2015 Movie Archive


My Apologies this is not in alphabetical order, However the official Archive (overall) is. You can find anything on that one.

On here the most recent reviews are at the top.

Don’t remember if I saw it in 2015 or not but I don’t remember what month I saw it either…

(FLight) 7500

Hunger Games Mockingjay part 2

Freaks of Nature

Black Mass

Pan

The Condemned 2

Some Kind of Hate

The Keeping Room

Extiction

All Hallow’s Eve

Dark was the Night

The Curse of Downer’s Grove

2015 NR 1:29 teen thriller  from Anchor Bay
a town’s ‘curse’ that has claimed one high school senior’s life every year since 2004. Who will it be this year,  The sweet goody 2 shoes, the jock from another town the kid bro, the Kindergarten friend or slutty bestie?
The story follows Christie who is a skeptic and her best friend Tracy is a believer and may be the next victim. Chuck the jock ‘roid from the other side of the tracks fancies Chrissie, invites her to a party and from there on antagonizes her. Meanwhile her guy friend since kindergarten has a crush on her but doesn’t seem to have the guts to go further with it, and aside from a drunken snug she’s not interested in him that way.
So far the curse looks more like a bunch of stupid bored teens in a town with nothing for them to do but drink and do drugs. Or you can call it the stupidity curse even, cause drinking, drugs, and Live Triangles or shall I say squares and one or 2 of those being ‘mental’ is a curse or is it.. maybe there’s just something about the land.   Predictable, but watchable. I was hoping it wouldn’t end as I thought it was and instead it would be something more dramatic than it was (honestly I’ll just say when she’s on the swing I was hoping something would fall out of the sky, or something come up from the ground as a  “yeah it’s a curse” but no just the lame predictable ending it had.     C

The Last Shift

Jurassic World

The Last Witch Hunter

Mission Impossible: Rouge Nation

Aloha

Selfless

Furious 7

Minions

Goosebumps

The Equalizer

Everest

The Visit

The Final Girls

Burnt

2015 R 1:40
starring Bradley Cooper Sienna Miller, Daniel Bruhl, Alicia Vikander Uma Thurman
Cooper plays chef Adam Jones who after being  disgraced with drugs & drinking tries to redeem himself in an attempt to open a world class cutting edge restaurant to get a coveted 3rd star in the Michelin guidebook.
Along the way he encounters a  platter of obstacles like assembling a competent staff to keep him from Gordon Ramsay volcano tirades.
“I want to make food that makes people stop eating”
Not my kind of movie but its not bad though its one of those that didn’t feel like it had an ending.
I think only c worthy

Inside Out

December

A Christmas Horror Story

Vacation

Paul Blart: Mall Cop

 

November

Red Clover

Spy

Tokyo Gore Police

The Gift

Happy Birthday to me

San Andreas

Pixels

Entourage: THe Movie

October

Poltergeist (2015)

Insidious 2  & Insidious chapter 3

dolls

Crimson Peak

The Houses October Built

contracted

House by the Cemetery

Borgman 

Scooby doo & Kiss Rock and ROll Mystery

We Were the Mulvaneys

No Tell Motel

September

Home

Mad max :fury road

Hot-pursuit

 Jupiter Ascending

Caffeine +  The Invisible Man

Green Street Hooligans

 

August 2015 

Zombeavers

2015    R      1:17

When I first heard about this movie I thought it was a joke or something someone made for youtube.  Something like how the Grindhouse movies had the fake trailers between the 2 movies when it was in the theaters (even though Machete became a reality).  Well I was certainly wrong , but as for the joke part ‘m guessing this is going to be a major ‘Camp Schlock’ fest

It starts with your typical cell phone ass-head driving and looking at the phone screen and bang…

3 College girls go on a getaway to the country, it was originally supposed to be with their boyfriends but of course one of them screwed up so its a girls weekend now. Of course we have the cliches of the goody good looking girl, the mean gothy looking one, and the glasses wearing one. Pretty much same for the guys and no one seems to be with who you would think.

 

Woah That is one serious game of Wack a mole!   LOL “Really” well we have something unexpected and what followed was even less so. A definite watch  if you want a laugh, with a horror flair even if you don’t like this sort of movie. I enjoyed it besides it’s actually a bit less than the time mentioned if you subtract the time for the credits~   B

Curse of Chucky

2013 R 1:35 a mysterious package arrives as the residence of Nica and her mother’s house. This was supposed to have been made by the original creators. Chucky looks a bit different some how, I think they used a few different dolls (and CG) as at times his head looks bigger, and walking down the stairs looks like a person in costume. he also looks like he’s got bags under his eyes. I do love the house in this, just not sure what style gothic?) for me it’s the only creep factor of the movie.

Nica’s sister Barbara think’s Nica needs assisted living and all that, apparently her sis is clairvoyant. I think the mystery of why chucky showed up at the door is more interesting but very predictable, especially during family time. Full of cliche’s from the previous movies C

the cobbler

the long-weekend  &  shockwaves

Project Almanac,

 Mortdecai 

Annie

What we do in the shadows 

 One-for-the-money

movie icon_png_reel_film_reel_film_png_reel_film_iconThe Walking Dead

*Boris Karloff  as John Elmer    B/W    1:04   A man framed for  murder is sent to the chair. A doctor brings him back and those framed him start dropping like flies. Even though this isn’t ‘Frankenstein’ per say, 1. Boris still looks like  ‘Franky’ in it (it must be the hair) and then there’s the way he’s brought back (minus the patchwork of parts)

Frankenstein 1970

b/w  1:15  So Boris plays Victor the last descendant of the Frankenstein line and resurrects his great ancestor’s monster while a film crew stays at the castle.

July 2015

Into the Woods

Army of the Damned

It Follows

2015 R 1:40  This movie used horror rule number 1,  have sex, you die.

A sexually, sinister, malignant  unseen (to others) presence that takes any form it pleases stalks its victims after they have sex. It’s a walking STD!

Ouch! someone needs some knee surgery done after running in heels! The girl getting ready to go out I’d describe as “wholesome slut” style. its suspenseful what is ‘it’?  I’ll give you a clue or 2 (or at least my theory)

  1. Look Up supernatural beings  (Incubus & Succubus)
  2. You should look those up in demons & Spirits of..

Entertainment Weekly had it in it’s Best/ (or was it favorite) 2015 mov ies of the year so far List.   B

The Kingsman:The Secret Service

2015 R 2:09 (prossibly less)  Agent Harry Hart (Colin Firth) recruits a delinquent teen to teach him the skills to be a Kingsman spy. These are the privately ‘owned’ version of an english FBI or VIA (whatever 3 letters would have our spies). The car chase has a funny beginning as it starts out. ‘Eggsy’ (Taron Egerton) snags some bullies car, then ends up backing up from a police car. Samuel Jackson  plays what’s supposed to be a villain who has a lisp (which is a tickle) but he never seems like a villain. You like him, which I believe is different but its like he’s too soft to be one. Now those are impressive ‘fireworks’. The fight scene and CGI (well at least for the sidekick) assassin were good, and the new bond films might want to take notes  from this movie. I had far more fun and enjoyment watching this movie (like I did the Pierce Bronson Bond films) than the Lame ass Daniel Craig ones. I hope there will be a kingsman 2 after all there are now 2 proginies (and as I looked up information on the movie) there will be a sequel! 

Chain Mail

Think I may have seen before maybe just parts of it Cool soundtrack so far and of course eye candy becomes slasher a bit . This should be part of that ABCs of Death. So what’s at the end of this chain mail? Death..if you don’t pass it on. I like the idea of it, as with hacking and video etc I wouldn’t be surprised if someone really did this as a serial killer, so in that way I think it’s scary (I guess being as I don’t usually pass them on) C-

Sharknado 3-

The Golden Chainsaw award! LOL oh my there’s a roller coaster in this one, why do I get the feeling of a Final Destination parody?  Really have that ‘Final Destination feeling’ of something bad about to happen. It’s Fin’s daughter’s birthday and he’son his way to celebrate with her when guess what (note sarcasm) a storm is on its way toward the area he’s in. It sounds like the media is turning on Finn. Instead of him being seen as a hero, now they’ve gone to blaming him for the Sharknados (as if he can control the weather…)  There’s some wannabe (TMNT) casey Jones, which turns out to be an old friend. This one is loaded with cameos! Besides ‘The Hoff’ co-starring in it, there’s a One I don’t think I even noticed that I read about. Game of Thrones author George RR Martin. There’s also Lou Farigno, Frankie Muniz, & Bo Derek to name a few and a couple of Nascar drivers, to which I don’t like and happy of their fate in the movie! Not only are there more sharks than the last 2 movies but they definitely upped the ante on the amount of celebrities as well (I think there is more in this one than the 1st 2 put together!)  Shameless promo for Redd’s Apple Ale and to no surprise The Hoff’s role is Finn’s dad ‘Gilbert’ .

I know sequels have a stigma but this series certainly does not! I think the 3rd film is the best and funniest yet!  We even get to choose April’s fate for the next movie! (which will happen in the beginning of the movie I’m sure). its sort of like Final Destination 3 meets Armageddon and Independence Day (no puns). One of my favorite parts is the irony of the woman being shown vacuuming. I didn’t see a brand on it but I am guessing it was a ‘shark’ brand sucker Pun. As well as the Sharkoaster. Of course there’s some bad & corny acting  as to be expected in a camp (exploitation ?) film. This one is a guilty pleasure which they should show at a drive in, even on a screen on the beach (& at Alamo Draft House) why not have the option to see them all for a low price on the big screen? (the 3rd one would be especially worth it) Chris Jericho from Fozzie & (former WWE wrestler) is in this as well. I thought Nascar driver Ryan Newman was supposed to be in this too, but I guess it was someone else of the same name.

