Lights Out


2016  PG-13 1:21  Horror  Teresa palmer, Billy Burke, Maria bello, Eric Heisserer, Gabriel Bateman, Alexander DiPersia

Well its not the most original as in a sense Diana reminds me of the Insidious demon and something else that has yet to come to mind. I’m wondering if this is based on some Japanese horror movie one for me it sort of feels like it and 2 there’s a picture with Diana who’s hair is covering her face and she has a parasol.

We get a bit of back story all I will say is she had a skin condition. The mother is mental the daughter is estranged because of Diana  and

So as I like to and being the name of the movie is lights out… I left mine off to watch.

So I’m watching the movie and its got to be at least 15 minutes in and at most 45  and all of a sudden my door flies open, then I see this black thing moving on the floor! For a second I did feel spooked, but that’s my black cat! her perfect timing (this cat actually makes me scream when she’s in crazy mode and runs past me sometimes just meowing.

Also many try sneaking up on me and scaring me and doesn’t work, the cat meows and I don’t know she’s there… I jump (go figure!)

anyway so I’ve never been scared of the dark that I can remember (other than when I’ve scared myself) Other than that little creep out by my cat the movie isn’t scary (I have nightmares worse than this and I laugh t those)  Heck I have had a boyfriend and some cousins scarier than this!

I will say that Diana reminded me of some water logged character the way the hair was…

as for worth a watch.. wait for rental or cable —Amazon

IMDB

The Darkness


Image result for The Darkness Movie 20162016   PG-13  Horror Thriller    1:32    Kevin Bacon,   Radha Mitchell, David Mazouz ,  Ming Na Wen, Jennifer Morrison    (IMDB)

 

This was supposedly based on real life events. A malignant spirit  returns with the Taylor family who was vacationing at the Grand Canyon where their autistic son Mike  finds some stones with Native pictographs on them.

Soon after the family returns home  there are some odd occurrences  and their daughter gets ‘sick’. The son sees someone or something he calls Jenny, and of course as usual the un-explainable things escalate

I will give it one thing where I would think to be no suspense there was a bit there, though it was  not to the point of intensity you want to scream or jump if there’s a loud noise. So for that I add a a few points but minus a bunch on the whole native legend part (its something that is over used, that it feels more aImage result for The Darkness Movie 2016 cop out and If a story is based on a building built on a Native Burial ground or some sort of sacred ground, then  it’s just cookie cutter… change the characters names, the setting and they are basically all the same)

Another thing I will give it a points boost for, I don’t remember ever seeing an autistic child portrayed in a movie. Also I thought they didn’t speak,(or very rarely)  but then I met someone that was and he spoke fairly well.

C-

Watch or order Here via amazon

The Shallows


2016    PG-13  Horror/Thriller     Blake Lively   blu-ray       1:37

What was once in the Deep, is now in the shallows

While surfer Mia is riding waves at a remote beach, ends up stranded aout 20-30 yards away from from shore staled by a great white.

In the trailer, that does not look all that shallow to me, besides if it really were the shallows, the weight of the shark I don’t think would be able to get around especially where the rock and coral formations are. But then I define  ‘the shallows’ at a beach as being up to one’s waist and not past. Which would be about 3-4 feet.

Why does the shark start to stalk her? Because the dumb ass went over to see why all the birds and stuff were making a fuss. Which ended up being the territory of the shark and therefore she brought it on herself. (remember curiosity did kill the cat)

Another thing dumb ass isn’t even wearing water shoes so that if she steps on coral it won’t cut her. Plus she leaves all her stuff on the beach (there are waterproof pouches to keep your phone and ID on you (I have one)

I think they used 2 maybe even 3 beach/water  locations  One being that Exotic beautiful turquoise colored one with the nice landscape. Then there’s another where the water looked dark, more like it was the Atlantic, maybe that was just for the close ups. There is some shark related violence but you don’t see much if any at all, let alone when you do its not that gory.

For some reason no one will seem to tell her what the name of the beach is One says ‘This is Paradise” I can tell they aren’t telling her the actual name. So I guess it’s Shark Beach or Great White Way. Not sure if she ever really learned the real name.

Could they be more cheesey with the close ups of Lively’s ‘bits’ (for those of you without a clue.. her ass and boobs)?!

