden Nope its the Quiet Riot mask! 

The Thump of the war drum brought a chill over me and I’d swear my heart fell into the Rhythm of it.

CAMEO ALERT! but i won’t ruin it I’ll just let ya know it’s during the part where the guys are trying to pill the sword from the stone. I almost didn’t realize who it was.

The humor in it is a bit different, not a laugh out loud hilarious sort, though it may get a few snorts outta ya. Much is wise-assery and shut the F* up who’s on first sounding type. Of course its the dry English humor but  with a little more to it. For instance one line I actually did laugh out loud the actor who plays Goose Fat (aka Little Finger on Game of thrones…) takes a ring off and Arthur says “Leave the ring on Honey-tits”

Oh so that’s a new twist I think (at least to me) on why or how the sword got in the stone. (Well I have one of the books here to read so I wonder if this is creative license or if it was in the some of the legends)

I’m not sure why but at in the trailers I like the “Doesn’t it make the palace burn well” line, I’m not sure why I think its more Hunnam’s voice and/or accent as seeing it in context, it falls lame.

Wait WHY does Excalibur look like it has wood grain, when it’s metal???

The fight scenes were cool though I could have done without the all the digital crap in them. The stop motion etc. But ignoring the ‘artsy’ part of the fights I enjoyed the action. Also aside from the horses are any of the animals actually live not CGI? Speaking of the animals Talk about River Rats and  sewer rats the size of dogs! (I think this would eat a Rottweiler!) I’m the one that usually makes fun of the people who jump on a chair when they see a mouse… These I think you would need a tree!  but you might find the big cat up there cause I think these could make one its bitch!  And then there’s the ::screams like a girl::: snake not the giant one, but the moment with the small one (No amount of money would have gotten me to let them do that! I don’t care if it isn’t poisonous!)

Oh and if the separated at birth picture on my tribute page for him doesn’t prove that… In the movie he uses the sword at one point and I had to shake my head… I didn’t know if I was watching Season 1 of Vikings or the movie. The way he moved with the sword reminded me of Travis Fimmel’s Ragnar did.

I don’t think there was a boring moment and I enjoyed watching the movie, as if I were watching a Marvel movie!!

It’s just a shame that it came out in May! Of course anything other than a Marvel movie being released in May  (or as I’ve been calling it MAyVEL) would likely flop. So with that, You know I’m saying it was a flop at the box office with an estimated  175,000,000 cost (which I think 1/2 to 75% went to the difital FX) and I think in the states only made 40 something mill back. However I always say, the Box office tells you NOTHING! Just what was most popular, not actually good. I don’t know How a movie get scheduled for release but I could assure you if I had any choice.. I would choose any month nothing is released from Marvel or certain Franchises (basically if I know what’s going to be out If it comes out the beginning of the month at most I would choose the last weekend for my movie to come out)

On IMDB it has a rating for it of 7.4 out of 10  so that’;s the equivalent of a B and Entertainment Weekly gave it a C+

in which their review not only helped with how I wanted to describe the word play (as I couldn’t think of how best to capture it) and some of the babble but   mentioning the “Best moments are the smaller ones_ the scheming and snap-crackle -pop wordplay among its gallery of medieval rogues.  Sadly they make it sound really bad when they say it’s the same franchise quicksand the director stepped into with his Sherlock Holmes reboot (the first one was fine the 2nd one on the other hand was garbage to me) because the ‘mental gymnastics were upstaged by the razzle dazzle and with this he’s just sinking deeper.  When Arthur pulls the sword the reluctant hero is born the film sparks to life  with Arthur’s grifting, wisecracking  Cockney cronies with colorful names like Goosefat bill)

Phony looking special effects sequences of marauding elehants and magical eel creatures. They mention it could have been a rollicking blast if not for those which make it a wannabe blockbuster but has too much flash and not enough soul. But as I said ignoring the digital FX (or at least once I noticed there was going to be an annoying amount) I though I don’t remember sitting back in my seat I ‘sat back’ and relaxed and enjoyed the film.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Uther Pendragon IS the stone)