The ending LOL though I thought they should start the next one with the scene (or 2) before last, that would have been cool! I even had a  title for it too.. “Sharks in …well did you really think I’d ruin it? I’ll just say it would be a schlock sounding  B+   but poor Frankie Muniz .. In memory to the body count of the movie.   B+

Night at the Museum: Secret of the Tomb

2015 R 1:40 starring Ben Stiller, Robin Williams Ricky Gervais, Ben Kingsley, Rebel Wilson & Owen Wilson

So Owen Wilson’s cowboy & Spartan friend are watching a cat on you Tube playing with a laser pointer;

“You can’t touch light It’s an illusion  like human happiness”

Something is up with that golden tablet, it looks as if it’s tarnishing and it is making the inhabitants ‘cooky’. My favorite part is the show when the constellations come to life like a planetarium show but better! With this I guess the world now knows of the after hour activity of the museum, to which this show runs a fowl. (Did I miss the last one, I don’t remember it other than it was at the Smithsonian). T-rex playing fetch is now old news, and the lion statues I thought were cute playing with the flashlight.  I was a bit sad watching as I think this was the last movie Robin Williams filmed, (and  don’t think anymore will be being made) and  Mickey Rooney as well (I think).

If this really is the last one, then it may be a good thing. The first was the one with all the magic, though I wish it could go on for one reason: As a child I personally wondered  what happened at the museums after hours and talk about the kid inside  coming out, the first one really made be feel like I was back to that age I had wondered about this (and would like with all my heart to believe it really does!)  I love the Egyptian Gods (almost as much as the Norse)  though I do pray to Bast the cat goddess being as I am a cat lover and have my own Egyptian book of the dead). I wish there was more story on the tablet, as I found what little there was to be quite thin. What did the symbols mean, why do they spin (or so look that way)  Not really bad, but not really funny either or equally remembered.   C

The Hunger Games: Mocking Jay part 1

2014 pg-13  2 hour  everything Katniss treasures hangs in the balance in this 3rd installment of the Young adult Book series’ post-apocalyptic movie epic. As conflict escalates against the capitial, Katniss needs to lead the Rebellion against President Snow. Peta is in the capital doing promos with the tv guy (forget the name) while Katniss does her own promos for the districts.

as far as the last movie goes, I don’t remember anything except the Girl on Fire gown.  There’s a few touching parts, I do like (but not love) the line “things are catching fire and if we burn you burn with us” The rest of the movie doesn’t really even have much action, Katniss seems to stand around with not much to do in this other than Worry, cry or record the promos. Gale is still slunking around, as for Peta well I’ll just say he’s a pet.  You can pretty much watch the movie on fast forward and still know what’s going on.  C-

Digging up the Marrow

2015 NR 1:28   Filmed as a documentary Adam Green a docu  film maker  is compiling a feature about monsters. It starts with interviews  including the singer of Gwar,  the Head of Troma Studios  at comic con (or a likeness of it). Former Detective William Dekker of south California  claims to have evidence of monsters. These ‘monsters’ are the now grown children that were born deformed and have ‘disappeared’.  They live in an underground place he calls ‘the Marrow’. The actor that plays Adam, at times looks like Rob Kazinsky (esp. when he has the aviator style glasses on). The guy playing the cameraman (or actually doing the work) is shaking the camera too much in parts.  yeah I know you want it to seem layed, real etc, but don’t make your audience motion sick WITHOUT moving! Oh Kane Hodder now which slasher villian did he play again.. Leather face Jason from Friday the 13th.. Yep! That one is it.  I want to know what ‘skeletons’ is in Dekker’s chained up closet. (we do see later, but without what or who was in it.  Its not original at all, the Monsters   are only amusing one in, which looks like a knock off Creeper from Jeepers Creepers.  Some parts I had to laugh at cause they were too stupid or just really lame. C-

The Penguins of Madagascar –

2014  PG 1:32 Blu-ray

Those efficiently funny and quite capable penguins; Skipper, Private , Rico & Kowalski  from previous Madagascar films finally have their own film. In this they go fin to tentacle with Dave. Dave  seeks revenge over all the cute animals (the Penguins) that took all the attention from other animals at zoos & aquariums .  The penguins sort of team up with a covert group  called the Northwind consisting of a Wolf, Polar bear, Tiger, Owl, and a seal. The wolf is the alpha of this pack and is quite arrogant. For a villain, dav is too damn perky, yes its a nice change to the dower downers but it’s sort of freaking me out! He has good taste though, but then again his submarine is Purple & green! I LOVE those colors together!  The movie is enjoyable  but they are not as funny as I remember them in the previous films. Not sure if it was because of the writer, or that they are best left to ‘minor’ characters (who are not so minor with their big personalities. I remember them more than the other characters from the movie. Them & the Lemur with his sidekick are my faves!)  C

The Loft-

mystery thriller   2015  R 1;43 * Wentworth Miller, Karl Urban, Eric Stonestreet & James Marsden

5 married guys share a penthouse loft in the city for their extra curricular activities (if you want to put t in a nice way… otherwise for their no good, conniving  cheating ……) The loft turns into a nightmare when one of the guys walks into a ghastly scene awaiting him.  Could it be Chris’ brother or could someone else have framed ‘them’. Of course they all start blaming one another (and that is one reason friends should not share!) Just when you think it’s solved; it’s not really. Quite suspenseful, not to mention; could they have more of my favorite actors in this?  I mean I have watched quite a few of Karl Urban, James & wentworth’s movies & tv shows! The last one or 2 scenes (bar/garage) though, ruins the whole thing for me. I think they should have left it with Wentworth Miller’s last scene. A-

The Seventh Son

2015  PG-13 1:42  *Jeff Bridges, Ben Barnes & Julianne Moore with a cameo by a ‘Direwolf’

Story based on  Josepeh Delaney’s “Ward Stone Chronicles’ trilogy’s first book.

TomWard the 7th son of a 7th son, is an 18th century exorcist’s apprentice and lynchpin in a battle between good & evil.  When Malkin the mother (queen) of Witches escapes imprisonment.  One cool thing… she turns into a dragon! Like that’s original, I think I need to give Malficent a courtesy call about that.  I like Radu’s weapon(s)  not sure why this got bad review at least not to what they mentioned the problems were. Maybe it was the book to movie transfer. Never read the book (hey I’m doing all I can to get through the what like 100 (or so) I have here!)  and not sure what I feel or think of this movie yet. A  numbness, I guess we cold say that’s not good…No?  Some fun though is these witches shapeshift, not only into dragons but other creatures as well. Most if not all the action lies at the end of the movie (which is climatic in a way)  Wait for cable    D

The Blob

1958 NR 1hr 22mins Starring Steve McQueen. I am not sure if I ever saw a movie with him in it but now I have! I like the opening theme, just listen to the lyrics cute & silly. 55 minutes in and I’m thinking I like the one from the 1980’s better. The blob in this one I think looks better than the one from the 80s! Don’t ask me how, but it looks more ‘real’ Like someone made it out of Jell-O or maybe some sort of gel or silicone. The one from the 80s looks like a wad of chewing gum someone stretched across the screen. (go figure, that old sort of FX can look better than a modern day one.)  D (for didn’t dig it)

The Horde-

2009 NR 1:36 run time

corrupt cops  seek vengeance for their fallen friend and find themselves swarmed by a legion of zombies in the hideout of a Paris Gangster. I have seen this before or at least remember bits of it (like the ‘old’ man) If you don’t care for subtitles don’t bother. I don’t think it ever mentions how or where the zombies came about. Stick to the Walking Dead that is worth an entire day of Binge the Horde however, all copies should be burned  F

June 

Chappie

2015  R  2 hours

The movie is set in Johannesburg South Africa, which apparently is a high crime area. High Jackman plays Vincent Moore lead Developer and weapons designer on the Moose project. He’s a former soldier himself and is the competition to Deon Wilson who is the lead developer of the Scout project, which is in current favor with the police department. Wait a minute here, what’s with the colored firearms? UGh and those really bad hair cuts? I can hardly look at Jackman and the girl. One thing I find sad is that an A.I. Robot can show more human emotions and humanity than the humans can. At around an hour or an hour and 5 minutes read the license plate!   When they teach Chappie to be gangsta was pretty funny and the girl with her 80s look is much cooler than ‘Ninja’.Sorry but I have to go ‘there’: White boys acting black should be hit upside the head cause I’m sure no matter what your race… they look stupid to you too! (and this is coming from a white girl, about a mile or 3 from the Bronx boarders). The Moose Robot (tank?) is freaking cool! Where’s one of these for our military branches?  If you cry easily, then be sure to have a couple of Kleenex handy for the last maybe half hour of the movie cause even I was touched (and I don’t cry easily when it comes to movies)  And the Student or ‘baby’ surpasses the teacher/maker (ah the force is good with this one)   Shame we can’t do what they did, at least with the greatest minds and talents humankind has.  B-

Gravity-

I only saw the last quarter or maybe a bit more) of the movie. From what I saw it was intense and felt Bullock’s character’s frustration and panic.  I don’t think thought that I’d be able to watch the whole movie in one sitting though.  N/G

King Ralph –

stars John Goodman as Ralph who becomes heir to the English throne. Peter O’Toole plays I guess his assistant. I didn’t see the whole thing I caught it already in progress on cable.  What I saw was funny and i’d liken it to a male version of the Princess Diaries  C+

Winter’s Tale-

caught this from the beginning on cable but I know i missed at least 15 minutes up to half an hour as I was called away from it possibly at a pivital moment as I was not sure what was really going on in the movie let alone why Russell Crowe was chasing Colin Farrell’s character. I’m not sure how I feel about it. There is a special horse in it or so I thought when I first saw it. If I didn’t know better I’d say it was the one from Legend that 80’s movie with Tom Cruise in a loin cloth. (maybe it’s its grand horsie that was in Legend) . THe end is both happy but sad for what I saw of it I’d say a C otherwise a N/G

Gone Girl

caught from beginning on cable 45 to 90 minutes in and I’m wondering how much longer this will be on for; and thanking I never bought into the hype and read the book. There are some funny morbid type jokes. The wife is mental and should be in solitary or a padded cell. I wouldn’t want to be with her, then she acts all stepford wife. It shows how two faced  the manipulative media and caniving masses are (and why I don’t watch the news).  C-