I’m surprised we didn’t hear an uproar over this from 2Ks quasi-feminists (sorry if you aren’t from the 1960s and burned your bra.. you are not feminist)

Certainly not worth a re-watch its a one and done deal, other than maybe rewinding the ‘Lively’ (yeah couldn’t help with that pun) battle with the shark. I’d say there’s a hole somewhere I can’t place what it was as far as the story goes is missing something. I was surprised however with the end game of the battle and who survived or not. I think will have to give the shark or Lively (not sure which) a nom for the next Avatar Awards as far as the fight goes. I’d say I might be able to see that happening in a Jaws movie  (gods forbid if they ever remake that!)

Thankfully I didn’t see it in the theater There wasn’t much depth to the character as ‘The Shallows’ apparently wasn’t just the title but a warning, but then again when there’s one character for 90-95% of the movie there’s not going to be much character evolution.

Regardless if you saw the ‘Jaws for the next generation’ There is no comparison.  It is NO Jaws not even a microcosm.

NOT . AT. ALL. ORIGINAL.    C     Watch or Order on amazon

 

The Huntsman: Winter’s War


2016  PG-13  Action, Fantasy  1:54  Chris Hemsworth, Jessica Chastain, Charlize Theron, Emily Blunt

Prequel to Snow White and the Huntsman. Here Ravenna has a sister Freya (yes as in the Norse Goddess) whose grief leads her to unleash her icy powers (queue ‘Let Go Let it snow whatever the name of it is..)

She is feared in her kingdom  where the only rule is Do not love.

“Do Not Love….it’s a sin. Love is a lie, it is a trick played by the cruel on the foolish and the weak. Cast it from your mind never let it render you frail of mind or of will.”

She saves the children from ‘suffering’ and they are trained to become her army. Just one problem, her 2 best warriors fall in love…

Wait if this is a prequel then how the hell is Ravenna in Snow white and the Huntsman when here she is supposed to be dead? did someone make a consistency error; AHHH that’s how!

Whoa! a river of molten gold, why not just throw the ‘mirror’ in that so that it melts.

I swear its a live action version of Frozen and for that alone it gets a            D!

 

Available in DVD, Blu-ray, 4K & Amazon Video here

Joy


2015      PG-13      Drama    2hrs

Jenifer Lawrence   Robert De Neiro, Bradley Cooper,Edgar Ramírez, Diane Ladd, Virginia Madsen,Elisabeth Röhm,Dascha Polanco,Isabella Rossellini

When I first heard the name of the mop I was thinking of this one, which I think mom had, but there wasn’t enough of the that fabric stuff on there.  It was better for cleaning up the spills than cleaning the whole floor at least in my opinion but as I said wrong mop~

So I finally came across this on cable already 4-5 minutes in but that’s not much to miss.

Joy as a child would create things, one being a paper house with a paper tree, and paper fence. Honestly it did look nice, but I don’t think we got to see the actual house set up) then her parents divorce  and the dream of the child is lost.

her mother is a lazy lump who only lays on the bed watching her soaps. (And damn are those some exaggerated padded shoulders on that one!) Joy literally has to do everything around the house, even what she can do for the plumbing problems which her mother causes. There’s her 2 kids, her Grams Mimi, the mother, and her Ex Husband living in the basement; then her father shows up at the door with his girlfriend who has dumped him. So now he has to live in the basement with the ex-husband and they don’t get along. …Talk about dysfunctional! Oh there’s her half sister who always looks so stern, and I hated on every level. I’d swear it’s Kate Winslet but I know its not, as there’s another actress that reminds me of her for some reason. Oh that’s that name of the actress, and where else I’ve seen her, on The Last Ship and I hated her character on there too.. I notice a recurring theme in her roles… she’s ‘that person’ you can’t stand at work, in your family, the problem customer etc. basically she puts the bag in D-bag!  The family I didn’t care for much either but it depended on who was around as some could be endearing and others just pissed me off. Not sure how Joy didn’t ever just explode at them, as at some point (and she seemed at it) I would have! They tell her she knows nothing about business, to me they came off talking to her about this as if she were a teenager (or younger) honestly everyone has some business sense. I personally found it can be better when you play against the norm, now this was 1998 and one of the jobs I got I walked in told the boss to ‘give me a job; I’m sick of walking around, filling out applications for places not even hiring, (which it seems like no one was) and just having my time wasted.” Well he didn’t have anything at the time, but some months later, I was hired! Sometimes you need to be bold, different and just use a proverbial smack upside the head.  Though Joy’s sister just needs a smack in the face, ok sorry I had to deal with someone like her at my old job.

