Monster Trucks


2017  PG  1:44 Live Action  Fantasy Sci-fy 1:44  from Nickelodeon Studios starring  Lucas Till, Rob Lowe and Danny GLover

Somewhere in North Dakota  Tripp’s (Lucas Till)  life changes when he crosses paths with a real-life monster after an oil rig drills into a water well hundreds of feet under the ground. Some creature is released unbeknownst to all but those who think they saw something.

Tripp works at the junk yard and works piecing together  his own wheels. Something is ripping a large hole in the trucks. Now imagine Toothless from How to train your dragon but sort of mixed with an octopus and  with teeth like a lamprey.

I don’t think this was a popular pick and can’t recall what was out at the same time but I know it did bad in the theater. Not sure on the reviews but frankly anyone who didn’t like the movie I think is an uptight prude (or Rob Lowe’s character or employ)

I thought the movie was sort of fresh , cute sweet, funny and FUN which in part means to actually be entertained (its different for each type of movie what being entertained is)  Anyone with a loving pet I think would enjoy this. t one point I thought it was better than a Cars movie plus they stick it to a big unethical Company!

 

B+

Alice Through the Looking Glass


2016  PG 1:53   Johnny Depp, ‘Borat’,

Alice returns from a seven year sea voyage and passes through the magical vortex where she journeys  into the past to save the mad hatter . So why is she at sea, let alone captaining a ship? in the 1800s a woman would likely not have been aloud as captain let alone on a ship as they were considered bad luck for ship and crew.

 

I LOVE how colorful and bright her kimono type outfit it. But then again it is mostly purple  with green trim  and the spattering of other color on the shoulders, then the dress green with gold…she looks like a walking Mardi Gras party.

 

Man does Johnny Depp look like Elija Wood and Carrot top had a kid! (SCARRY!)

The White queen apparently has taken hand flair lessons. (Way too much and exaggerated)

In the movie there’s I’ll say ‘robots’ Seconds that turn into minutes which protect time… They remind me of the Mixels from the shorts on Cartoon Network (or is it Boomarang) station.

its fun when it starts but a decline however we find out the history of how the Queen of hearts head got so big.

10 -10 wins


Tuesdays tweet your #AnimalKingdom #CodyPartyDrinks ideas (or drinking game ideas)

Funny Books for your summer reading pleasure

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Now see… I’m not happy about the new Mummy remake..(reboot whatever) and I come across this   How 2017 s THE Mummy would look in black and white    and it pisses me off even more!!!I hope they do some sort of release where it’s in black and white (or maybe somehow release 2 versions) becasue the black and white one actually looks creepy. The color version just like any other movie. I doubt this will be as good as Dracula Un-told which is supposed to be part of the shared universe as it was from Universal pictures. I just really don’t like the casting for the other monsters. maybe Jarvier Bardem is ok for Frankenstein for his height and stature but the rest really think they should have went with at least 30 somethings.

Bat signal shines in Honor of Adam West TVs Batman

Game of thrones trailer….

Game of Thrones 7 LOT of visual effects    &   character posters 

Vampire couple ties knot

The 5 Killer Shark movies you need to see (this summer )

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does sean bean really die more than other actors?  Considering those in the top 3 of dying in movies… and ‘The BEan’ as I call him is still kicking around… I think it would be safe to say he is likely to beat them out!

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‘American Gods’ EP on what to expect in season 2: ‘Be very worried for Shadow Moon’

NHL has  partnered with Addias here’s what the Devils’ Look like 

The Most Depressing Movies ever made 

Miss Periguines Home for peculiar children


2016  PG-13  2:07  Eva Green Samuel L. Jackson        Tim Burton

Jacob Portman arrives to his grandfather’s to find the house looks to be broken into. Frankly it looks more like something broke out as the glass is outside not inside the house.  He finds his gramps  who tells him  to “go to the island”

Curiosity to find out if the photos and stories  from Peregrine’s home were true, he goes to find the island. He comes across the ruins and explores a bit to think he’s seeing things. A shadow darting here or there. It seemed a little wizard of oz like.

samuel L Jackson looks like Don King with that hair  and Floater girl reminds me of Brittany Murphy

There are movie best left for the kids and others the adults can enjoy as well… This one… I guess is a toss up

I can be a big kid, but this was so so for me. I like the different powers sort of like an X-men school before it come about. But at the same time a time loop… really? for me that was just lame.