Cutbank

2015   R   1:32  stars Liam Hemsworth, Billy Bob Thornton & (I think its) John Malkovich

While making some audition tape Dwayne played by Liam and his girlfriend witness (while recording) a murder. Dwayne is one of those stereotypical movie small town types that cry ‘i need to get away from here’ . Ooh  not sure if you’d call it a plot twist, but I no longer like Liam’s character. There’s some twitchy dude you know all the bullies picked on with beer goggle thick glasses looking like a creepy  pervy pedophile or another thought was the creepy dude from Human centipede. Well he’s no joke looking for his package which looked like a pretty lunchbox (not the vintage box type of the 70s & 80s but the ‘triangular’ type shaped one.)  I do hope to find out what is in it or why its so important (we do sort of) oh my he’s a Norman Bates knock off! There’s a building I swear is a milk carton or at least made of one. The main and sub lot (mostly sub) was more interesting to me with that dumb lunchbox; probably because I liked the mystery of it.  Once we find out what it was and the connection it for me the movie falls flat (if it didn’t before that)  No real climax, and they should have had some sort of action scene for this type of movie.  C- or D

Non-Stop

2014    PG-13  During a flight to London, US Air Marshall Bill Marks played by Liam Neeson receives texts that threaten that the sender will take a life of one of  the 150 passengers on board every 20 minutes if 150 million dollars is not sent to some account which turns out to be in Bill’s name which the media brands him a hijaker. That whole bit has been overdone I think even more so since 9/11, though you may get a bit of a laugh at the middle eastern looking man that says he hates flying. I’m starting to think its flight Attendant Nancy but I know they are probably making her to be a red herring. Bill does his job as he should even after being told to stand down . Predictable but at times quite intense.  C

The Pyramid

2014     R        1:29    Egyptian Archaeologists by satellite find a three sided pyramid  beneath the desert floor. Once they enter, they find themselves lost in the catacombs  and being stalked. What could be stalking them when even they weren’t aloud in?  From the way it started I take its supposed to be based on a true story and they just added the horror element to it. Considering this was out (I think) give or take the same time as,   As Above so Below was which was in the Paris catacombs. That as it was marketed as horror got a D, but as an adventure movie I gave it a C. The Pyramid was marketed as horror and definitely has more than one element of  horror to it, like a quick what was that here and there, and has a basis with the Egyptian Gods and The Egyptian Book of the Dead. The Monster at the ‘end’ of this Pyramid  I can’t complain about the costume or Spcial FX for the Half man half jackal Anubis or combo of the 2. I’m sure it was costume though as I saw eyes that looked all too human to me. I would think looking in this ‘monster’s’ eyes there should have been either black or red contacts or make it look like there are no eyes at all considering the justice sort of thing it has.  That is the only beef I have with it as far as the ‘costume’. As for the small ‘creatures’ I already didn’t like that breed, I dislike them even more now! It might seem slow going at the start, but not i a bad way. It picks up momentum and I was actually excited and best of all surprised by it! (I guess being as I thought it would be a disappointment. B

St. Trinians

saw this on tv finally caught it  I think one of the guys I used to work with  recommended this to me. IT was crazy, sort of like if the Addams family ran a school. The school is pretty much anarchy. While there are cliques they all work as a team (nothing like what you see in the usual type of movies). Rupert Everett has dual roles and Colin Firth plays some sort of politician or educational director. The girls are realy nothing but delinquents although they use them for good but in a bad way. B

The Duff

2015  PG-13  1:41 stars Mae Whitman  Robbie Amell, Bella Thorne, Ken Jeong  & Alison Janney

IN a clique of attractive buds Bianca finds out from her childhood friend and nextdoor neighbor that she’s the Designated Ugly Fat Friend of the group. So she enlists said neighbor a hot jock (and Cousin to Stephen Amell who plays the Arrow on the CW) to help give her a make-over, and in turn she will help him pass chemistry. The 2 go to the mall, to start the make-over. It’s a ‘She’s all that’ for the 21st century post Y2K set  (even though that was released in 1999). OOh Nice shot, but don’t ruin that hot face, Oh they ripped a line off from the Covenant “looks like a penis only smaller” and in the same part of the movie while in the showers/dressing room. The movie shows how the ‘pretty’ girls maybe on the exterior but not usually on the inside; and how the ‘Duff’s are where it counts most. Be yourself, and what people think of you doesn’t matter. If they don’t like you for who and what you are with all your talents faults etc  then they are shallow and superficial and you don’t need them. It’s your typical teen movie but had a nice spin only our times now can bring with the ‘stupid’ I mean smart phones and youtube etc.  B

Grabbers

2012  NR 1:34  On an Irish Island where alien monsters run a muck, it takes an alcoholic cop to help save the town. During one attack there’s a survivor left, how did he manage to escape the fate of his other fellow islander? Apparently Alcohol is toxic to the critter looking ‘octoliens’ (my word)  Not sure about the title yet… I don’t get it but then again I don’t think I’ve seen how it gets the people, but the title may be lame but is the obvious best choice! Though Grabbers to me sounds more like a plotline about some perverts (or for a porn movie). at first the bartender  of course looks familiar and think he’s ‘Trick’ from Lost Girl… but I’ve got my actors mixed u (besides to me they look like twins) The bartender is played by David Pearce who was in the first season of Vikings. I’d say this is more comedy than horror or sci-fi but hey there are sub-genres. The Baby Aliens look like some sort of creepy flower or coral. as for the big catch I’d say there’s three things the alien reminds me of the first thought was ‘call of Cathulu’ (though as of writing this I have yet to see it) , the other 2 however not really sure I have the right one but the critters or Langoliers. The last one I can’t really recall but it has to do with the way it grabs, so to explain it better I’ll note  Scorpion from Mortal Kombat  which is the closest I can think of to describe how that thing looks.  I can’t pretty much hear ‘Get over here’ every time I see the thing get someone.  you can even watch the movie as a drinking game!     C+

  • Each time you see the big alien take a gulp
  • The babies.. 1 shot each
  • each time the cop drinks from his flask have a swig
  • Everytime you see someone drink a glass, you chug one per glass

Scanners

1981 Rated R 1:38  stars Michael Ironside (the only name familiar to me)

Telepaths known as ‘Scanners’ can get inside ones head and make your skin crawl, look like you are boiling or even make your head explode (cool) ! Some of these scanners are powerful enough to weave their way through computers . The decor and FX (make-up wise and some of the special FX) are dated though some still may come off at a decent level. I can see why this is a cult classic B

P.C.U.

1994  PG-13   Comedy  you can chalk up to as a before they were stars deal. Chris Young, Jeremy Piven as ‘Droz’  Alex Désert as Mullany  Darin Heames as Dave #2  Jon Favreau plays Gutter David and Spade plays the antagonist Rand McPherson  the former owner of the frat house

Tag line :”Flunk’em if you can’t take a joke”   a senior from High School visits Portchester University for the weekend I was calling them a Hippy Frat but it’s more stoner, the 60s era looking clothes screwed me up. There’s a Frizbee game between WoMYNST house and Jerry something for the guys) as in Garcia) Oh wow Cameo from George Clinton (the Funkmeister), and another use for the club (you know that thing they put on the wheel so someone can’t drive off with it?  A House called The Pit which is Piven’s characters house is in some sort of trouble and they need to raise money to keep it, and so it won’t be expelled or something. Meanwhile Spade’s character Rand is in cohoots with the president and I’m guessing Sabotaging them and getting other students to make complaints against the house or just doing it himself.  Sort of Revenge of the Nerds, Animal House and maybe a bit of Dazed and Confused thrown in.  Another classic (cult fave? to add to your summer movie viewing list.)

Summer Rental

The 1985 Comedy  stars John Candy, a little Joey Lawrence and Kerri Green aka Andy from the Goonie along with Rip Torn as Scully . Candy’s character and family rent a summer house on the beach and as far as the description said, is the only good  about the vacation. Candy already has some sort of cast on his leg for some reason, and he just sticks around the house while the family goes out and has fun. as he gets better he hangs out with Skully sailing, the ‘pirate’ also teaches him how to sail while they are out. Of course some drama happens with the house that he challenges the guy to a contest. It’s a nice classic family movie, funny and for what I saw of it I give it a B    on IMDB.com 

Killer Klowns from outer Space

1988  PG-13  1:28

sadly I can’t scan and post the ‘evil’ looking clown face I made over my review. While in the menu two thoughts came to mind.

  1. Is this going to be one of those movies that I ask ‘was this supposed to be a horror movie?”
  2. There’s something abotu the clowns that remind me of that Twilight Zone Movie  with the little boy whose family  is afraid of him which I think turned someone into a giant demented looking bunny. So while writing this out in my journal I don’t know if I let it run too long or while picking up the remote that I accidentally hit a button  but I found an ‘easter egg’! Its the auditions for the Klowns. I check out what other Special features there are  Feature commentary (of course) Featurettes, My faves Deleted Scenes & bloopers, Photo Gallery, Theatrical Trailer. While checking this out I find the easter egg (on purpose this time!)

On the menu where it says ‘Play Movie’ highlight it then press the up button it will highlight the piece of popcorn in a greenish color. That is where the ‘Easter egg is hiding. Now On to the actual review

In this cult favorite the cosmic clowns are here to harvest victims and cocoon their prey in cotton candy to eat later. For some reason I never got to see the whole movie, I have seen  parts of it like the Coccoon room, ‘Clownzilla’ (as I call it) someone shooting at one of the clowns and how to kill them, and the tent maybe another quick clip or 2 but nothing of really knowing the movie.  There’s quite a few  actors from the 80’s faces I remember (really need to go look them up on the movie’s imdb.com page. It’s funny Silly not really dated. The Senior Officer has been in a lot  not only in the 80s but 90s as well that I watched. I think by now our kids regardless of the rating can watch. (cause if you think about it… what was rated R in the 80s (and maybe 90s even) is really now a PG-13 or G  (ahem.. Lost Boys most definitely a PG-13 if that!)    I’m giving this one a B! Because as I said it was a fun silly movie and I want that crazy ass crazy straw!

Bats: Human Harvest

2007     R      1:27 minutes

I can’t remember much of the one that come before, (The Original was 1999,  or which ever one I saw being as sequels don’t use part whatever

anymore) here they are in a Russian speaking country and their soldiers cammo has red in it as if they’ve already ahem.. gone Batty. Some american soldiers are shown rescuing  some white haired guy. When somehow they get the call or just decide to go and see what is going on in this area (where the bats are). Oh Man the Bats can camouflage themselves to look like the tree bark. There’s one guy in this that makes me think of what Chris Pine might look like in a few years.   Timing is predictable, the CG FX are 2nd class  though the make-up fx .. color of blood and those leg wounds were believable enough. The acting was nothing special  but then this was probably made for Syfy channel  to me the story was a bit thin and very overdone as well . How many times are we going to do military vs animal bit?