It’s the family’s fault she isn’t in a better place now, as she put off college because of her parents divorce, self sacrificing  everything she wanted, especially after meeting Tony and getting married. Well dad finds a new (seemingly wealthy)  girlfriend who invites them on her sail boat. Sadly Tony brings red wine which is not good for the teak wood which stains, and of course what happens someone’s glass breaks and spills. Joy as always has to clean up when thanks to wringing the mop, she cuts her hand on the glass & Lights on!

She is calculating her idea and first uses her daughter’s crayons to draw the thing out.  Not able to get a foot in the door until Tony brings her to meet a former co-worker and there does get her foot in the door and impresses the guy until one of the actors for the QVC channel botches her chance.  (Honestly I would have never agreed to that in the first place, I’m the one who made it, Its my passion and my finances on the line. The ONLY right person to sell your stuff is you as you know what you had in mind for it, how best it works and so on.) In front of her family she’s humiliated because of this moron and she grows a pair (guess pops new girlfriend is now eating her words!)  She walks in on a meeting and gets her chance to sell her miracle mop herself!  Then with a few other bumps in the road, including kicking Texas ass! (NOW dad’s girlfriend is really eating her words!) Joy is a great movie for any young girl or woman to see (watch it together, as I forget if there were any bad words etc) We can all look up to her, and I felt a sense of pride in this especially at the end!

I am surprised I enJOYed it (yeah could help with the pun there!)  and Give it an A!

 

watch or order movie via Amazon Video,or get it on DVD, Blu-ray or 4k

This is the REAL Joy, inventor of the the Miracle Mop

Krampus


2015  PG-13 comedy, Fantasy, Horror  1:38  Adam Scott, Toni Collette, Krista Stadler,Conchata Ferrell, David Koechner,Luke Hawker  & a bulldog named Thor! (the irony!)   IMDB info

There is no record of Krampus recorded until the 1600s WAY past Pagan age. Unless you want to associate him with Loki’s ‘Reindeer games’ helmet’ (of Marvel’s Avengers) that’s the only option.  Christmas is BASED on a mass amount of Pagan rituals so the Christians could get them to convert. Santa Claus is pretty much St. Nick & Krampus in one. Frankly considering all the crap holiday movies of all the other genres (esp. comedies) with all the joy and happiness… its about freaking time that a horror one comes out. Also there is nothing in Pagan religions that likely resembles Krampus. I find it to possibly be the Christian view of the devil having a good and bad for the holiday as there’s always a yang to the Yin .

Image result for Krampus Movie

The profile silhouette of Krampus is imposing and creepy enough, sort of across between the Beast (from Beauty and the beast) some old witch hag and as I said Loki’s reindeer games helmet.

The movie opens with a holiday shopping montage, that I’m surprised Krampus didn’t show up right there. Honestly they need to do something about those ‘riots’ have pre-orders done and pay half or something. Anyway so while there Tom and Sarah’s son Max has some school holiday show and well …sugar hits the fan!

So now uptight mom Sarah and workaholic dad have their obnoxious relatives coming for the holidays (not sure if the parents or kids are worse though!) Hope none of your relatives are like these people!  So I think them being at the house puts the naughty meter in the red and so are getting a visit from Krampus for their 12 months of  naughty business.Though the amount of what I see in just what’s supposed to be a few hours at first I think was enough to beat out the previous months!

Adam Scott first off I think was a bad casting decision.. or was the movie also supposed to be a comedy? Oh lord yeah it was supposed to be part comedy but aside from one quote :  “Looks like Martha Stewart threw up in here” from The Aunt and delivered with perfection from 2 & 1/2 Men’s housekeeper. Aside from that it wasn’t all that funny, aside from a few Psychotic Gingerbreadmen!  but those alone were better than all of The Night BeforeImage result for Krampus Movie

And this movie might make you think twice about Ginger Bread men!

LOVED those I was baffled at first but I knew there was a reason I didn’t like that stuff! These hellions were some 5 sorts of freaky.

What do you get when you cross a Teddy Bear and a Nightmare?   This  ‘Bear Mare’, Night bare, Teddy Mare? pick one of preference! I flinched when I first saw it. (Really hope mine doesn’t turn into this or I’m so screwed as it’s right in the corner near my head I wouldn’t put it past him to literally bite someone’s head off!Image result for Krampus MovieSo in a sense the movie was sort of scary especially when Krampus was around though they should have kept it more mysterious having the silhouette, and not directly showing the talk about the horses mouth, and goat eyes! His elves reminded me of the goblin or was it a dark elf I forget from the movie Legend that starred Tom Cruise. Also the movie gave me the only snow I got to see for this holiday so for that I give it a B otherwise it was a good C!

