12 Rounds: Lockdown


2015      R      1:30   Dean Ambrose, Daniel Cudmore, Roger Cross, Lochlyn Munro

After discovering evidence that implicates his fellow officers (oh how original!) Shaw  is hunted down by said comrades.

Well for one I now know Dean Ambrose’s real name as far as the cast listing, and I think I’d legally change my name to Dean Ambrose! lol

While the first 2 were a cruel ‘game’ The first one I regretted not seeing in the theater. As when I watched it I was surprised a  ‘WWE studios’ movie or just one with a wrestler in it was actually good for once. Usually they are crap! (and the reason I skipped it in the theater)  The one with Randy Orton I don’t think was out in the theaters however it’s Randy Orton one of my faves! So I had to watch~

Now we have Dean Ambrose which I never saw getting his own movie (I thought CM Punk, would but he was always treated like crap by the organization)  though Roman Reigns or Rollins I thought would have one before the Bulldog would (as I always referred to the 3 of them as the dog Pound. Roman and Rollins being a Rottweiler and a German Shepard or even a doberman)

45  minutes in, this is (thankfully) not the usual 12 Rounds fare.  The protragonist (Ambrose) doesn’t have to save his girlfriend or wife’s life and having to run etc all over in a certain amount of time to make it to the next round of the game. Here, he’s the one with the 12 rounds…literally.  He opens his magazine (the clip of ammo in the gun for those of you that don’t know the lingo)  and there are 12 bullets. So you could say he’s the one controlling the ‘game’

The bit with the tazer in the crime lab gave me a laugh.. it’s the bomb but not in the way that phrase means.

I am not digging Ambrose in the role but he does clean up nicely.

If predictabil;ity were a super power…..this has it!

Aside from the one liners  I give it a D

 

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12 Rounds  starring John Cena *  Original on imdb

12 Rounds:Reloaded starring Randy Orton * Reloaded on IMDB

12 Rounds: LockDown Dean Ambrose                            Lockdown: on IMDB  *

Transporter Refueled


2015     PG-13    Blu-ray   1:30 (but feels longer)   ** Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson,

 

If you couldn’t tell by the titled (and perfectly titled too)   it’s a  reboot of the Jason Statham franchise. Now Ed Skrein plays Frank whats his name to carry on the adventures of the private mercenary only known in the underworld as the Transporter.

His father is retiring meanwhile there’s some sort of Prostitution ring that gets an upheaval. One of said ladies of the night wants to get out of the business and hires Frank for a job

I remember when Statham was in the movies… the fighting scenes with him were longer and faster,  that you could barely keep up. In this… they are shorter as well as No bullshit slower paced fights.

During one fight they end up in a very narrow hall of what at first I thought were like safety deposit boxes, but really just a hall of drawers. I see how narrow it is and I’m thinking how the hell are they going to fight, it doesn’t even look kike there’s room to move let alone fight moves. Well for us, it was a funny highlight of the movie (with little else)

Another highlight was a blink and miss it trick with the license plate (aka ‘tags’ as some places call them)

For a reboot I thought this was a bad job. Why not start it as a prequel where Skrein is a younger Frank, but we see how he came to be what he is? Or at least some sort of a back story here or there. Some of the dialog Skrein has I couldn’t catch, but gotta love that car… all cars should be made like that first audi!

Kong Skull island


2017   PG-13  Action,aDventure, Fantasy

Tom Hiddleston, John Goodman Samuel L. Jackson Toby Kebbell  Brie Larson John C. Riley Shea Whigham,Corey Hawkins

In the March 10th issue of Entertainment weekly measured up the many incarnations of King Kong strating with the
1933 Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedeck’s original, in which the ape’s size fluctuates depending on the scene. So how does Kong measure up in 2017?  read on to find out!

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King Arthur : Legend of the Sword


This poster doesn’t look as nice online as it did in the theater’s holder. Unless maybe the one int he theater was without the jacket

2017   PG-13  2 hr 6min  Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana,Astrid Bergès-FrisbeyDjimon Hounsou,Tom Wu,Kingsley Ben-AdirAidan Gillen

Director Guy Ritchie

imdb info 

Planned to be at least a 3 movie series to tell the story of King Arthur, I recently read on the movies IMDB page in the trivia section, that there are a planned 5 more installments.