Big eyes-

2014  PG-13 1 hour 45 minutes DVD

Big eyes is a biopic on the Prominate 1950s painter Margaret Keane (who is alive and well today and still paints every day!).

She is now well known for her pop art big emoting doe eyed Children, but that wasn’t always the case. When she leaves her first husband she and her daughter (which seemed more a shadow than part of the actual story) make a break and leave him for San Francisco. While painting in a park (or a street) doing portraits for those of interest she meets a loud yet charming man by the name of Walter Keane, Played by Christoph Waltz. (who wow the man actually smiles! I don’t think I’ve seen him in a role like this before and am surprised!) The man has got confidence and a great storyteller  (those 2 traits are quite a clue to his character) charisma, and flair.  He takes his paintings to a gallery with Jason Schwartman as the curator who is a snob, about the painitings (including Margaret’s) and says “Clean out the clutter before the taste police arrive’  Kristen Ritter plays Maragaret’s friend  and I wish she could have been in more of the movie (heck. can we bring the Bitch out of apt. 23 to give her her stylings to Walter?)  When marge finally leaves Walter for Hawaii and outs him on a local (Hawaiian) radio show is a time when all women can be proud. (Just too bad she didn’t clobber him over the head with a painting of himself first). Without his Saving Flair I would likely have tuned out early in the movie, as after all the excitement of her paintings gaining Popularity etc, Marge starts to rethink and grow weary and so you somewhat start on a high note, and the other half of the movie feels like the disappointment you feel when you are looking forward to doing something and then the plans get canceled for some reason.  Not really grading this one as it’s a matter for the ‘taste Police’  to decide, but I would think they might say a C or B. And I’m pretty sure an award Nomination for performance by Waltz.

May

The Book of Life –

2014 PG 1:35 on Blu-ray  There’s lots a of Detail and Color. The Grandmother even has a few hairs on her chin! (She also reminds me of some of some other character but I can’t place from where… That dinosaurs show came to mind first but I don’t think that’s quite right. OH Wait it just came to me… If you ever watched the cartoon Foster’s Home for imaginary Friends,  I think it might be a likeness to Madame Foster. The Lead character smart ‘chica’  “what, we’re only here to make men happy”  what’s with the band and the old tunes? I like the story of the 3 lands of the dead and the art on La Morte is very pretty… other than these points there’s really nothing else other than it’s a day of the dead meets Romeo & Juliet type tale  with the characters voiced by Zoe Saldana Danny Trejo and Cheech Marin   No better than a C (and that’s on the animation)

50 to 1

2014  PG-13 1 hour 50 minutes stars Christian Kane, & Skeet Ulrich

This is a True Story Biopic of the Underdog ‘Mine that Bird’  that defied the odds of the 2009 Kentucky Derby. THe horse made me feel like a kid again with it’s shaking its head no, playing around with the ranch hands ad such When I was a child I used to go to a ranch resort in Upstate NY and there was a show one night with a horse that could count. I miss that I wonder if that show is still there. The Poor jockey right before the Derby (that previously rode ‘Bird’.) that’s not the only funny thing, he resembles a friend we know, though this guy looks like he might be a bit older but definitely looks like the guy we know. Whadda ya know, ‘bird’ gets to be #8 which was the same number as a horse at my local track (Yonkers Race Track) which I told a friend to bet on, he didn’t listen to me and the purse was big  and the darn horse came in first!!!! I wish I would have put the $3 I had with me on it! DOh! A

Lone Star-

1996  R 2hr 12 minutes  I rented this for my father, no idea why I bothered to watch it but a man discovers a skull among a cactus patch  along with an old sheriff’s badge near a small Texas boarder town.  For me it was a boring waste that gets lost in the sub plots …SKIP IT    F

The Woman In Black: Angel Of Death

2015  PG-13 1:38 Hammer Studios  No More ‘Harry Potter’ frankly I am not familiar with any of the faces and upon looking up the cast on IMDB.com  the only name that sounds familiar is Jeremy Irvine but no idea as to why. There’s nothing he’s been in other than this that I have seen. I thought this was a prequel to the original but the description says it’s 40 years after the first haunting.   It’s World War 2 and a group of Orphans and their Guardian  teachers are evacuated and seek refuge in the that creepy old Eel Marsh house mansion on the deserted (or supposed to be) island.  And of course with a marsh well you basically have a very big moat  (or maybe it’s just the New Jersey Swamp take your pick) I thought they explained how the woman in black came to be but being it’s not a prequel I guess not. Whatever it was that was being portrayed in Eve’s dreams for me really wasn’t fully clear nor is the movie interesting  D or as the swamp frogs say “Skippit”

Tracers-

2015  PG-13  1hr 34 mins  * Taylor Lautner who plays Cam a New York Bike Messenger who joins a band of  theives who use Parkour  to help with their Heists.  alot happens in 37 minutes , as for watch the rest… No notes but the whole thing felt empty to me. D

 

The Voices-

2015   R  1 hour 43 minutes. starring Ryan Reynolds whose character jerry works at the Milton factor living a batchelor lifestyle with his Ginger Tabby cat Mr. Whiskers and Dog Bosco (I think it’s a boxer) which talk to him (The Tabby cat has a Scottish accent, was floored by this and is a hoot). You can think of the cat and the dog as the Angel & Devil on your shoulder bit like in the old cartoons (like my fave Tom& Jerry). Ryan looks younger in this like from years ago can’t figure out why. Jerry has some sort of mental issue that was inherited from his mother who could ‘hear angels’. There’s a part that I swear i was watching Bates Motel. I was enjoying the story and into it and then the damn disk froze and started from the beginning around an hour in!  So I will have to continue this when I get the new disk. Incomplete grade… C   Of course now that I had to wait for a new DVD to watch what was left of the movie (only a couple of days but still) so it has lost its momentum for me. Well the movie is at least morbidly humorous, and there’s that disturbing musical number  at the end which to me had no business being in there and ruined anything I enjoyed about the movie. lost momentum grade D

Suspiria

1977 R 1:38 minutes by Dario Argento A talented Ameican Balleterina goes to a European ballet school but there realizes that there’s something Freaky going on (Maggot shower anyone?). It’s a bit artsy at least as far as set designs go that is. I think I have seen this before but not one scene in it has jogged my memory, so it’s like I’m watching it for the first time, but feeling as if I have watched it before and the deja vu feeling dangling over me that I already have seen it. Well if I really did then for me there was nbothing at all memorable. D

Exodus:Gods & Kings:

2014 PG13 2 1/2 hours! starring Christian Bale as Moses and Joel Edgerton as Ramses

I love pretty much anything egyptian (especially that Lapis Lazuli stone) and Joel Edgerton in guyliner I couldn’t help chuckle when I first saw him in the trailer. I just had to watch him as an Egytpian pharoh, esp. with the head dress on that makes them look like a cobra. I’m not in the same belief system as what the movie portrays so this is for Joel and hopefully some entertainment. The (Egytptian) costumes are beautfully inspired and I nearly drooled when I saw the sword scabbard made of what looked like all Lapis Lazuli. The Jewelry looks like they took it out of museums.

A half hour has passed and it felt like an hour, so I think this one is gonna feel longer than 2 1/2-3 hours long! It was boring and cliche jsut one plauge after the next, though the frogs I had a laugh, at because of a prank played on someone while camping. The action isn’t exciting either and that end part with the tsunami…. was the only cool part (and effect) Oh wait there was one other cool part, how the sea turned red! but aside from those moments really I could have done without the movie. D

Animals- 2008 Says NOT rated but I’d say an R 1 hr 33 minutes stars Marc Blucas (remember Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Boyfriend Riley Finn from 99-2002 seasons?) Nicki Aycox Naveen Andrews (yes from Lost) & Eva Amurri Martino

Marc plays Jarret who is sick of the rut same thing everyday for the rest of your life. When a woman enters the bar that’ll spice up his life and DNA. I’ve seen this before (I’m guessing I either saw it under a different title or it wasn’t memorable enough to remember the title!) D
The Small screen version of SCREAM out June 30 on MTV centers around a Youtube video gone viral,that is the catalyst for a murder putting the Lakewood teens in danger beacsue of the history of the town. This killer partyhas 7 of MTv’s stars 2 of which are Teen Wolf‘s Holland Roden and Tyler Posey

Avengers 2:Age of Ultron

The Box Trolls-

1;30 G 2014 It looks like Claymation but 2 dimensional. I think I saw a making of when they were making the characters (skulpting them) but I doubt this is full claymation. I think some CG was used on top of whatever Claymation they did (if anything other than just sculpting the characters) It looks like someone took a stray blue & red pencil & put lines on the characters faces in spots it wasn’t needed. (and if they were supposed to be veins, they are not that dark, they didn’t highlight either. I think it’s safe to say there’s a bit of steampunk to the movie as well, but then I’m not an expert in that fare. There were a couple of parts (more like character) that would give me a chuckle here and there but aside from that I was pretty disappointed dreamworks or was it Pixar? are usually better than that. D

April 

Kidnapping Mr. Heineken-

2015   R   1:35  * Anthony Hopkins, Sam Worthington Ryan Kwanten  & Jim Sturges    {Based on a true story }

Jim Sturges leads a Brazen kidnapping of the beer magnate Alfred “Freddy’ Heineken  in November of 1983 made world headlines with his abductors making the highest ransome emand in history. The lead up was interesting, Thrilling and maybe even a bit suspenseful. I was rooting for them to get away with the whole business of it. Once they get the money (or maybe jsut before) I think it lost some steam. Hopkins I am guessing is in a sort of quasi retirement as the movies I’ve seen him in he seems to take on where he may be a major co-star  the amount of time he’s in the movies is  more minor co-star (think along the lines of Part time work). The film is a thriller with a low key vibe but Fizzles out. C

The Babadook

2014 NR 1:33

Tip: unlike I did, watch it at night with all the lights off, then it should hopefully be scary or at least creepy

a creepy kids book shows up on the boy’s book shelf; you can tell it does not look familiar to the mother, who starts to read it to her son and stops to look to see what happens before reading aloud the rest. (well really it’s what you are supposed to do with anything for kids especially if you are not familiar with it and the first few pictures look like that)

