Uncharted


See the source image2009     1:30    Horror    * No one special

Off the Gulf of Mexico, a documentary crew’s private plane crashes on a remote island. The crew is there to try to film some rare animal.  The crew captures the carnage as some of the crew goes missing, it is found months later.

Paradise my ass, not so unless you are a rock diver.

I saw one of the creatures, it looked like someone dressed in animal skins and BAD ones too.

This was such a shit show of bad acting and a bore of a storyline for Tuesdays Trash, that this is all that was worth mentioning about it.

Basically, its just people dressed as animals that are cannibals NOT animals.

 

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HellRaiser:Judgement


Hell Raiser JudgementSee the source image

2018 NR 1:21  Blu Ray

for some reason, Pinhead isn’t that white-grey color he should be. David and Sean Carter are detective brothers on the case of some serial killer. Detective Christine Edgerton comes in on the case to help and keep an eye on them. When Sean gets a lead he goes off on his own to the address left on a criminal’s laptop. Sean falls into the rabbit hole.

I hope this is the last one, because the last few that have been made are just not the quality of a good bad movie. I mean at least make it a bit campy if it’s going to be this bad. I have no idea how these are still being made (maybe to just humor those of us that are a fan of the franchise) but you are RUINING the franchise making them. They lack the elements from the earlier movies (at least the first 3)

The twist was not surprising, nor who.

F

I,Tonya


2017         R        2hr       stars Margot Robbie and Sebastian Stan

  Drama, comedy, based on true events

 

This biopic of Figure skater Tonya Harding and the 1994 Winter Olympics assault on Nancy Kerrigan.

I think this was during my senior year of high school or maybe the first winter I had infinite snow days.

This is supposed to be ‘based on irony-free wildly contradicting  totally true interviews with Tonya Harding, Jeff Gillooly (what a silly name that man has)  Continue reading

Alien Covenant


2017    R    2:02  sci-fi  Horror  Blu-ray  Michael Fassbender

Easy and Simply belongs in a trash heap.. and am not wasting any more time with this thing than the next few lines.

The 2nd chapter in the Alien prequel trilogy.

The crew of the ship called Covenant’s paradise turns to hell and discovers that the lone survivor of Prometheus is the synthetic known as David.

The beginning is like watching passengers, let me tell you I had to double check the title cause I was experiencing some serious Deja vu~not to mention was just as humdrum of a bore.

Step on spores and the dust is sent flying into a character’s ear and digs in.

There’s nothing really memorable about it except drawings in a room

The Mummy


2017  PG13  1:50  Tom Cruise  Russel Crowe

Death is but a doorway to new life

We live today 

we shall live again

In many forms, shall we return

-Egyptian Prayer of resurrection

 

To start when this first was announced I thought oh no they are rebooting the Brendan Fraser/ ‘scorpion king’ series. Then when they announced it was the Universal and had Cruise attached that was a total turn off.

 

After Luke Evans etc did such a great job with Dracula Untold  WHY OH WHY would you ruin Universal Studios’ classics like this?!  Dear Boris Karloff is rolling over in his grave

First off Tom Cruise…ALL wrong for anything in the movie or the extended Universal reboot. Russell Crowe as Jekyll & Hyde, I thought was a fitting and would work. For me he did but I wish there was a little more of him in the movie.

The movie should have had another 30 something – early 40s and not someone that really needs to stay away from action movies now. Tom Cruise has lost a few steps and is wrong for them.

As for THE MUMMY itself, she didn’t even look like one. As soon as I saw the preview of the movie, I knew it would fail.

The movie starts in England 1127 where they entomb the Mummy (I forget her name but it doesn’t matter).

There are crusade knights in a burial chamber that reminds me of a chamber of bullets in as if a giant revolver.

A part I think was supposed to be humorous when we first see cruise falls flat on its face for the whole sequence.

For some reason, this gave me a chuckle. (I’m guessing it was the delivery that helped it)

If an air strike hits, don’t be on top of buildings

In this Dr. Henry Jekyll is a collector of ‘Supernatural Artifacts”  and runs Prodigium.  They should have made a Jekyll &  Hyde movie first besides Fiver Finger Death Punch has a cool song with that title that would fit quite nicely in a soundtrack for the movie!  Plus J & H doesn’t get as much ‘love’ as the other Classic Universal Monsters do.

There’s no spooky tone, or eerieness to this it is definitely NOT worthy of the Universal brand.

If Jekyll turns to Eddie Hyde why not make his hair all crazy looking at least to show the change, at least personality wise?  Instead of just how it was done. It didn’t look like much of a difference.

 

Skip this and just watch the original one with Boris or watch Dracula Untold. So glad I didn’t pay to see this in the theater

 

Mojave


2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)

 

F

Don’t Breathe


2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art

 

Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.