For years man and madge lived in peace then Mordred  and his giant elephants broke the peace marching on the towns the last being Camelot. Arthur is a young boy who witnesses  his father Uther’s (Eric Bana) sacrifice to save him against his Uncle Mortigan.  The Young Arthur is found in a boat by 3 ladies doing laundry, who raise him in their brothel and growing up learning use his wits and fists  on the streets of London growing up into the face of Charlie Hunnam who is a haunted and cocky man (but then he can back up that cockyness)

Jude Law plays Arthur’s uncle Mortigan (is it just me or are there too many characters in the Arthur legends with Mor- in the name? (Mortigan, Mordredm, Morgana etc.) So Mortigan, oops sorry to me it sounded like an M but nope IMDB has it as VORTIGAN as you will know if you know anything of the Arthur stories is the pain in the butt, to put it nicely and may be turned into an Excalibur kabob!  There’s one part in the movie I’d even call him Hitler! (I think you will know what part I mean when you see it.)

The Black Legs (I think is what Mortigan’s guards are called) have metal masks that remind me of some metal bands mascot, not sure if it’s iron maiden Nope its the Quiet Riot mask! 

The Thump of the war drum brought a chill over me and I’d swear my heart fell into the Rhythm of it.

CAMEO ALERT! but i won’t ruin it I’ll just let ya know it’s during the part where the guys are trying to pill the sword from the stone. I almost didn’t realize who it was.

The humor in it is a bit different, not a laugh out loud hilarious sort, though it may get a few snorts outta ya. Much is wise-assery and shut the F* up who’s on first sounding type. Of course its the dry English humor but  with a little more to it. For instance one line I actually did laugh out loud the actor who plays Goose Fat (aka Little Finger on Game of thrones…) takes a ring off and Arthur says “Leave the ring on Honey-tits”

Oh so that’s a new twist I think (at least to me) on why or how the sword got in the stone. (Well I have one of the books here to read so I wonder if this is creative license or if it was in the some of the legends)

I’m not sure why but at in the trailers I like the “Doesn’t it make the palace burn well” line, I’m not sure why I think its more Hunnam’s voice and/or accent as seeing it in context, it falls lame.

Wait WHY does Excalibur look like it has wood grain, when it’s metal???

The fight scenes were cool though I could have done without the all the digital crap in them. The stop motion etc. But ignoring the ‘artsy’ part of the fights I enjoyed the action. Also aside from the horses are any of the animals actually live not CGI? Speaking of the animals Talk about River Rats and  sewer rats the size of dogs! (I think this would eat a Rottweiler!) I’m the one that usually makes fun of the people who jump on a chair when they see a mouse… These I think you would need a tree!  but you might find the big cat up there cause I think these could make one its bitch!  And then there’s the ::screams like a girl::: snake not the giant one, but the moment with the small one (No amount of money would have gotten me to let them do that! I don’t care if it isn’t poisonous!)

Oh and if the separated at birth picture on my tribute page for him doesn’t prove that… In the movie he uses the sword at one point and I had to shake my head… I didn’t know if I was watching Season 1 of Vikings or the movie. The way he moved with the sword reminded me of Travis Fimmel’s Ragnar did.

I don’t think there was a boring moment and I enjoyed watching the movie, as if I were watching a Marvel movie!!

It’s just a shame that it came out in May! Of course anything other than a Marvel movie being released in May  (or as I’ve been calling it MAyVEL) would likely flop. So with that, You know I’m saying it was a flop at the box office with an estimated  175,000,000 cost (which I think 1/2 to 75% went to the difital FX) and I think in the states only made 40 something mill back. However I always say, the Box office tells you NOTHING! Just what was most popular, not actually good. I don’t know How a movie get scheduled for release but I could assure you if I had any choice.. I would choose any month nothing is released from Marvel or certain Franchises (basically if I know what’s going to be out If it comes out the beginning of the month at most I would choose the last weekend for my movie to come out)

On IMDB it has a rating for it of 7.4 out of 10  so that’;s the equivalent of a B and Entertainment Weekly gave it a C+

in which their review not only helped with how I wanted to describe the word play (as I couldn’t think of how best to capture it) and some of the babble but   mentioning the “Best moments are the smaller ones_ the scheming and snap-crackle -pop wordplay among its gallery of medieval rogues.  Sadly they make it sound really bad when they say it’s the same franchise quicksand the director stepped into with his Sherlock Holmes reboot (the first one was fine the 2nd one on the other hand was garbage to me) because the ‘mental gymnastics were upstaged by the razzle dazzle and with this he’s just sinking deeper.  When Arthur pulls the sword the reluctant hero is born the film sparks to life  with Arthur’s grifting, wisecracking  Cockney cronies with colorful names like Goosefat bill)

