Mercury Plains


2015  R  1:42  ‘Neo- western’     Scott Eastwood

 

Eastwood plays Mitch Davis who heads to Mexico with a friend, who disappears from the bar (and I don’t think is ever mentioned or shown again…WTF happened to him?) Mitch falls in with errr make that recruited to a para-military group fighting the cartel.

After watching it I realize I ordered it for dad.  Now there have been times that when I’e watched soemthing even though it wasn’t my taste I’ve occasionally like it… this is not one of those. This is definately NOT a buy for your library as a physical copy would et as dusty as the desert (and a digital one well I think would just kill your device!) not even really worth a rental (unless as usual you may be bored in a hotel or some place there is not much if anything to do)

 

 

Mojave


2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)

 

F

Zoombies


2015   NR Horror 1:30  Ione Butler, Andrew Asper, Lala Nestor,Kim Nielsen,   more cast

A strange virus  quickly spreads through a safari park zoo called Eden which is an endangered wildlife refuge. WE

start in turning all the zoo undead. So now we all know this is a stop the creatures before they escape and cause more dismemberment and zombify everything in their path.

Being a fan of the tv series ZOO  (and trying to get my hand on a copy of the book) I thought I’d watch this as an appetizer before season 3 of the show.

one notable quote is

“It’s a zoo, NOT Jurassic Park”

 

Why hasn’t this been on Syfy or Chiller channel? I would have went nuts as it would have been a treasure to catch on there. Heck for all I know it could have been on there and I missed it.

One memorable part was the daughter in her mother’s office… where she is playing. I don’t want to set up the whole thing I’ll just say I will never look at a Koala the same way again.  actually you may not look at a lot of the animals the same way again. (and why I hope there’s never a zombie cats movie)

 

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12 Rounds: Lockdown


2015      R      1:30   Dean Ambrose, Daniel Cudmore, Roger Cross, Lochlyn Munro

After discovering evidence that implicates his fellow officers (oh how original!) Shaw  is hunted down by said comrades.

Well for one I now know Dean Ambrose’s real name as far as the cast listing, and I think I’d legally change my name to Dean Ambrose! lol

While the first 2 were a cruel ‘game’ The first one I regretted not seeing in the theater. As when I watched it I was surprised a  ‘WWE studios’ movie or just one with a wrestler in it was actually good for once. Usually they are crap! (and the reason I skipped it in the theater)  The one with Randy Orton I don’t think was out in the theaters however it’s Randy Orton one of my faves! So I had to watch~

Now we have Dean Ambrose which I never saw getting his own movie (I thought CM Punk, would but he was always treated like crap by the organization)  though Roman Reigns or Rollins I thought would have one before the Bulldog would (as I always referred to the 3 of them as the dog Pound. Roman and Rollins being a Rottweiler and a German Shepard or even a doberman)

45  minutes in, this is (thankfully) not the usual 12 Rounds fare.  The protragonist (Ambrose) doesn’t have to save his girlfriend or wife’s life and having to run etc all over in a certain amount of time to make it to the next round of the game. Here, he’s the one with the 12 rounds…literally.  He opens his magazine (the clip of ammo in the gun for those of you that don’t know the lingo)  and there are 12 bullets. So you could say he’s the one controlling the ‘game’

The bit with the tazer in the crime lab gave me a laugh.. it’s the bomb but not in the way that phrase means.

I am not digging Ambrose in the role but he does clean up nicely.

If predictabil;ity were a super power…..this has it!

Aside from the one liners  I give it a D

 

Order them for your library via amazon

12 Rounds  starring John Cena *  Original on imdb

12 Rounds:Reloaded starring Randy Orton * Reloaded on IMDB

12 Rounds: LockDown Dean Ambrose                            Lockdown: on IMDB  *

Transporter Refueled


2015     PG-13    Blu-ray   1:30 (but feels longer)   ** Ed Skrein, Ray Stevenson,

 

If you couldn’t tell by the titled (and perfectly titled too)   it’s a  reboot of the Jason Statham franchise. Now Ed Skrein plays Frank whats his name to carry on the adventures of the private mercenary only known in the underworld as the Transporter.

