Alien Covenant

2017    R    2:02  sci-fi  Horror  Blu-ray  Michael Fassbender

Easy and Simply belongs in a trash heap.. and am not wasting any more time with this thing than the next few lines.

The 2nd chapter in the Alien prequel trilogy.

The crew of the ship called Covenant’s paradise turns to hell and discovers that the lone survivor of Prometheus is the synthetic known as David.

The beginning is like watching passengers, let me tell you I had to double check the title cause I was experiencing some serious Deja vu~not to mention was just as humdrum of a bore.

Step on spores and the dust is sent flying into a character’s ear and digs in.

There’s nothing really memorable about it except drawings in a room


The Mummy

2017  PG13  1:50  Tom Cruise  Russel Crowe

Death is but a doorway to new life

We live today 

we shall live again

In many forms, shall we return

-Egyptian Prayer of resurrection


To start when this first was announced I thought oh no they are rebooting the Brendan Fraser/ ‘scorpion king’ series. Then when they announced it was the Universal and had Cruise attached that was a total turn off.


After Luke Evans etc did such a great job with Dracula Untold  WHY OH WHY would you ruin Universal Studios’ classics like this?!  Dear Boris Karloff is rolling over in his grave

First off Tom Cruise…ALL wrong for anything in the movie or the extended Universal reboot. Russell Crowe as Jekyll & Hyde, I thought was a fitting and would work. For me he did but I wish there was a little more of him in the movie.

The movie should have had another 30 something – early 40s and not someone that really needs to stay away from action movies now. Tom Cruise has lost a few steps and is wrong for them.

As for THE MUMMY itself, she didn’t even look like one. As soon as I saw the preview of the movie, I knew it would fail.

The movie starts in England 1127 where they entomb the Mummy (I forget her name but it doesn’t matter).

There are crusade knights in a burial chamber that reminds me of a chamber of bullets in as if a giant revolver.

A part I think was supposed to be humorous when we first see cruise falls flat on its face for the whole sequence.

For some reason, this gave me a chuckle. (I’m guessing it was the delivery that helped it)

If an air strike hits, don’t be on top of buildings

In this Dr. Henry Jekyll is a collector of ‘Supernatural Artifacts”  and runs Prodigium.  They should have made a Jekyll &  Hyde movie first besides Fiver Finger Death Punch has a cool song with that title that would fit quite nicely in a soundtrack for the movie!  Plus J & H doesn’t get as much ‘love’ as the other Classic Universal Monsters do.

There’s no spooky tone, or eerieness to this it is definitely NOT worthy of the Universal brand.

If Jekyll turns to Eddie Hyde why not make his hair all crazy looking at least to show the change, at least personality wise?  Instead of just how it was done. It didn’t look like much of a difference.


Skip this and just watch the original one with Boris or watch Dracula Untold. So glad I didn’t pay to see this in the theater



2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)



Don’t Breathe

2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art


Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.

Kill Your Friends

2016   Not Rated  Nicolas Holt  1:43


Netflix’s description

“Without a pop act to keep him afloat, A&R agent Steven Stelfox is slowly sinking beneath the waves of the recording industry. Refusing to drown , Seven adopts a radical and deadly approach to getting ahead in the music business.

So I waited for an hour before writing anything as really there was nothing to write about.. it’s not worth the time unless you are secluded in a cabin with snow half way up your door!

There Is a bit of that dark Brit humor here and there but mainly it’s a bore, even when Nicolas Holt breaks the fourth wall to talk to the watcher as he explains the music industry. (nothing I didn’t know already)

They sign what would make money but not based on actual talent!!!



X-men Apocalypse

The usual suspects Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicolas Holt, Even Peters,James McAvoy, Sophie Turner with McGuyver’s Lucas Till (was he in the past ones?)

I don’t have much to say about this, other than we find out how  Charles Xavier becomes bald.

The plotline stinks, why does it seem centered on Mistique to me? Wasn’t crazy about Angel though glad he now has the sharpened wings. And s a few days later I can’t remember much (nothing that matters) about it.

It’s set in the 80s and starts in Ancient Egypt during a transfiguration Ritual (why not just call Professor McGonagal?)

Some ‘Gods’ or shall I say priests with the masks of their gods as well as soldiers around are protecting the body.

One of these soldiers who is supposed to protect what is going on is in on a plan against the ritual, and upon attacking gets folded up into a ball.

Later Charles Xavier’s school is burning down and Quicksilver goes to save everyone, one being a french bulldog which love the face like it’s in a car and its jsut not letting go of that slice of pizza!

Amusing the movie makes fun of it self!! saying the 3rd one always sucks and honestly.. I’m VERY glad I didn’t waste my money on it seeing it in the theater! I waited for cable!  Definitely a poor (below poor?) outing.

and EssexCorp. What is the Essex corp? I never heard of that before or don’t remember .

Honestly I’m not crazy about this set of X-men films… I like the originals better, but then I do need to rewatch those for a Class Cuts installment

Nine Lives

2016   PG   Blu-ray  1:27  Comedy  Jennifer Gardner, Robbie Amell, Kevin Spacey     (IMDB)

Mr. Brand is a worlaholic CEO of the ‘Fire Brand’ on the night of his daughter’s birthday (party) he buys a cat for her and ends up falling off a roof with the cat and he ends up in the cat’s body somehow, while his body is in a coma.

What is with all the cats by three? It’s like 3 of the same cat or 3 cats together…

Oh my the blue of that cat’s eyes! And The part where it’s drunk had my family cracking up!

I can see why Entertainment Gave this a worse of 2016 movies; The pacing is too slow, not sure about the characters in general, there’s so many ways this could have been at least a good if not great movie. The only good parts is when the cat is on screen.


“Oh look Satan’s over for dinner’ (in reference to his ex-wife.)

Oh yeah and then at one point the mother mentions (I forget if it was Amell’s character or the daughter) had asked “Why is daddy a vampire”

There’s a part where the cat Mr. Fuzzy pants  (gosh if I were a cat and someone cave me that name I’d rip your face up’ I jsut hate those stupid cliche pet names.) looks like he’s i a donkey Kong game  When he’s walking up a wall or something.


Those security guards deserved that!!! (You know what I mean when you see it) and there’s Lil Bub!!!

I won’t kill the movie completely, but it deserves at least a D for some of the jokes. They could have made it better if it were an hour long special!


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