Phony looking special effects sequences of marauding elehants and magical eel creatures. They mention it could have been a rollicking blast if not for those which make it a wannabe blockbuster but has too much flash and not enough soul. But as I said ignoring the digital FX (or at least once I noticed there was going to be an annoying amount) I though I don’t remember sitting back in my seat I ‘sat back’ and relaxed and enjoyed the film.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Uther Pendragon IS the stone)

 

 

THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN (2016)


2016  PG-13 blu-ray  2:13   Action, Western

Denzel Washington, Chris Pratt  Peter Sarsgaard Ethan Hawke, Cam Gigandet, Luke Grimes, Haley bennett

Directed by Antoine Fuqua and Written by Akura Kurosawa (based on screen play by Shinobu Hashimoto)

 

Remake of the 1960s western of the same name when a bunch of gunslingers band together to protect a small mining town’s residents from the thugs and ruthless gold tycoon.

Slow paced, but thanks to Chris Pratt’s ‘Best Magic Trick’ I’ve ever seen I was cracking up and kept me from turning the movie off. Though I really had it in the ‘Queue’ for dad.

I like the Native’s name ‘Red Harvest’ and the face paint is cool too.

This one I’d say to save for a roadtrip or a night in a hotel (or somewhere they don’t have cable)

The landscapes in this are worth a blu-ray watch, it was like watching moving photography from in an art gallery.

After his magic trick and a few other small comedic bits of Pratt’s I am really thinking that he was hired to move the movie along to feel like the pace wasn’t so slow. There’s some good quips and surprisingly not all are from the funny man.

Just when you start to getting bored, stop it eat or do something else then come back to it. I’d say the pay off is worth the build up which is pretty tense . Now I know I always say I don’t care if a movie is longer than an hour and a half or 2 hours as I’m getting my money’s worth but that also depends on pace… This one for me was 30-45 minutes too long.

B-

 

IMDB

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Great Wall


2017  PG-13 action adventure fantasy  Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Willem  Dafoe, Pedro Pascal

For a movie called the great wall, I found a lack of posters without it in it. It’s mostly just the actors with the text(maybe a small fore-image or background image of the wall.  If there are any (They are from China and those countries, a few I’ve seen but they are more art than an image from the movie.)

So I was sea-sawing on the decision to see this. I got an email from Showcase cinemas that if you had a star pass and bought a ticket for the movie, you get a FREE!!! Popcorn AND! drink!!! made the decision for me! My dad wanted to see it as well so we went and had ‘daddy daughter’ time.  For a sort of last minute decision, we quite enjoyed it.

The movie is about one of the legends of the Great Wall, as well as the army that protects it. a couple of mercenaries in search of black powder (gun powder)  end up attacked by some creature and are able to kill it. They end up helping the colorful army defend the wall against some monstrous creatures.

The army is a color coded menagerie of  warriors. Red archers,  Yellow foot soldiers and my favorite the Blue Crane corps, amde up of all women who ‘fly’. They are like a fighting Cirque du Soleil.

They have been in preparation for the return of some creatures, I forget… were they called tregarts? (or was that something from harry potter?)

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The Legend of Tarzan


2016, PG-13, action adventure Drama

Alexander Skarsgård, Margot Robbie,Christoph Waltz, Samuel L. Jackson

We start in the congo  with some deal for some raw diamonds, and then switch to London. Between scenes  we get flashbacks of Tarzan growing up and his life with the gorillas.

Was cracking up at the guy stuck in the train roof!  and half an hour to 1 1/2 hours into the movie we finally find out why the guy in the cheeta  skin wants Tarzan. What the hell with that cut away, then all of a sudden we are in some port.

Now THAT is what you call an army!!

Was ok but too much green screen CG use. Why not just use a real animal  (trained animal actors) and try to use that motion capture.

With Samuel L Jackson in this and going to be in Kong Skull Island I was getting confused with what I was watching every now and again!

Watching this made me realize how much I miss watching Alex on True Blood… MORE MOVIES PLEASE!!

I could probably watch this a few times again before I get tired of it.

IMDB

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