As most seem to call him ‘the boy’ (honestly I can’t remember the kid’s name) has some behavioral issues (he needs some sort of punishment to set him right, then maybe he won’t throw so many tantrums) The Babadook character itself is a boogie man of sorts (and I swear the next creepy halloween costume especially if I put it together! especially finding or making a top hat. I wonder if anyone will show at my door looking like that… BEWARE KIDS! (and parents… the babadook may come for you this year!) aside from the child’s behavior the movie isn’t scary, creepy may be for some C

Video Availability via Amazon The Babadook (Special Edition) [Deluxe Packaging]  I think i have heard an actual book was made as well but

http://lynncinnamon.com/2014/12/babadook-tale-nightmare-grief/

Jinn

2014 PG-13 1:37

nine minutes in and so far it’s just religious stuff also some subtitles (but they are not through the whole movie)

So Gabriel ( a clue that he’s an angel … or so from the name) some realy cheesy ‘sword’ (if you want to call it that) weilding

the guy has to do some sort of test which seems like one of those Native indian spirit quest, but after a time I don’t know if he’s still in it or not. Well some of it was cool for a time but lost the bait toward the end there (maybe 7-10 minutes too long) D

Chef

2014 R 1:55

a once ‘edgy’ chef now is called safe by a food blogger who gave him 2* stars. Oh man he’s making spegetti with garlic.. what’s in the frige? Left over of the same so I’m going to go heat it up with some extra garlic and have some lunch.. be right back. During the movie he tried to juggle his life the cooking, the kid etc. After this review he finds out it went viral and has his son sign him up on twitter, a bit of trouble follows as he tweets to the critic. Oh I didn’t know Robert Downey Jr. was in this. Anyway he gets a food truck that’s a hit thanks to his son’s social media posts along the way as they bond on the road. Apparently somewhere between the food truck & the end… family fences have been mended. I thought this was supposed to be a comedy, the only thing I laughed at was a few of John Leguizamo’s parts so not enough ‘comedy’ to call it such C+

The Drop

2014 R 1:46 starring Tom Hardy James Gandolfini & Noomi Rapace

working at his cousin’s bar that gangsters use as a drop – {or Drop Joint…a place used as cover for illegal matter} for laundering money. The money from the last disappears and the chechin mob is circling like sharks. Cousin Marv (Gandolfini) thinks there are people following he and his cousin Bob. Meanwhile Bob comes across a cute little beat up pitbull puppy in Nadia’s garbage can. (I’m not one for pits but this little guy will win you over!) Now he’s got Eric Deeds in his face that it’s his dog etc. Eric Deeds supposedly killed some kid in the past. To me, this is the real story of the movie, as it comes to a head (during the night of the Super Bowl) it gets more intense and suspenseful; what will the seemingly sweet (and maybe not all the smart) Bob do? I’d say the ending was best (and frankly I would love to be the one to do that to a certain someone who in ’95 put a kitten in a mailbox..the kidn you mail out.. when I walked past it I heard the kitten meow. Sadly mom wouldn’t let me keep it, it was so traumatized every house that adopted it brought it back. I say this is because I was the one to save him and looking like iwas making a felony with my arm down the mailbox to pet him well what do you think?) So I cheered at the end! B

The Uninvited

1944 NR 1:39

Being as it’s an older movie I can never figure out how to grade them. Some are easy to watch, others are a chore. This wasn’t bad. A bit of a ghost story but well the ghost I can’t figure out how they did the FX for it. (Which to me is a good thing! I hate when I can figure it out) The usual girl in distress, making her seem crazy and so on. I love the house like the woman in the movie did. Oh the stair case! and the studio I’d like for myself Craft room! My dad watched it he didn’t like it but as far as i go I guess I can give it a C as it wasn’t excruciating to watch.

Dolphin Tale 2-

Laughing at the pick Pocket Pelican (say that 5x fast!) There’s a cameo from a certain surfer. A nice movie for the entire family though a bit sad in the beginning so be sure to watch with the kiddies (it made me cry a bit too). Oh My littly baby dolphin alert! Hope is so cute! I’ve never seen one that small before. The movie shows some of the rescues portrayed in it before and and after the movie which I thought was cool. Very Touching B Want to see the real winter? go on SEEWINTER.COM

Joyride 3: Road Kill

2014 R 1:35

Well that was a cool opening & GORE! too bad the rest of the movie followed! Trucker Rusty Nail is up to his old tricks again and I think some litteral (unless I saw ‘that’ done in another movie) 50 minutes in so far the best part is the opening stunt. I liked the kid’s spunk when he gets pissed and they think they (all puns intended) put the Nail in Rusty (or Rusty Nail) in his coffin for some reason I think otherwise. This franchise has become tame. The first 2 were better they need to stop making them (or wait 5-10 years and get some fresh writers or new studio or something.) D-

The Flintstones & WWE: Stoneage Smackdown

2015 Not Rated 50 Minutes The names are enough to give you a laugh! john CENAstone, CM PunkRockNicki & Brie boulder Daniel BryRock, Ray Mysterio becomes MysteriOPAL and Mr MC Mahon is Mc Magma while The Underaker remains untouched.

Oh yes hoppy that kangaroo (hopasaurus) is in this. (Was so underused in the original cartoons!) I don’t like that they make Punk out to be a bully though. Now I love the Flintstones and still watch on Boomarang network at night when I’m up for it. I Don’t care for the overly bright contrast or color tones of the new cartoons they come off as obnoxious to me, nordo I care for the use of a computer (maybe I woulnd’t mind if it weren’t overused. just used to accent certain bits of a scene or something) This is always my worry in watching a remake of a cartoon be it an animated television series remake or making a movie of a classic beloved favorite.

I do have to say I give them credit overall on everything! It wasn’t a blight on the flintstones (except for maybe a couple of the voices I think Wilma’s and/or Bettys was not quite right.) …Yeah Bam-Bam… Ooops sorry.. writing while I watch I do have to say the story and fun out weighed the brightness and anything I didn’t care for in the picture. I even watched the special features! 2 of which include old episodes “Take me out ot the ball game and The Engagement ring’ which I don’t think I ever saw before! There’s also a feature how to be a stoneage superstar and the suerstars of the FFE (Fred Flintstone entertainment) B

Basket Case

1982 Not Rated 1 hour 29 minutes

AFter Duane is seperated from his deformed conjoined twin Belial as a young teen, he rescues his seperated twin who is left for dead in the trash pile. The 2 go on a vengeful murder spree that does not end happily.

definately a dated film (this might be a good one to do a remake of) the acting is somewhat bad, and that as well as the FX are campy (and maybe even for that tiem they may have been!) C-

 Never Lake- 

2012    Not Rated   1 hour 26 minutes  Horror 

On vacation from school to visit her father Doctor Brook in Tuscany,  Jenny meets some children with peculiar injuries  who say the adults are bad. Jenny is also having strange visions, like finding  herself in the middle of a lake with blood on her hands and dripping into the lake. The ‘intro’ looks like the woods of a dark fairy tale. The father seems to avoid or or at least try to keep his distance, and that Olga lady looks like for lack of a better term a Witch (and I don’t mean a nice one either). There’s a twist to this tale which I appreciated  and was surprised at.  I thought the movie was just going to turn into some sort of torture porn. Turns out the Lake is real and an actual important Archeological site! it can be found near Arezzo Tuscany. Numerous Bronze Human figures and anatomy produced by the Etruscans were found here and are in the ‘most important’ museums all over the world.    C

 

Reverb- 

2008  Not Rates 1hr & 24 minutes   ‘Horror’ mystery 

Locked in a recording studio, Alex’s friend discovers an anomaly in part of a recording. A voice maybe, and using a hand recorder our heroine captures something from within the room and nothing is playing! Weird calls when no one other than them are in the building. A musician killed himself somewhere int he building that may be possessing our star. There’s some really cool tunes One of which sounds familiar (of course the one he’s working on) The Lyrics even sound familiar but why? I have never seen this movie before, so the weirdness isn’t only in the movie! I don’t recall a haunted studio in a movie before,  so this seems different though not fully original. One scary thing about a haunting (esp. with e melevolant (evil) spirit is..

There is that frequency that is supposed to make your ears bleed &  There’s one that is 7 or 8 (i forget if it’s) mega hertz or Killahertz but as far as one movie I’ve seen portrays you are supposed to ‘die’ for a short time but come back sort of like astral projection. It felt a bit long but that could be cause i had to keep getting up (it was the holiday)  C- 

 

Horrible Bosses 2-

2014  Rated R  1hour & 48 minuites.

The opening scene is a weather reporter  with his forecast, as he sends it over to the Anchorsto go to the next segment what fake ditzy sounding laughing  I do hope they were supposed to act ‘bad’ (and the laughs sounded quite forced) Then on to the shower buddy segment, which didn’t last long and failed. Dale played by Charlie Day reminds me of Bobcat Goldthwaid well the way he sounds I mean. Chris Pine as Rex is a freaking Lunatic! Kevin Spacey was funny in his role a bit scary maybe as well. Then Christoph Waltz which I was surprised to see him in a comedy for some reason. My favorite part, there’s a funny bit toward the end with the chase and a fence.  Gag reel at the end.  I found the movie lacking in ways, maybe they edited out a few parts that should have been in. We need to help poor Dale file a complaint against Jennifer Aniston’s character she is seriously creepy as a Nympho. The movie wasn’t that good (I think the original was funnier and better) this one didn’t have the charm and as I said was missing something I can’t place maybe depth, but why would I think that for a comedy? . Chris Pine great performance as Rex.  but overall D

the-deaths-of-ian-stone/

March 2015

Fear Clinic 

2014  R  1 1/2 hours  Imdb

Directed and co-written by Robert hall (I swear he reminds me of Max Chmerkovskiy (sp?) of Dancing with the stars) 

starring Robert Englund as Dr. Andover   Corey Taylor (yes of Slipknot) plays orderly Bauer   and Thomas Dekker.

Dr. Andover  uses a metal ‘coffin’ to fully emerse his patients into their fears. Dekker’s character is bound to a wheel chair after the groups mutual trauma. I’m not sure what to make of this. I suppose for some it might be scary (at least a certain cahracter they shows up and blink and you miss them parts) and oh look ‘Freddy’ (Robert Englund)  is having a nightmare.. oh the irony! 

