Alien Covenant

2017    R    2:02  sci-fi  Horror  Blu-ray  Michael Fassbender

Easy and Simply belongs in a trash heap.. and am not wasting any more time with this thing than the next few lines.

The 2nd chapter in the Alien prequel trilogy.

The crew of the ship called Covenant’s paradise turns to hell and discovers that the lone survivor of Prometheus is the synthetic known as David.

The beginning is like watching passengers, let me tell you I had to double check the title cause I was experiencing some serious Deja vu~not to mention was just as humdrum of a bore.

Step on spores and the dust is sent flying into a character’s ear and digs in.

There’s nothing really memorable about it except drawings in a room


The Mummy

2017  PG13  1:50  Tom Cruise  Russel Crowe

Death is but a doorway to new life

We live today 

we shall live again

In many forms, shall we return

-Egyptian Prayer of resurrection


To start when this first was announced I thought oh no they are rebooting the Brendan Fraser/ ‘scorpion king’ series. Then when they announced it was the Universal and had Cruise attached that was a total turn off.


After Luke Evans etc did such a great job with Dracula Untold  WHY OH WHY would you ruin Universal Studios’ classics like this?!  Dear Boris Karloff is rolling over in his grave

First off Tom Cruise…ALL wrong for anything in the movie or the extended Universal reboot. Russell Crowe as Jekyll & Hyde, I thought was a fitting and would work. For me he did but I wish there was a little more of him in the movie.

The movie should have had another 30 something – early 40s and not someone that really needs to stay away from action movies now. Tom Cruise has lost a few steps and is wrong for them.

As for THE MUMMY itself, she didn’t even look like one. As soon as I saw the preview of the movie, I knew it would fail.

The movie starts in England 1127 where they entomb the Mummy (I forget her name but it doesn’t matter).

There are crusade knights in a burial chamber that reminds me of a chamber of bullets in as if a giant revolver.

A part I think was supposed to be humorous when we first see cruise falls flat on its face for the whole sequence.

For some reason, this gave me a chuckle. (I’m guessing it was the delivery that helped it)

If an air strike hits, don’t be on top of buildings

In this Dr. Henry Jekyll is a collector of ‘Supernatural Artifacts”  and runs Prodigium.  They should have made a Jekyll &  Hyde movie first besides Fiver Finger Death Punch has a cool song with that title that would fit quite nicely in a soundtrack for the movie!  Plus J & H doesn’t get as much ‘love’ as the other Classic Universal Monsters do.

There’s no spooky tone, or eerieness to this it is definitely NOT worthy of the Universal brand.

If Jekyll turns to Eddie Hyde why not make his hair all crazy looking at least to show the change, at least personality wise?  Instead of just how it was done. It didn’t look like much of a difference.


Skip this and just watch the original one with Boris or watch Dracula Untold. So glad I didn’t pay to see this in the theater


Assassins’ Creed

PG13   2016  Michael Fassbender, Marion Cotillard, Jeremy Irons

Did anyone who plays the game go see it?  did they like it? I don’t think I ever played the game but even I KNOW IT’s a garbage can full of SH** movie. Never thought I’d say this but Wonderwoman or Justice League MIGHT have been better to see than this and I’m boycotting those on principle until further notice. Damn! now I have to watch at least one of them just to see so.

There’s some big machine that is I guess in a sense supposed to be like the machine neo gets hooked up to in the Matrix only this thing is kinda badass as you sort of go back in time. It’s like a virtual reality gamer system and Fasbender is the player.

The only  things I liked about the movie was when the Hawk flew and the fight where they were ‘running’ across the laundry(?) lines.


The Reef

2010       R      1:28   blu-ray

Five friends  out on a yacht on the Great Barrier Reef grow weary with a sinking capsized boat in shark infested water.

I think I’ve seen this before (but its been so long) or its a remake of some other shark movie. I wasn’t thrilled about this one though. here’s not enough of story.

The people especially the girls were so stupid thrashing around or well maybe not thrashing you swim silently not splashing but then maybe they missed shark week cause if you panic the shark will think you are an injured fish not to mention swimming INTO the bloody water surrounding your friend that was just attacked. First off that damn shark is coming back to eat the other half of your friend and   Predators smell fear….makes you tastier!

Shark 4…Humans 1

(in Jaws theme)  BORE-dom    Bore-dom     boredom    boredom     boredom….

Skip this and watch the Blake Lively in The Shallows…be sure if you have a blu-ray player  (esp. if you have 4k or 3d tv ad blu-ray to get that! a standard DVD just wont do the scenery justice.


2009  R  1:37  ? Rom  com?  Drama  AShton Kutcher, Sebastian Stan, Margarita Leviva & Anne Hecht

Nikki (Kutcher) is a womanizer of older well off women who he targets to use for anything for some sexual favors. When he meets waitress Heather the player gets played as she knows all his tricks and uses them on him but he doesn’t seem to realize it until he moves ‘her’ car.

At first its a whole lot of the same thing then a bit of a switch bu the characters are one dimensional, uninteresting clods er Sluts (heck technically hookers) That’s only watching for an hour and 8 minutes. Have to fast forward ahead, though I was surprised to see Eric Balfour in a scene.

I’d say skip it its a waste of time and feels longer than the hour and a half it is. It’s like slow torture watching paint dry (actually THAT might be more entertaining!)


2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)



Don’t Breathe

2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art


Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.