Zoombies


2015   NR Horror 1:30  Ione Butler, Andrew Asper, Lala Nestor,Kim Nielsen,   more cast

A strange virus  quickly spreads through a safari park zoo called Eden which is an endangered wildlife refuge. WE

start in turning all the zoo undead. So now we all know this is a stop the creatures before they escape and cause more dismemberment and zombify everything in their path.

Being a fan of the tv series ZOO  (and trying to get my hand on a copy of the book) I thought I’d watch this as an appetizer before season 3 of the show.

one notable quote is

“It’s a zoo, NOT Jurassic Park”

 

Why hasn’t this been on Syfy or Chiller channel? I would have went nuts as it would have been a treasure to catch on there. Heck for all I know it could have been on there and I missed it.

One memorable part was the daughter in her mother’s office… where she is playing. I don’t want to set up the whole thing I’ll just say I will never look at a Koala the same way again.  actually you may not look at a lot of the animals the same way again. (and why I hope there’s never a zombie cats movie)

 

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Miss Periguines Home for peculiar children


2016  PG-13  2:07  Eva Green Samuel L. Jackson        Tim Burton

Jacob Portman arrives to his grandfather’s to find the house looks to be broken into. Frankly it looks more like something broke out as the glass is outside not inside the house.  He finds his gramps  who tells him  to “go to the island”

Curiosity to find out if the photos and stories  from Peregrine’s home were true, he goes to find the island. He comes across the ruins and explores a bit to think he’s seeing things. A shadow darting here or there. It seemed a little wizard of oz like.

samuel L Jackson looks like Don King with that hair  and Floater girl reminds me of Brittany Murphy

There are movie best left for the kids and others the adults can enjoy as well… This one… I guess is a toss up

I can be a big kid, but this was so so for me. I like the different powers sort of like an X-men school before it come about. But at the same time a time loop… really? for me that was just lame.

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Arrival


2016    PG-13      Jeremy Renner, Amy Adams, Forster Witacker, Ian Donnaly     1:56

Adams plays linguist Louise Banks who is approached by the military for her language skills after the landing of multiple space craft ‘land’  all across the globe. They haven’t actually landed as last I checked, you need to TOUCH the land to do so, but more parked themselves hoovering feet above.

Not sure I should mention what the aliens look like but then that WOULD be a spoiler!

The movie starts out interesting enough, aside from the fact of all the ships ‘landing’ making me think it was going to turn out to be a knock off of Independence day. However the movie declines for me the last half of the movie.

The whole time I thought the governments and military should only be a support system as a small group NOT running the whole damn thing. The aliens speak in what looks like a bunch of Oroborus designs

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Transporter Refueled


2015     PG-13    Blu-ray   1:30 (but feels longer)   ** Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson,

 

If you couldn’t tell by the titled (and perfectly titled too)   it’s a  reboot of the Jason Statham franchise. Now Ed Skrein plays Frank whats his name to carry on the adventures of the private mercenary only known in the underworld as the Transporter.

His father is retiring meanwhile there’s some sort of Prostitution ring that gets an upheaval. One of said ladies of the night wants to get out of the business and hires Frank for a job

I remember when Statham was in the movies… the fighting scenes with him were longer and faster,  that you could barely keep up. In this… they are shorter as well as No bullshit slower paced fights.

During one fight they end up in a very narrow hall of what at first I thought were like safety deposit boxes, but really just a hall of drawers. I see how narrow it is and I’m thinking how the hell are they going to fight, it doesn’t even look kike there’s room to move let alone fight moves. Well for us, it was a funny highlight of the movie (with little else)

Another highlight was a blink and miss it trick with the license plate (aka ‘tags’ as some places call them)

For a reboot I thought this was a bad job. Why not start it as a prequel where Skrein is a younger Frank, but we see how he came to be what he is? Or at least some sort of a back story here or there. Some of the dialog Skrein has I couldn’t catch, but gotta love that car… all cars should be made like that first audi!

Don’t Breathe


2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art

 

Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.

The Taking of Deborah Logan


2014    R    Jill Larson, Anne Ramsay, Michelle Ang,Brett Gentile     70 mins    Horror, Mystery, thriller

So I thought this was just another cliche possession movie. Wrong!

This was a ‘blair witch’ hybrid a single camera filmed docu horror as well as times where it seems like a normally filmed movie. Because of  her fast progressing disease (she has dementia or alzheimer’s) she is either possessed or just remembering some things.

I watched on Stream Dor a free app I got for my kindle, which you can watch movies free. (Though sometimes in another language with subtitles or in English with some foreign subtitles.  I ended up watching a couple of movies (forget which) in Polish, one in which I had already seen before so that was interesting to me.

I don’t find this movie to be worth the time really (unless you are perhaps bored in a hotel room, everything is closed or you are just in the middle of nowhere)  I was jsut so tired I jsut really did not want to read and had nothing else to watch that was short. Now I know why Netflix doesn’t have it!

 

 

The Fun house Massacre


2015,  R    1:30      Horror ,   Robert England, Jere Burns, Clint Howard, E.E. Bell, Candice De Visser   (cast and more)

 

A nod to slasher flasher films Six crazy killers make for six times the fun.

UGH! The reporter looks  like she belongs in a bad vampire movie. Can you say wig from party city?

Doctor Who Joker alert!

The Land of Illusion Haunted park Fun House is designed on serial killers. If I remember right I do believe something happened with one of them on that land.  Curly Q’s death was too cool, actually got a reaction out of me!)

The bee girl has got sting, that is some revenge to all dentists (if you are one, sorry but one of your own ruined it for you when I was a kid..no apologies from me when you tell me to bite down and I do bite you! lol)

Cliche’s and nothing I haven’t seen before  (except Curly’s death) Oh yeah and that goth is more deranged than Harley Quinn.

There’s some bad to awful acting in it but was able to get through it

Well the Stitch Face Killer (the one that looks like a Goth Harley Quinn) just found the actor is born the day after me.

I’d give it a C-

 Want to give it a watch?  Order here with Amazon

 

Get to know the killers

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Definately gives Harley Quinn a run for her padded cell!

This Doll, is the evil Annabell kind. She’s the stich face killer

Between her and the other’s I’m not sure who is the worst.

 

 

 

 

 

The ‘Prophet’ of some cult Manny has Image result for funhouse massacrea surprise link to Dollface.

He has the power of persuasion maybe a bit of a hypnotist even.

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for funhouse massacreIf you thought  you were afraid of clowns before, this psycho will make you think again! Forget a man  he’s more the size of a bull   and the tallest clown I’ve ever seen. He might even be able to stop a train!

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for funhouse massacre mmm Norman Bates’ uncle by chance?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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I don’t like dentists and why?  As a kid the one I had always wanted to yank a tooth or drill it. I’m quite sure some of those teeth did not need either! So this guys comeuppance felt like me paying my first dentist back!

 

 

 

 

 

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Wait isn’t that copyright owned by Hannibal?  I do like the spin on the cannibal thing though making the customers the meal!  Forget your food being spit on if you are a problem, you will be on the menu…   Stew’s (stew of course) ,  Filet de Freddy , Kim croquettes  & for dessert TIMasu (tiramisu)