Has a cool soundtrack (well as long as you like rock or metal music) and there’s some inside joke for certain fans.. I didn’t hate it nor did I find it anything other than Ok Oh and I think it was based on a web series… (never saw) C

The Right Kind of Wrong

2013      R      1:37    stars Ryan Kwanten Sara Canning & Ryan McPartlin  on imdb and then there’s the gus who play the ‘Troys’ Something Woods and the other  Christopher Russell  I’ll be dreaming of for at least a week. 

A wife is writing a blog on how her husband sucks. The credits are in social media format which I thought was cool and original. The blog becomes a hit and hits the national (or is it international) news, and a book release!~

Ryan (the Husband) and his deer caught in headlights looks starts to pursue a woman on her wedding day! It’s charming, funny and entertainment with ups and downs and with  characters that evolve!

Birdman-

2014      R      2 hours    stars   Michael Keaton, Edward Norton, Emma Stone

is a dramedy

So Birdman 0r the Unexpected  Virtue of Ingnorance so  my guess is that the 2nd title is that for the play maybe?

Zach Galifianakis plays his agent or something… and Keaton’s hair looks funny  ah that’s the reason. He’s got some voice in his head, that of which I guess is his Birdman character talk about having a midlife crisis. 

Edwawrd Norton comes to fill in the role of the lead in the play and acts like a total jerk.  I’m guessing this won an Oscar, for the fact it was a bore, as you can half watch it and still know what’s going on. A GOOD movie should keep one’s attention.  I do give it Noms for Performances,and screenplay, those were definitely worth awards. It sort of gives you an inside look at what (might) go on during a play.

Ok 2 scenes I did not need to see.. Norton & Keaton in their underwear… though Keaton’s one running through Times square in said Tighty Whiteys was snicker inducing (& not the candy bar!) My feelings are mixed it’s not a great movie but worth at least a half watch. Oh and that critic is an ass! which at that point did not even see the show and she’s already doing her write up on it, that she’s going to do a bad write up on it.  That is jsut one reason I write my own reviews as some of the reviews I’ve read in the past, I thought the reviewer (esp. that of the Daily news) did the same thing. They write snooty bias reviews. If it’s not their favorite type of movie or they compare it to others into the ground. Reviews written by the critics aren’t for us ‘average’ joes. The only reviews i take into account before seeing a movie (but Usually don’t read them unless it will be awhile before I get to) are those from Entertainment weekly.  There’s been plenty of times I didn’t even look at their rating for the movie before I saw it and when I wrote my review or at least thought of my grade for it first… it was pretty much the same or close.. like a C- or C+ when they gave it a C)  Which is what I give this movie a C    

The ABCs of Death part 2  review

Europa Report

2013 PG-13 1:30  I think I saw Sharlto Copely (of District 9)  a Sci-fi found footage docu type. For the first time astronauts travel to deep space to a moon of Jupiter (which is mostly ice). When something happens to video communiation  the crew members see some light (like those glow worms the blue phospherous like in caves (this one from new Zealand) & occasionally wash ashore in certain countries. However when this happens the ice starts to crack and radiation spikes. I found it interesting, maybe a bit different from the found footage though we get a decent climax to the movie at the end. The lead up was somewhat worth it and the mission end game, though they don’t know it I think was a success as the climax is the payoff but not as cool…  I’ll just say Pacific Rim’s were WAY cooler! This think looked like something I think from Skyline. C Click to order from Amazon Europa Report 

I, Origins

2014 NR 1:47 A molecular biologist encounters a woman who can prove his theory. oh Look it’s ‘Glen’ from The Walking Dead. So far I’m bored and it’s 35 minutes in but the lab assistant found the PAX-7 (?) criteria needed to do the experiment. 45 minutes in an unfortunate accident happens (somewhat shocking!) and we forward ahead. Now things get interestng (honestly If I had known better I likely would have forwarded through the first hour. Seems as though what his ‘wife’ said about reincarnation may be true as Ian (the MB) and Karen’s son seems to have the same pattern in his eye as a dead man, which is supposed to be impossible (the eye pattern I mean, they are like finger prints none alike). THey also find Ian’s friend Sophie’s eyes were recently scanned a few months ago (and she’s dead) Beginning F last half or so I’d say a C+ . FOr me it was an original storyline but they should have cut 15 minutes of the beginning and add a bit more to elaborate on the end So C- ORder from Amazon I Origins 

Jessabelle

2014  PG-13  1hr 40 minutes  After moving out of the house on the way to start a new life Jessabelle and her boyfriend are in a car accident. ‘T-boned’ by a trailer on the driver’s side, Jessabelle survives but is not able to walk. She has to stay with her estranged father in Louisianna where she experiences what she thinks are nightmares.  It’s basically the cliched sick/Injured storyline and they experience an ‘haunting’ of some form.  (the only other version would be, they suspect someone of murder and it turns out to be a big misunderstanding)  Friends or family think they are crazy because they are couped up all day. There’s more to this than I thought but still a cliche, she’s been voodooed in a way. For around an hour and a half it felt a bit long  C- Order via Amazon Jessabelle 

A million ways to die in the west

Wow there are alot more people in this than I knew! Liam Neeson, Seth MacFarlane Neil Patrick Harris, Giovani Rimbisi & Sarah Silverman among others and a surprise one or 2 cameos (one is a blink & you’ll miss)  Western 1882 Arizona. “You shouldn’t Drink and Horse” (smirks)  The Mustache song was possibly the only highlight of the movie and a certain cameo of a sort of ‘mad’ scientist as well. Otherwise they showed all the best parts int he trailer (can’t they just use ONE of them & that’s it?) There are at least one or 2 good parts  but i can understand why it got bad reviews D

Ouija

as always they call it a ‘Game’ when you ‘play’ it and not take it seriously is when you get bad spirits,. Sometimes even when you are serious and know perfectly well what you are doing, they still come through.

Here’s a few links with the rules (some are legitimate and others are so-so )

http://www.ghostwalks.com/ouijahowto-article.htm * http://www.theparanormal.me/2012/04/ouija-board-rules-how-to-‘play’-ouija.html This is the best to ref. to http://www.dragonoak.com/Ouija-Board-Instructions.html  Sadly at this moment I cannot find the right site I had previously noted within my blog post (or pages).

There were a couple parts that made me jump, and I don’t usually get scared let alone jump from a cheap scare.  

 The psychic from Insidious is in this.  I had a laugh when the girl went into the attic with a flash light, when she passed a perfectly good lantern that was on the table in the room she passed. (Dumbass)  and of course there has to be a creepy boiler (um waiting for Freddy Kreuger to show up! cause that was all I could think of when I saw it! and why I don’t like basements.. hey I lived a street or 2 from Elm St.)  So not much of a climatic ending, a bit disappointed really. Based on this & the Ouija Experiment which  I gave a C to and was sort of found footage/documentary like. This one you find out who or what (however yhou want to put it)  is doing the haunting and why. The movie is ok, worth at least a watch for entertainment purposes  and I was glad I saw it as a rental instead of seeing it in the theater (I wouldn’t have been happy with the money I paid, good thing the Movie Gods prevented me from seeing it. I think the times it was starting were never one I could get to   C-

Brick Mansions-

American Remake of District 13 (I think ) from France which stars the original actor David Belle with Paul walker  and RZA. This is supposed to take place in Detroit  and DAMN from the first five minutes it looks like (from  what I can remember) a full on copy of the original (hello Hollywood! That’s how you Do a a foreign top American Remake!)  There’s also a sequel to the french movie I’ll see if I can include them here with Netflix Links   D-13  & D-13 Ultimatum  if you don’t have netflix.. I’ll include a link to the movie(s) at the end of the post. Oh a little fact I found on IMBD.com star David Belle is noted as the  founder of Parkour action.  There are some differences or at least I don’t remember from the original (but I could be wrong)  Walker’s Cop character’s watch gadget. When we first see Paul, I thought he looked weird for some reason. Something not right about him His hair and his eyes look darker I think.  I know he finished making this one, it’s in Fast & Furious 7 that Walker’s brothers filled in for him So i eventually just brushed it off as i was seeing things. Then AH i called it, he had contacts on & coloring in his hair. That ‘Giant’ guy I definitely remember from the original movies. Defintately the Best Fights, or at least the most fun to watch, as well as remake.(Foreign to American)  A

Coherence-

2013 Not Rated 1 hour & 29 minutes

Starring Nicolas brendan (aka Xander from the Buffy the Vampire Slayer series)  Our characters take a trip into the Twilight Zone when Haley’s comet passes over. Weird phenomena happens like cell phone screens break for no reason even when no one is near. Physics also have to do with this and we end up with a bit of a confused gathering. D  Don’t waste your time

February 2015

American Sniper-

short and ‘sweet’ I don’t have much to say except 1. Glad I didn’t see this in the theater. 2. It’s not Zero Dark thirty or Lone Survivor. I felt not a thing from this movie. I hope that at least some of the money from it went to his widow or some Disable Vets fund. The only Highlight was the rooftop sniper vs sniper who’s gonna shoot who 1st (& damn I called it before i even knew so somewhat Predictable) D

 Edge of Tomorrow

was on over the weekend and I still had yet to see it so Finally caught it, though in the same part that I started to watch the last time. At times I get a bit confused as sometimes there seems to be a hiccup; we’ll see him die at one point and right away it goes Right back  to that point. I know he’s supposed to be able to get redos on what goes on but whatever.. maybe I still jsut need to get the rhythm of the movie. Well for a bit there I never thought we’d get out of the part where tehy end up on the beach, then the training part it’s like listening to a scratched Vinyl, only the repeat ends up a little different. The creatures called Mimics are kind of cool but the Kiju’s of Pacific Rm were so much better & really BAD-ass (scary) These are not. They just look like some dudes in suits (though CG effects) with dreadlocks. Oh NO they didn’t. In a way this rips of Pacific Rim, only instead of having ‘the bridge’,  in this is ‘The Omega’. So kiddies Don’t get Alpha Mimick blood on you, otherwise you will have the worst case of Deja Vu and will go Ground Hog Day  infinitly until your blood gets diluted or bleed out. THe action is ok though D