Get your format now on Amazon

King Arthur : Legend of the Sword


This poster doesn’t look as nice online as it did in the theater’s holder. Unless maybe the one int he theater was without the jacket

2017   PG-13  2 hr 6min  Charlie Hunnam, Jude Law, Eric Bana,Astrid Bergès-FrisbeyDjimon Hounsou,Tom Wu,Kingsley Ben-AdirAidan Gillen

Director Guy Ritchie

imdb info 

Planned to be at least a 3 movie series to tell the story of King Arthur, I recently read on the movies IMDB page in the trivia section, that there are a planned 5 more installments.

For years man and madge lived in peace then Mordred  and his giant elephants broke the peace marching on the towns the last being Camelot. Arthur is a young boy who witnesses  his father Uther’s (Eric Bana) sacrifice to save him against his Uncle Mortigan.  The Young Arthur is found in a boat by 3 ladies doing laundry, who raise him in their brothel and growing up learning use his wits and fists  on the streets of London growing up into the face of Charlie Hunnam who is a haunted and cocky man (but then he can back up that cockyness)

Jude Law plays Arthur’s uncle Mortigan (is it just me or are there too many characters in the Arthur legends with Mor- in the name? (Mortigan, Mordredm, Morgana etc.) So Mortigan, oops sorry to me it sounded like an M but nope IMDB has it as VORTIGAN as you will know if you know anything of the Arthur stories is the pain in the butt, to put it nicely and may be turned into an Excalibur kabob!  There’s one part in the movie I’d even call him Hitler! (I think you will know what part I mean when you see it.)

The Black Legs (I think is what Mortigan’s guards are called) have metal masks that remind me of some metal bands mascot, not sure if it’s iron maiden Nope its the Quiet Riot mask! 

The Thump of the war drum brought a chill over me and I’d swear my heart fell into the Rhythm of it.

CAMEO ALERT! but i won’t ruin it I’ll just let ya know it’s during the part where the guys are trying to pill the sword from the stone. I almost didn’t realize who it was.

The humor in it is a bit different, not a laugh out loud hilarious sort, though it may get a few snorts outta ya. Much is wise-assery and shut the F* up who’s on first sounding type. Of course its the dry English humor but  with a little more to it. For instance one line I actually did laugh out loud the actor who plays Goose Fat (aka Little Finger on Game of thrones…) takes a ring off and Arthur says “Leave the ring on Honey-tits”

Oh so that’s a new twist I think (at least to me) on why or how the sword got in the stone. (Well I have one of the books here to read so I wonder if this is creative license or if it was in the some of the legends)

I’m not sure why but at in the trailers I like the “Doesn’t it make the palace burn well” line, I’m not sure why I think its more Hunnam’s voice and/or accent as seeing it in context, it falls lame.

Wait WHY does Excalibur look like it has wood grain, when it’s metal???

The fight scenes were cool though I could have done without the all the digital crap in them. The stop motion etc. But ignoring the ‘artsy’ part of the fights I enjoyed the action. Also aside from the horses are any of the animals actually live not CGI? Speaking of the animals Talk about River Rats and  sewer rats the size of dogs! (I think this would eat a Rottweiler!) I’m the one that usually makes fun of the people who jump on a chair when they see a mouse… These I think you would need a tree!  but you might find the big cat up there cause I think these could make one its bitch!  And then there’s the ::screams like a girl::: snake not the giant one, but the moment with the small one (No amount of money would have gotten me to let them do that! I don’t care if it isn’t poisonous!)

Oh and if the separated at birth picture on my tribute page for him doesn’t prove that… In the movie he uses the sword at one point and I had to shake my head… I didn’t know if I was watching Season 1 of Vikings or the movie. The way he moved with the sword reminded me of Travis Fimmel’s Ragnar did.

I don’t think there was a boring moment and I enjoyed watching the movie, as if I were watching a Marvel movie!!

It’s just a shame that it came out in May! Of course anything other than a Marvel movie being released in May  (or as I’ve been calling it MAyVEL) would likely flop. So with that, You know I’m saying it was a flop at the box office with an estimated  175,000,000 cost (which I think 1/2 to 75% went to the difital FX) and I think in the states only made 40 something mill back. However I always say, the Box office tells you NOTHING! Just what was most popular, not actually good. I don’t know How a movie get scheduled for release but I could assure you if I had any choice.. I would choose any month nothing is released from Marvel or certain Franchises (basically if I know what’s going to be out If it comes out the beginning of the month at most I would choose the last weekend for my movie to come out)

