2014 Movie Reviews

seen in  December 2014

Snow Piercer – starring Chris Evans as the hero (why not wear the Captain america garb for this bleak dystopian train movie. Because of global warming a rocket is launched (I forget with what ) but it’s supposed to lower the temperature, which worked all too well and now the last survivors of earth live on a train. Chris’ character leads a revolution as tailies, and lowest class citizens of the train. The action is cool fast and tho it’s on one train  they have to get through the entire train which is definitely more than 20 cars  maybe even more than 50. I’d estimate at least 100!  This I think was an indy film, but still haven’t we had enough of the end of the world crap yet? I have; however this was a bit of a new twist for it for me. B

Stephen King’s IT– I feel like I’ve been duped. Is there another part to this? All this is is all build up and then that last scene!? NOT SCARY. It’s like someone didn’t come up with an ending.I sthis how the book ended as well? D

Malficent– I enjoyed this movie, and it brought to life all the parts I remember from the copy of  my book of Sleeping Beauty, only the dragon wasn’t black and purple and didn’t have that narrow head. This one was more fierce and scary but that’s the way a dragon should look.  There is a part or 2  I was disappointed with, and Angie played the dairy Malficent well.  C

Guardians of the Galaxy

I missed a bit but it was quite action packed. Some bits from the trailer are still funny. I think I actually liked Batista’s character in this. On First watch  B+

Blended– well that’s a whole new meaning for ‘Gel-in. “Monsteration’ had already watched the movie but watched a 2nd time and the jokes are still funny. Wow a  Rom-Com that’s  actually funny. Also not too mushy (well except for the …what do you call a male ‘cougar’)  The family can watch. B for best I’ve seen in a long time!

The Grand Seduction – (sounds like it should have a title like the Long con or one of the ones the show Leverage used to use.  stars Brendan Gleeson & Taylor Kitsch. The small town of (did I hear right?) Tickle’s fishing jobs have washed up and are trying to get a factory. For this they need a permanent resident doctor. So they put up a charade to woo Kitsch’s Dr. Paul  to stay. They manufacture quite  a few ways to get him to like the small ‘Harbor’ (town). They listen in on his conversations so they can find out what he likes and such (smal towns may be worse than big cities!)    C

The Hobbit: Battle of Five Armies  

Well ‘The Battle of five armies’ couldn’t have been a better title. I think that was most of the movie. I do however need a family tree for the elves & dwarves why because I want to know if Ironfoot (who has quite the hard head) is related to Gimli, or did Kili & Thuriel (sp?) explore their feelings for each other?   As for the last issue of Entertainment weekly I read with Stephen Colbert on it (did you know he was in the Desolation of Smaug with his wife & kids as a few citizens of Lake town?) They mention previous history mentioned in the Lord of the Rings films that i don’t remember being in the Hobbit, as well as history mentioned in the Hobbit that we don’t get to see (say a few tidbits about our fave Fair haired elf), why stop & 2 sets of movies, how about another set where we can explore that of which we don’t get to see. (also where are all the women dwarves?)

I think at least half the  2 1/2 hour film was the battle from various sides. I enjoyed it, and  don’t worry as you are not watching a cluster F**** of bodies just wailing on each other. There are some one on one fights and so on. I was quite amused at the ‘ice fight’ between Thorn & ugh what’s the name of the ork thing (?) with the missing arm.  There were at least 2 times I got a bit upset that I almost (or may have) shed a tear.  I still say something is off with the Legolas costume or make-up in this. Yes I know they probably made him look younger (if that was possible) but I’ll have to watch at least one of the LOTR movies to figure it out (Maybe the color of the contacts is wrong).  I haven’t read the books so I can’t make a comparison and frankly I think I’d rather wait, there have been some movies I’ve liked better than the book. I think the best book to movies series besides the Lord of the Rings & Hobbit (but remember I have not read, but I don’t hear much complaining either for those who have)  is Harry Potter. Thanks to the Return of the King I think I was left feeling empty being as there is just one ending not many here. It’s starts as one ends & ends as one starts! Which I think is pretty cool. I think another reason I might be a bit disappointed is aside from one or 2 shots, I didn’t get my wish of seeing Bard & Legolas side by side fighting. (Though we do get to see Luke Evans quite a bit. Would you believe for a time (when he wasn’t as known)  I thought he was Orlando Bloom. There were a few movies Luke was in that I thought it was Orly! One in which was 3 Musketeers which Orlando bloom plays a villian and Luke one of the Musketeers!)     A

 OH my that Ork I can’t remember the name of is freaking Manu Bennett aka Deathstroke on Arrow!

Outpost 3– Not sure why I watched this when I didn’t like the first one, and never watched the second. I must be really desperate for some visual entertainment that being it’s December, all the tv series are on hiatus. Just as I did with the first I lost interest after awhile. I think I got it for dad, as I think he liked the original. Nazi Zombies only this series is definitely no Dead Snow nor is the make-up Walking Dead grade. Though for some reason like the term ‘Fairy Vampire’ just sounding so silly and still gives me a laugh every time I hear it, Nazi Zombies is a close  2nd but the movie all D

The Appearing- a couple loses their daughter and move. On their first day there a teen goes missing and  the husband a cop has to go to work. The teen’s boyfriend is beyond traumatized and I think was in the nut house instead of jail. The woman whose child died is seeing a little girl that might not really be there.  Is it a ghost story?  Nope it’s yet another possession  movie and not a good one either D

Pontypol – That was somewhat cool in a way, even though it was sort of like phone booth (I didn’t like that movie)  only this was based in a raio station in the town of Pontypol Ontario and a disease spreads but cannot be cured with a drug. You don’t see anything of what goes on outside and I start thinking that maybe this is going to end up being a War of the Worlds radio broadcast type hoax at the end, and it all happens on a very snowy day. I enjoyed the suspense and the original idea on how the virus spreads, so for that B

The Ouija Experiment-  not to be confused with the 2014 release of Ouija  (which I may have done). FOur people sit down to use the ouija Board to see if it will work. One friend, films the event and Mike, whose ‘brilliant’ (note sarcasm) idea  this is tells them the rules (well 3 of them)  They are even corrected by a friend of the cameraman’s That you DO NOT ‘PLAY’ with the board. If you and especially the spirit do not say good-bye  you have left a portal open for all types of spirits (good and evil) to get through . Wasn’t bad, and has been done before but a good scare if you have a sleepover party   C

The November Man- 1 hr 45 minutes Action packed and wonder why Pierce Bronson is no longer Bond. (Guess they couldn’t afford him anymore) He’s still handsome and suave looking. Go figure maybe he got bored with the role.  I don’t recall a dull moment  in this film . The guy that plays his partner in the beginning will be playing Johnny Utah in the Point Break remake (or was it sequel , well whatever it is, either way yet another yummy Aussie  has come to play. WHere HAVE all the american action actors gone? Not that I’m complaining but it seems all the Aussies & Brits are getting those lately and P.s. I don’t count The Rock, or Batista as actors they’re posers to me)  Anyway it’s a B