John Wick

starring Keanu Reeves 2014 Rated R 1hour & 40 minutes

yeah my favorite (well one of them) 90s action star is back!  Loving the ’69 Mustang  growls like a lion! Oh don’t go after the puppy (& this is the reason why I have a couple knives & Hockey sticks at hand and am pretty resourceful of how to use things that you may not think could be used as a weapon in an emergency!  Trust me you WON’T want to the idiot who breaks into my house!) Oh someone that was in Game of Thrones is in this (all I can tell you is he got mutilated in a way I don’t think I can mention here)  I don’t remember the character’s name but he grew up in the Stark house (or something like that & is not a Stark)  2 lessons here 1. Don’t mess with a man’s dog & 2. If the head of the Russian mob is afraid of someone, they are Baaaaad ASS and Run as soon as you hear they are coming for you) I like the way they did the subtitles when the Russian’s are speaking but I wish they would leave the darn things on about 3-5 seconds longer! (was this based on a comic book?) Plenty of action cool movie &oh look there’s another that’s stalking/haunting me! B

 The Interview-

Something tells me I’m going to regret watching this. I don’t like James Franco (I really can’t stand him & his monotone acting) oooh a *** (won’t ruin) Cameo! In opening, a music number that I’m guessing is supposed to come off as funny, fall flat and is insulting. Then we have the ‘Skylark’ (Franco) show, as usual Franco plays an idiot I will say though I did have a laugh when the like ‘Peanut Butter & JELousY’ came out of his mouth. I actually involuntarily laughed at one of their jokes for once! (OMG The world’s going to end, wait wrong movie & saw that & it was lousy) Has Franco played anything other than an idiot in a movie? (like a serious character be it in a drama or comedy .. now him being a serious character in a comedy just might actually be funny! cause frankly no mater what his acting always comes off as wooden to me, so I’m thinking he should be a serious character maybe that will help him out. ) Oh The N. Korean Leader is played by the actor that plays the dad in the new comedy Fresh off the Boat on ABC (Tuesdays I think)  The movie has a cool soundtrack at least. So about an hour in I think I see why the Koreans were up in arms about it and supposedly going to bomb theaters. Threat reason #2 I think may have been the interview itself, when he went off script, he made ‘Kim’ look bad.  I thought I was going to end up giving this an F from all the B.S. I heard. Now I am thinking that it was all a publicity ploy. It’s not as bad  as they made it out to be, though not uproariously funny it does have a few parts i found surprisingly funny, For instance, ‘Tank Bonding’. I normally try to avoid the movies of these 2 but and it. hurts. to. say. this…. I DON’T regret watching it. it was entertaining, & yes stupid in parts that really should have been edited out or have a different gag in but C-

Life after Beth-

2014 Rated R

Zack’s girlfriend dies of a snake bite while out hiking. A few days later, she comes back (little to his knowledge) seemingly normal at first but then starts to get moody, ‘Crangry’ Much? Other people start acting weird and looking a bit grey. Unfortunately it’s not original  but yet a  RomZomCom isn’t always done.  There’s a few amusing parts, but the show zNation is funnier if you can catch it. C

V/H/S: Viral-

2014 Rated R 1 hour and 20 Minnutes

I don’t remember if I saw the earlier installments of this  franchise, I think I might have seen one but I don’t remember it if I did!  This installment I think I can see why I forgot about seeing a previous one! The label on the rental says a group of teens become internet celebrities after a car chase. Well there is a car chase but I don’t recall the guy becoming famous in the movie! basically it’s an anthology (different ‘short’ stories)  of mini movies and I think they center on that chase (I think they are supposed to coincide  where the bicyclist recording the chase is in the city, then we see what’s going on in that area or so my theory goes)  I liked the one with the magician, and if there’s a cloak really like Forget about Harry Potters Invisibility one… There’s also a skateboarding one that the make-up FX  was pretty cool, I’ll just say skele cult~ reminded me of Tales from the Crypt comic & tv show a bit! So those make-up artists have hope for maybe getting on the Walking Dead crew or they better hope for some Tales From the Crypt remakes!   think it was a total of 5 stories together, and frankly I should have known better!  Watch or rent something you KNOW you already like! F

 Dracula Untold review Post

needle  review post

Witching and Bitching –

2013 NR (Not Rated)  1 hr 50 min  Foreign (Spanish?)

Well definitely not for the kids though some parents might love to just watch the beginning, Sponge Bob gets offed! (Loved that! and I’m not even a parent!) There’s other ‘mascots’ like a toy soldier, a silver jesus, and quite the poor imitation of Minnie & Mickey Mouse. I’m thinking this is supposed to be some sort of comedy (well on Netflix it’s listed as Action adventure but… No that’s not right. a quick check on IMDB and it says a comedy Horror. (Yeah the Horror is the trauma from the thing you will see at the end UGH! It is funny but then there are parts I found just flat out stupid. The last few minutes were just really annoying to me, and traumatic  (in more ways than one) by that I mean the ‘monster’ Goddess whatever that was it’ll give you PTSD nightmares at least for a week! The witch part was insulting (we are not all evil and certainly do not go Baba yagga  or Hansel & Gretel on the kids!)  C-

Beneath-

2014 Not Rated 1 hr& 29 minutes

On miner George Marsh’s last day before retirement he and the crew take his daughter 600 feet below to give her a tour of the cavernous tunnels. A couple of the guys ‘break’ the mountain finding a claustrophobic pathway to an old tunnel from 1927, when 19 people were left after a cave in because all they had then were pickax & Donkeys  and so the spirits of the 19 are released.  Sam Marsh (the Daughter) keeps seeing things like the crew having a grayish pallor  with  dead blue eyes. I don’t like comparing movies but to give you sort of an idea, it’s sort of  like the Cave.  I did like this better than that & the Decent.  I do wonder one thing,  if those ‘safe houses’ for miners really do exist, I do hope the oxygen tanks aren’t really on the outside I mean if there’s a cave in, in the area of it then good bye tanks! Also wouldn’t they be able to get crushed as well?  C+

Locke– ** Tom Hardy Rated R 1 hr & 20 minutes.

Tim Plays Ivan Locke who is on a drive to London and during a career changing moment makes a decision that will cost  him everything.  It’s a bore!!!! I figured it would be but hey it’s Tom Hardy and I guess I was greatly hoping there would be more than just him in a car talking on the phone. WRONG!!! It’s like Phone booth only at least that had some story & action to it.  If I ever got that amount of calls in (what seemed like) a short time I think I’d break the phone & and any others i came across.  No accidents for talking or texting while driving  This was like watching a reality tv show  without the drama and just any ol’ highway anywhere in the world.  F

The Real Vikings Collection

(2013) NO this is on the awesome show on History it’s supposed to be an educational documentary about them. The first program (yes there’s a few but you can choose to watch all or just watch one at a time when you have the time) has that guy from Home Improvement (not Tim Allen the co-host of Tool time… ) So far i can’t take this seriusly but at least of what I know sounds about right. Minus wearing the helmets. I’ve read where if they did it wasn’t many unless they were in that army (which I can’t think of how to spell at the moment) C

Horns

** Daniel Radcliff   a Dark comedy/mystery  Ironically… Iggy Parish (Radcliff) drives a Gremlin the car.. that barely exists as there were many recalls on them. Gotta love the sarcasm (at least the part I took as such). Iggy is accused (falsely) of Killing his girlfriend. The couple ‘argued’ a bit the night before at the diner. Apparently everyone calling Iggy evil and the devil in this small town has possibly made him become ‘evil’ even though he doesn’t seem as such but he does have the power of persuasion (or so it seems at first, & he doesn’t realize it)  He eventually tried to use this to find out who it was that really killed her. I had an idea of who but wasn’t really sure. When this persuasive nature starts people start telling him some dark secrets they did or what they’d like to really do etc. OF course it’s the Revenge to avenge someone bit. This is a bit of a new twist even though there’s religious B.S. in it but I’d say a C+ – B

Willow Creek

1 hour & 20 minutes  a couple heads into the Northern California wilderness to track down the legend Bigfoot and of course film their adventure interviewing locals along the way. This was written & directed by bobcat Goldthwait & frankly it sucks! he needs another Police Academy movie if he could swing it,  (I think he peeked in those, I can’t remember him in anything else!)  & give me the time back. I swear I wish I had a time machine to go back & prevent Blair Witch Project from ever happening so that crap like this wouldn’t be made. Once in a blue mood maybe a good one comes out but that’s like a 1 out of 50 (or more) and if not good at least somewhat believable. it would have been nice to at least see a creature some actual fur on a person. (hell use one of the costumes that was made on Face-off that had fur on it! Instead of wasting your time with this, find another movie or do something productive like make something (crafts, Write or read! or just go back to work!)

The Giver

Pg-13 1 hr 34 minutes

A stuffy future society called ‘The Community’ that to me seems worse (& sounds creepier) than some post apocalyptic version doom & gloom version (frankly I swear it’s a futuristic ‘Stepford’ family instead of just the wife) The good thing about this future is no longer does disease, Pain or war exist, however the bad side is there’s no free will or individuality. There’s cmaeras everywhere including in your home! Jeff bridges stars as the Giver. There’s 5 rules to this society.