Doctor Strange


2016   PG-13      Marvel  115 minutes  Action/Adventure/Fantasy

stars       Benedict Cumberbatch, Rachel McAdams  Mads Mikklesen, Tilda Swinton, Benedict Wong, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Benjamin Bratt       imdb.com

 WOW! That Opening certainly beat DiCaprio’s bendy Inception!

 The shifty Scenery is more mind blowing than just bending.

So the cause of the accident that ruins Doctor Strange’s hand, he was driving not only super fast but talking on the phone as well. I honestly feel bad more for that car than the doc. However as far as the Doc’s hands go, I can relate in a way.. as I have been having a problem with my right since the beginning of 2016….to the point I quite often get very frustrated as I cannot pick things up, or write.

Well there is certainly a lot to take in during this movie as far as the scenery goes. There were times like those scenes with the moving walls I didn’t know what to focus on, or where to focus. For this movie it may be best to sit in a row more towards the  middle of the theater!

During The Doctor’s research into getting his hands back, a file is taken from archives for him, on Jonathan Pangborn (played by

Bemjamin Bratt)   who was a former patient of Strange’s that was somehow paralyzed, and turned away by the doc; however he some how found a way to be able to walk again.

Surrender Control to gain control

Doctor Strange    ~ ‘What’s in the tea….LSD?  (after a trippy scene.)

Ancient    Have you seen that before in a gift shop?

No one knows how old the Ancient One really is,  only that she’s Celtic (me thinks Druid, is more likely)

There’s Sanctums in New York, London and Hong Kong that protect the world

They use the mirror dimension  to practice and observe as what happens there does not interfere with this reality, however dark sorcerers can be more powerful  in it

The infinite  multiverses = infinite dangers

 (no really? gods that sounds too much like the over done Spider-man  “With Great power…..” line)

There are mild funny instances  but not like the laugh out loud  ones we get from the Avengers movies characters.

Kaecilius: Mister 

Strange: Doctor

Kaecilius: Mister Doctor

Strange: Strange

Kaecilius: We’ll see

However they did the ‘moving’ sets practical, CGI or a bit of both I LOVE them! I hope the blu-ray will have a Behind the Scenes of how they did that in the special features. Plus I can’t wait to do some lay pause/slow motion to see it unravel slower. The make-up FX love the purple and ‘scales’ around Mads eyes (almost makes me think Captain Hook from Once Upon a time will show up and call him Gator or crocodile.)

Another Favorite is the Cloak of Levitation, it most certainly has a sense of humor of its own and those are the times the room was a well of laughter! (especially during a fight scene) Then there was that set of hand…errr make that body cuff.

Am I the only one, but does Dormomu, the face in the stars look a lot like Thanos to you?

Now THAT…Was an adventure! Though I’m not sure if I like this or Civil war better than the other, but then they are 2 types of movies.I’m somewhat speechless aside from the notes I took while watching the movie, so  I think I’m going to need another view as I think the first viewing put me into a shock of sorts.

 

Time Kills Everything

2 Easter Egg scenes- one with Thor and the other well you’ll just have to wait to watch!

PRE-ORDER from Amazon Video

 

For those of you with an Alamo Draft house near you as an Alamo Victory member I am a Victory member. This movie marked a milestone and I reached the Fighter Level which got me a free non-alcoholic  milkshake. So I ordered a Chocolate Peanut Butter one and found Bliss in a shake!I think they make it from scratch as there were chopped peanuts in it and not globs of peanut butter (or syrup) like most places do.

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Benedict Cumberbatch Teases Doctor Strange’s ‘Key Role’ in MCU Phase 4
Doctor Strange: How Infinity Stones Play Into The Movie

A whos who Preview

Benedict Wong Confirmed For Avengers Infinity War
Doctor Strange’s Mads Mikkelsen Sees His Villainous Character As A “Hero”
Mads Mikkelsen Talks Doctor Strange

 

Benedict Cumberbatch Talks Doctor Strange
Doctor Strange: Kevin Feige Explains How Science & Magic Mesh

How Ant-Man, Thor & Doctor Strange Set The Rules Of Magic And Science In The MCU

New Doctor Strange Character Posters Debut

Doctor Strange: Chiwetel Ejiofor On The Changes To Mordo’s Character

How Marvel Built The World Of Doctor Strange

Doctor Strange: How The Eye Of Agamotto Was Created

Doctor Strange: The Eye Of Agamotto Holds An Infinity Stone

Doctor Strange: How The Sanctum Santorum Was Created

How Color Brings Doctor Strange’s Team Together