On IMDB it has a rating for it of 7.4 out of 10  so that’;s the equivalent of a B and Entertainment Weekly gave it a C+

in which their review not only helped with how I wanted to describe the word play (as I couldn’t think of how best to capture it) and some of the babble but   mentioning the “Best moments are the smaller ones_ the scheming and snap-crackle -pop wordplay among its gallery of medieval rogues.  Sadly they make it sound really bad when they say it’s the same franchise quicksand the director stepped into with his Sherlock Holmes reboot (the first one was fine the 2nd one on the other hand was garbage to me) because the ‘mental gymnastics were upstaged by the razzle dazzle and with this he’s just sinking deeper.  When Arthur pulls the sword the reluctant hero is born the film sparks to life  with Arthur’s grifting, wisecracking  Cockney cronies with colorful names like Goosefat bill)

Phony looking special effects sequences of marauding elehants and magical eel creatures. They mention it could have been a rollicking blast if not for those which make it a wannabe blockbuster but has too much flash and not enough soul. But as I said ignoring the digital FX (or at least once I noticed there was going to be an annoying amount) I though I don’t remember sitting back in my seat I ‘sat back’ and relaxed and enjoyed the film.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Uther Pendragon IS the stone)

 

 

Great Wall


2017  PG-13 action adventure fantasy  Matt Damon, Tian Jing, Willem  Dafoe, Pedro Pascal

For a movie called the great wall, I found a lack of posters without it in it. It’s mostly just the actors with the text(maybe a small fore-image or background image of the wall.  If there are any (They are from China and those countries, a few I’ve seen but they are more art than an image from the movie.)

So I was sea-sawing on the decision to see this. I got an email from Showcase cinemas that if you had a star pass and bought a ticket for the movie, you get a FREE!!! Popcorn AND! drink!!! made the decision for me! My dad wanted to see it as well so we went and had ‘daddy daughter’ time.  For a sort of last minute decision, we quite enjoyed it.

The movie is about one of the legends of the Great Wall, as well as the army that protects it. a couple of mercenaries in search of black powder (gun powder)  end up attacked by some creature and are able to kill it. They end up helping the colorful army defend the wall against some monstrous creatures.

The army is a color coded menagerie of  warriors. Red archers,  Yellow foot soldiers and my favorite the Blue Crane corps, amde up of all women who ‘fly’. They are like a fighting Cirque du Soleil.

They have been in preparation for the return of some creatures, I forget… were they called tregarts? (or was that something from harry potter?)

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Kindred: The Embraced


Complete Vampire Collection Disk #2 (via    1996 4 episodes (4 hours)

C. Thomas Howell, Mark Frankel, Channon Roe,Kelly Rutherford

This was recommended to me by a friend in England. I rented it from Netflix on DVD sadly, they only had disk 2.

When I first herd the title of this I thought of the role playing game, Vampire The Masquerade but so far have not heard one mention to it or anything similar (not that I played but at least knew of it and little about it)

5 secret vampire clans who clash among themselves and mortals battle to rule San Francisco. The leader ‘Prince of the city’ Julian Luna (that sounds more like a werewolf surname than vampire) fights to keep his title.

The first episode was Live Hard, Die Young and Leave a good looking corpse

Ivan Sergei guest stars as some rock star named Zane and my Lost Boys addled mind sees way too many similarities between this episode and the movie. He sort of reminds me of a cross between Lost Boys  Jason Patrick’s character Michael Emerson and Queen of the Damned’s Stuart Townsend. (Only I think Townsend portrayed the rockstar image better) Wait did he just mention something about Jim Morrison? What the hell? Why does he always seem to be mentioned in or is somehow portrayed as a vampire? (Hello Queen of the Damned, The big Poster of Morrison in Lost Boys…Might have to look into that more)

Zane turns some girl against her will which threatens ‘The masquerade’  well there it is! definitely based on the RPG! But there ARE more than 5 clans in the game. There’s some clan name dropping (Toredor,Ventrue, Bruja) And they drop names Morrison, Cobaine (really Kurt Cobaine as a vampire?? I’ll have to ponder that a bit, yeah I guess he had the looks for it)

Humans seeem to know about them, or at least the cop. Channon Roe who plays Cash from the Gangrel clan looks more wolfish than vampire to me. Regardless he’s pegged to be a supernatural character as he already played a dark lighter in the (original) Charmed series (yes word is they are rebooting that too! but will be a prequel set in 1976)

Another few episodes..

The Rise and Fall of Eddie Fiori – The leader of the Bruja tries to take over the Masqurade

Bad Moon Rising – a member of Nosfratu clan steals a human’s baby for a ritual to regain their powers

Cabin in the Woods- The Prince of vampires goes with his reporter girlfriend to some cabin, she ends up finding out about the surpernatural world.

Get the DVD via amazon

Notes:  Asimites are chemeleons or shape shifters    Toredor are the artists

 

You can find more about Vampires here   (and I am trying to work on something for the RPG as well)

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& The Kindred The Embraced Wiki