The Reef


2010       R      1:28   blu-ray

Five friends  out on a yacht on the Great Barrier Reef grow weary with a sinking capsized boat in shark infested water.

I think I’ve seen this before (but its been so long) or its a remake of some other shark movie. I wasn’t thrilled about this one though. here’s not enough of story.

The people especially the girls were so stupid thrashing around or well maybe not thrashing you swim silently not splashing but then maybe they missed shark week cause if you panic the shark will think you are an injured fish not to mention swimming INTO the bloody water surrounding your friend that was just attacked. First off that damn shark is coming back to eat the other half of your friend and   Predators smell fear….makes you tastier!

Shark 4…Humans 1

(in Jaws theme)  BORE-dom    Bore-dom     boredom    boredom     boredom….

Skip this and watch the Blake Lively in The Shallows…be sure if you have a blu-ray player  (esp. if you have 4k or 3d tv ad blu-ray to get that! a standard DVD just wont do the scenery justice.

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Spread


2009  R  1:37  ? Rom  com?  Drama  AShton Kutcher, Sebastian Stan, Margarita Leviva & Anne Hecht

Nikki (Kutcher) is a womanizer of older well off women who he targets to use for anything for some sexual favors. When he meets waitress Heather the player gets played as she knows all his tricks and uses them on him but he doesn’t seem to realize it until he moves ‘her’ car.

At first its a whole lot of the same thing then a bit of a switch bu the characters are one dimensional, uninteresting clods er Sluts (heck technically hookers) That’s only watching for an hour and 8 minutes. Have to fast forward ahead, though I was surprised to see Eric Balfour in a scene.

I’d say skip it its a waste of time and feels longer than the hour and a half it is. It’s like slow torture watching paint dry (actually THAT might be more entertaining!)

Mojave


2015  R 1:33 blu-ray  Mark Wahlberg, Gerrit Headlund, Louise Bourgoin, Oscar issac

A taught thriller set in the Mojave desert while an artist seeks existential meaning he ends up in a cat and mousse game with a serial killer.

I didn’t have to write many notes or couldn’t think of anything to write about it so it’s not actually inspiring,at least not for me..

Now days later, I don’t remember it except one cool looking dark stormy shot (which I am trying to do a chalk pastel of~)

 

F

Don’t Breathe


2016     R    Stephen Lang, Jane Levy, Dylan Minnette,Daniel ZovattoImage result for Recycled Trash Art

 

Three thieves from Detroit  break into the houses of the rich to make a living.  They get word  of an old blind vet  living in an abandoned neighborhood who won a settlement  following the death of his only child. They break in  thinking it’s an easy target but find themselves trapped inside fighting for their lives and also find a shocking discovery inside their supposedly helpless victims basement.

Easy and simple… an hour has gone by and I am wondering why this was not a direct to video release.

Kill Your Friends


2016   Not Rated  Nicolas Holt  1:43

 

Netflix’s description

“Without a pop act to keep him afloat, A&R agent Steven Stelfox is slowly sinking beneath the waves of the recording industry. Refusing to drown , Seven adopts a radical and deadly approach to getting ahead in the music business.

So I waited for an hour before writing anything as really there was nothing to write about.. it’s not worth the time unless you are secluded in a cabin with snow half way up your door!

There Is a bit of that dark Brit humor here and there but mainly it’s a bore, even when Nicolas Holt breaks the fourth wall to talk to the watcher as he explains the music industry. (nothing I didn’t know already)

They sign what would make money but not based on actual talent!!!

 

F

X-men Apocalypse


The usual suspects Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Nicolas Holt, Even Peters,James McAvoy, Sophie Turner with McGuyver’s Lucas Till (was he in the past ones?)

I don’t have much to say about this, other than we find out how  Charles Xavier becomes bald.

The plotline stinks, why does it seem centered on Mistique to me? Wasn’t crazy about Angel though glad he now has the sharpened wings. And s a few days later I can’t remember much (nothing that matters) about it.

It’s set in the 80s and starts in Ancient Egypt during a transfiguration Ritual (why not just call Professor McGonagal?)

Some ‘Gods’ or shall I say priests with the masks of their gods as well as soldiers around are protecting the body.

One of these soldiers who is supposed to protect what is going on is in on a plan against the ritual, and upon attacking gets folded up into a ball.

Later Charles Xavier’s school is burning down and Quicksilver goes to save everyone, one being a french bulldog which love the face like it’s in a car and its jsut not letting go of that slice of pizza!

Amusing the movie makes fun of it self!! saying the 3rd one always sucks and honestly.. I’m VERY glad I didn’t waste my money on it seeing it in the theater! I waited for cable!  Definitely a poor (below poor?) outing.

and EssexCorp. What is the Essex corp? I never heard of that before or don’t remember .

Honestly I’m not crazy about this set of X-men films… I like the originals better, but then I do need to rewatch those for a Class Cuts installment

Nine Lives


2016   PG   Blu-ray  1:27  Comedy  Jennifer Gardner, Robbie Amell, Kevin Spacey     (IMDB)

Mr. Brand is a worlaholic CEO of the ‘Fire Brand’ on the night of his daughter’s birthday (party) he buys a cat for her and ends up falling off a roof with the cat and he ends up in the cat’s body somehow, while his body is in a coma.

What is with all the cats by three? It’s like 3 of the same cat or 3 cats together…

Oh my the blue of that cat’s eyes! And The part where it’s drunk had my family cracking up!

I can see why Entertainment Gave this a worse of 2016 movies; The pacing is too slow, not sure about the characters in general, there’s so many ways this could have been at least a good if not great movie. The only good parts is when the cat is on screen.

 

“Oh look Satan’s over for dinner’ (in reference to his ex-wife.)

Oh yeah and then at one point the mother mentions (I forget if it was Amell’s character or the daughter) had asked “Why is daddy a vampire”

There’s a part where the cat Mr. Fuzzy pants  (gosh if I were a cat and someone cave me that name I’d rip your face up’ I jsut hate those stupid cliche pet names.) looks like he’s i a donkey Kong game  When he’s walking up a wall or something.

 

Those security guards deserved that!!! (You know what I mean when you see it) and there’s Lil Bub!!!

I won’t kill the movie completely, but it deserves at least a D for some of the jokes. They could have made it better if it were an hour long special!

 

Want it? Order the DVD or Bku-ray via Amazon or on Amazon Video