His father is retiring meanwhile there’s some sort of Prostitution ring that gets an upheaval. One of said ladies of the night wants to get out of the business and hires Frank for a job

I remember when Statham was in the movies… the fighting scenes with him were longer and faster,  that you could barely keep up. In this… they are shorter as well as No bullshit slower paced fights.

During one fight they end up in a very narrow hall of what at first I thought were like safety deposit boxes, but really just a hall of drawers. I see how narrow it is and I’m thinking how the hell are they going to fight, it doesn’t even look kike there’s room to move let alone fight moves. Well for us, it was a funny highlight of the movie (with little else)

Another highlight was a blink and miss it trick with the license plate (aka ‘tags’ as some places call them)

For a reboot I thought this was a bad job. Why not start it as a prequel where Skrein is a younger Frank, but we see how he came to be what he is? Or at least some sort of a back story here or there. Some of the dialog Skrein has I couldn’t catch, but gotta love that car… all cars should be made like that first audi!

The Fun house Massacre


2015,  R    1:30      Horror ,   Robert England, Jere Burns, Clint Howard, E.E. Bell, Candice De Visser   (cast and more)

 

A nod to slasher flasher films Six crazy killers make for six times the fun.

UGH! The reporter looks  like she belongs in a bad vampire movie. Can you say wig from party city?

Doctor Who Joker alert!

The Land of Illusion Haunted park Fun House is designed on serial killers. If I remember right I do believe something happened with one of them on that land.  Curly Q’s death was too cool, actually got a reaction out of me!)

The bee girl has got sting, that is some revenge to all dentists (if you are one, sorry but one of your own ruined it for you when I was a kid..no apologies from me when you tell me to bite down and I do bite you! lol)

Cliche’s and nothing I haven’t seen before  (except Curly’s death) Oh yeah and that goth is more deranged than Harley Quinn.

There’s some bad to awful acting in it but was able to get through it

Well the Stitch Face Killer (the one that looks like a Goth Harley Quinn) just found the actor is born the day after me.

I’d give it a C-

 Want to give it a watch?  Order here with Amazon

 

Get to know the killers

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Definately gives Harley Quinn a run for her padded cell!

This Doll, is the evil Annabell kind. She’s the stich face killer

Between her and the other’s I’m not sure who is the worst.

 

 

 

 

 

The ‘Prophet’ of some cult Manny has Image result for funhouse massacrea surprise link to Dollface.

He has the power of persuasion maybe a bit of a hypnotist even.

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for funhouse massacreIf you thought  you were afraid of clowns before, this psycho will make you think again! Forget a man  he’s more the size of a bull   and the tallest clown I’ve ever seen. He might even be able to stop a train!

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for funhouse massacre mmm Norman Bates’ uncle by chance?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Image result for funhouse massacre

I don’t like dentists and why?  As a kid the one I had always wanted to yank a tooth or drill it. I’m quite sure some of those teeth did not need either! So this guys comeuppance felt like me paying my first dentist back!

 

 

 

 

 

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Wait isn’t that copyright owned by Hannibal?  I do like the spin on the cannibal thing though making the customers the meal!  Forget your food being spit on if you are a problem, you will be on the menu…   Stew’s (stew of course) ,  Filet de Freddy , Kim croquettes  & for dessert TIMasu (tiramisu)

Maggie’s Plan


2015  R  1:38  Romantic Comedy Drama,

** Greta Gerwig, Travis Fimmel, Ethan Hawke,Bill Hader,Maya Rudolph,Julianne Moore

Maggie’s plan to have a child on her own, is derailed when after choosing her sperm donor she meets the man of her dreams.

Ethan Hawke plays John, the married man she falls in love with, whose own marriage to Julianne Moore’s Georgette (I forget what she does as far as work) but she’s colder than the Arctic on a winter day, and is a busy body, hardly any time for the kids let alone paying attention to them. No wonder why he’s straying.

Maggie’s plan in itself was a waste of time in her life as she ends up marrying John, has his kid, and the marrige starts to mirror he old one!  She gets bored  and falls out of love with him and gets him back with his wife. There’s a nice twist at the end during the ice skating but you do need to listen for it and the one she should have been with all along shows just in time! Sequel?? it’s open enough for one. If so I think there will be more of Travis Fimmel which yes I watched only to see him play this pickle entrepreneur. Which was you could say quirky I guess. If Travis weren’t in it I wouldn’t have even bothered watching it.

 

imdb

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