*Use precise language

Wear your assigned (!!) clothing

*Take your morning meds  (these are what keep the people compliant)

*Obey curfew &

*never lie

There are no memories of the past (other than those that Jeff Bridges harbors from his forebears) and there are no last names. Families I guess are arranged and children a born by mothers & given to families.  The Movie is mostly in Black and white which I think is pretty cool as it is used so little. I think it was used well in this case. An accent of color here or there shows up but as Jonah  comes to see more memories of the past, more color starts to show, though muted. oooh I didn’t know they were in this. A certain Bon Ton (true Blood) Vamp was in this!!! Also Katie Holmes and I’m sure the surprises won’t stop there. (I guess I really ignored the commercials when they were out but so far seems for the better and I really figured I’d check it out for my Awards show yes.. I have my own awards show!! The Avatar Awards so Stay tuned. They will happen a little later than previously Published! Instead of February 28th It may be the first week of march so stay tuned!  )    This seems like a more peaceful version of Divergent to me. By the end of the movie the colors are rich & vibrant. This was a nice change for once compared to the usual dark nasty landscapes of death . Oh wait the girl who plaid Rosemary was Taylor swift! As in the singer?  or are they 2 completely different people just with the same name? anyway … B

January 2015

Dead Snow 2 : Red Vs. Dead

rated R 1 1/2 to 2 hours

To start there were a few moments (one off the bat) that made me saw Ewwww and yell at the guy Don’t you see the dude his mouth looks like someone tried to smash it off , looks like he can’t be resuscitated did your nasty self really have to try CPR? I know your face is going to pay for that.  Oh surprise this one is in English!  Well there’s a malpractice suit right there. Couldn’t the doctor tell that wasn’t the right arm? Oh well  what do we learn in this? Zombies (well cursed ones) can be resourceful. I’ll just mention that this is at the Bus station. So Herzog and his men weren’t just cursed for that gold in the first, there is a mission they seem to have to finish. Martin (the remaining survivor from first movie.) has to defeat General Herzog and his zombARMi, how wll he do this? He has to make his own, the clue is in the 1st word of this line. I think this was made just to make more money. The original had suspense, it was great and I love watching it. This one is pretty much camp & just went for more gore. Now I love gore, but just in the right way.  I did like the bit about ‘This isn’t in any of the zombie movies; you created a whole new genre man” (this coming from the ‘Zombie Squad’ geek. Loved the Zombie triage scene. The movie isn’t really fun a ha or hee but not laughing funny.  Ewww ok the last 2-3 minutes of the movie is quite nauseating in a good and bad way…  D

Blitz-

2011  Rated R 1 hour & 37 minutes   starring Jason Statham with an appearance by Luke Evans some delinquents try stripping a car and Statham  teaches them a lesson  which seems to lead to cop killings. All I can say is its a typical Statham Film C-

The Guest-

2014 R 1 hour & 39 minutes  in Short & to the point.. Predictable. I figured the person was either not who he said he was, or didn’t know who he said he did or some flip twist. I will say however damn the man is quick with the blocks etc. Don’t Blink! It had its good points (what action there was) and bad. D-

As Above So Below –

Found footage format (or flash back) something about Nicolas Flammel (Harry potter fans will remember hearing the name from the first book) and the ROsetta Stone. This takes place in the catacombs of Paris. Odd things happen like being ‘turned around’ in a claustrophobic tunnel, the phone ringing & pretty much I think quite a few things they showed in the trailers. I wasn’t putting anything on this actually being a good movie but I thought if anything an adventure film.  I would liken it to the Goonies w/ a Horror twist (just trade the pirate ship for a haunted tunnel. However in the first 53 minutes I haven’t seen much horror. A mix of a mystical Menagerie from assorted cultures and times throughout the tunnels for clues (as to what ‘treasure’ if it wasn’t the rosetta stone… I don’t remember) In the 2nd hour the horror begins  A few moments that may make you jump (one did to me, or it could have been the volume)

‘Stone face’ well saw that coming Would have been better advertised as an adventure thriller thjen horror. The final Verdict?

These idiots who are supposed to be archeologists and those who go in the catacombs I noticed did not have (as far as I heard or saw)  No First aid kit, not everyone wore boots and that’s just 2 things. I’m not archeologist, or whatever you want to call ‘combing’ catacombs but I do know when you do crap like that those as well as head lamps & extras batteries should be with you!

As a Horror movie  (nothing different with the found footage & mostly predictable as well)    D

As an adventure thriller   C

Tusk

Based on actual events stars Justin Long as a podcast DJ (Journalist? not sure what to call those people) who travels to Canada for a story which is D.O.A. and now he needs to find a new story.

I have to say it.. he looks awful with that mustache, and was that Haley Joe Osmet as his sidekick?

AS someone who has traveled to Canada 4x (well Toronto anyway)  I find parts of this somewhat insulting (& I’m not even Canadian)  but some equally funny (There’s one set on a porch that the wood looks like plastic! It might be a trex or correct deck type product but still looks awful!) Well at least its not sickening like the Human Centipede. THough Kevin Smith is one sick puppy! I guess this is from a podcast of his ‘Smodcast’ no idea. I just know Clerks, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob & Comic Book Men. I’m not sure what to make of this movie but aside from that horrible Human Centipede I think I’ll give this one a B

Ragnarock

2014 Nordic Film

I love all that is Norse myth & Viking so  I was hoping this wasn’t going to be like that Gods awful insulting movie Dominick Prucell was in. I won’t go into it, I was boycotting it but only saw it as it was on syfy or chiller. I forget the name of the movie so you can stay away from it as it was so bad all around I bascially wanted to kill my tv & get rid f cable it was such a bad movie… (I nearly had to watch both sharknado’s again THAT was at least better than the awful one I’m talking about!) Oh Sorry about the babble..

Sigurd an archeologist finds a link between the Osenberg Viking Burial site and Ragnarok. The mast heads  of the long ships may have been that of a  real creature. At least that is the theory they come to in this movie, which many consider to be a dragon, ut I always thought of it being Jormungard the Midgard Serpent, which may also be known as an Ooroborus.

The party finds  something other than was expected. The kids have one hell of an adventure to tell their classmates when school starts again. ‘Scary’ but better than spain! (Ok I don’t remember why I noted that now)  Well with this maybe ‘nessie in Scotland is the true Midgard serpent of course if nessie isn’t a hoax which I hope she’s not. C+

Tamara Drewe

Comedy   Rated R 2010 1 hr 51 minutes Stars Gemma Arterton, Luke Evans, & Dominic Cooper Directed by Stephen Frears

A Journalist goes back to her tiny hometown after getting plastic surgery and a wardrobe makeover (Oh Hello Opening Scene, Luke Evans just made me feel better and woke me up)  She toys with people and breaks hearts. It’s based on err.. adapted from the comic strip by Posey Simmonds. (Which I’m guess from U.K.)

Worthy at least of a C

When the Game Stands Tall

PG  1 hr 55 minutes *s Jim Caveizel, ALexander Ludwig  2014

The Dela Salle Spartans  have a 151 -0 Win streak, will they come to know  what a loss feel like?

It’s definitely no Friday Night Lights (by that I mean the underrated Tv Series not the movie)

There’s really not much to write about typical Sports story & cliches  C

Earth to Echo

Shameless promo for the GoPro camera Think Goonies in a way (& more so than I mentioned about As above so below) here they are on Bikes, and go on a journey (or scavenger hunt pretty literally) to help ‘Echo’ the robot the parts it needs for it’s ship.

Love the little robot guy.. cute & why didn’t they make toys of him? (Like better then Wall-E) At least happy meal toys!  bet my cat would have had some fun with it esp. if it hoovered!  Great for the whole Fam C+

Blackhat

  • Chris Hemsworth  by Michael Mann

begins with a travel through the circuits of the computer as if  we were an executed  command. Hemsworth plays Hathaway a  hacker who when we meet is already in prison doing time and man what they go through just taking him out of his cell. Oh he’s found with some cell phone and during the interrogation about it is the one time I remember we get a laugh at a wise ass joke (which I won’t ruin for you) You have to love the character for the smart ass retort and get to the point answers besides his way or the highway negotiation skills.  The trailer made the movie like a good action thriller but there’s not many thrills as the only one or 2 I got was when Thor traded his hammer for tables (WWE TLC anyone?) & chairs and  Hemsworth with no shirt on. Not enough action either and what little there was,  was not good. Sure they had a P.O.V. angel so you felt in the action when they were running but the movie was more Ho-hum lean back & relax than edge of your seat film making worth $10.50 FOR A MATINEE!!! Thank goodness I had the movie Voucher and was able to use it cause that means I still have my Money for the Avengers movie!  Do not see in theater! Best to rent in some form or wait for it to be on Cable movie channels C- (& after writing this, my copy of Entertainment Weekly came and I see they gave it the same!)

 Into the Storm

The CG is good (if it’s all CG The coolest part to me was the firenado  near the church which was in the trailer)

There are parts that well Horror Movies don’t scare me  but what they have of these made me nervous and freaked me out a bit. I didn’t even like the 3.5 (or whatever it was) Earthquake we had here (Yonkers NY)  in the 80s! And is one of the reasons  I will likely never live anywhere other than the northeast Oh there’s two nut-job redneck ‘daredevils’ in this obviously placed for comedic relief but they come off more idiotic. I think I heard the movie didn’t do well with the box-office and or reviews  but the damn thing was intense and terrifying especially that last one. as for cinematography (be it some real shots from storm chasers etc) Was quite realistic looking (at least for me)  I Have to give that an A as for true storm chasers I think you are all bat shit crazy but a whole new level of respect (though ‘ya’ll’ is still crazy!)  I think I was holding my breath   in some parts, and had a faster pulse. Screw the critics this was more thrilling and horrifying than most if not all of what I watched in a couple years.    A Why? Because I was terrified and I don’t scare easily (p.s. prob. best watched via blu-ray)

The Maze runner

PG-13       2014     1 hour & 45 minutes  Wait Is that the Kid who played Peter Pan in Once upon a time? Funny that around 10 minute mark reminds me of the Once seen  with the bonfire and the lost boys as frankly all these ones in a sense are. Our main character ‘greenie’  wakes in a cage elevator not remembering who he is and so on. We are all clueless but even though I have not read the books, I can see somewhat where this is going. Some of the guys are getting stung when they go in the maze  but there’s no mention of by what and as soon as I finish writing that, i think we have an answer.  A metal sounding well cross between a spider (or Scorpion) with a bit of Orc mixed in. This was based on a book right? because it seems more like a video game, I enjoyed it until the end. The action and everything come to a halt so you are somewhat shell shocked as the kids which in a way is cool but now to me the series has lost momentum and the last 15 -30 minutes you just feel like slumping over like oh that yawn. B

Stonehearst Asylum

2014  PG-13  1 Hr. & 52 minutes  * Kate Beckensale, Ben Kingsley Brendan Gleeson Michael Caine Jim Sturgess

Based on an Edgar Allen Poe story, OMG it’s our Coo-coo Clock!  &  “Make a happy miserable man out of a perfectly happy horse”   Kingsley’s character’s quote on curing one of the patients. No idea what Genre this is supposed to be not exactly horror But regardless don’t bother. This sort has been done before, cliched & Predictable  

2 responses to “2015 Movie Archive

  1. Pingback: May DAY News | Multi-screen MO-T-Vision

  2. Pingback: Entertainment News, Reviews & Notes | Multi-screen MO-T-Vision

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