The Mechanic: Resurrection


2016  R 1:39  Blu-ray  Jason Statham Jessica Alba

 

Arthur Bishop has sworn off his profession as a contract killer. An old nemisis abducts his new girlfriend and he must complete a string of 3 hits in order to save her.

Nothing to really write home about, its just your average Statham stereotypical typecasted movie. Everything worth seeing was in the trailers!  Although a couple of my favorites (I don’t remember from the trailer)  was the Face Plant into the grill and yes, complete with scorch marks! Then there was a the guy he used to shield himself from the grenade which he put on the front of the guy.

Very predictable

unless you are planning to watch a Statham marathon…don’t bother

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Logan


2017,  Rated R   Ru n Time   2: 17       Action,Drama,Sci-fi  Imdb

Hugh Jackman Hugh Jackman
Patrick Stewart Patrick Stewart
Dafne Keen Dafne Keen
Boyd Holbrook Boyd Holbrook
Stephen Merchant Stephen Merchant
Elizabeth Rodriguez Elizabeth Rodriguez

Logan is caring for Professor X somewhere over the Mexican boarder, playing chauffeur to make money when the Professor starts ‘speaking’ with her telepathically. They save her from foes that would use her for bad and what do ya know she’s a mini wolverine. 

I’m guessing this is based on the Old man Logan comic books. Wolverine’s healing abilities are for some reason waning, he’s not healing as fast as he used to. Essex is looking for a mutant named Laura and while Logan finds out she is a version of him, this kitty doesn’t just have claws on her front paws!

There’s some vampire like dude that helps Wolverine out for some reason this guy can’t go in the sun he does burn but I don’t recall a reason.

My favorite part was the using the car with the barbbed wire as a net. That was good and Oh My did I just hear him actually growl!!!??!?!

There’s not much to remember and I found it quite a disappointment.

American Assassin


2017        Rated R         1 hour 52 Minutes        Action Thriller

Dylan O’Brien    Michael Keaton     Taylor Kitsch     Sanaa Lathan

So I wanted to see this as 1. It looked worth it and 2. Taylor Kitsch is in it. 3. It seemed as Kitsch was playing the bad guy. i don’t think he has before plus  Dad said it looked good so we both went to see it together and after we would also see IT.

American Assassin is adapted from the Vince Flynn books , which I have not read. I didn’t even know it was an adaptation until after I saw the movie.  The movie is an action/thriller cliche. Grizzled vet to train the new guy, who has a traumatic experience, and has some villain that was once trained by the vet and so on.

The movie opens on that beach you see in the trailer, where Mitch and his girlfriend are at a resort that gets gunned down. How many times did he get shot before he even went down? damn he’s got 9 lives!  Why the hell did they shoot the place up anyway? We then skip 18 months ahead and seems to suffer some PTSD (at least having nightmares of the past) Oh and whoever did the FX make-up on Dylan O’Brien that Mustache is total crap I can see its fake. you didn’t layer it well and the judges from Face off would have your heads for that! I’ve never made one of my own, but from watching face-off… I KNOW I could do better than that looked!

So Mitch Rapp (nice last name considering if he didn’t have the ‘certain set of skills’ he taught himself he would have a pretty long sheet of them)  He’s set on infiltrating terrorist cells and taking them out one by one if he has to.  We also get to travel quite a bit. One thing that gave me a laugh though was when in Rome… speak Polish!?!?!? (I’m half italian and 1/4 polish so that was funny to me especially there were a few polish kids my age in my neighborhood. certainly could tell it was learned there was no accent to it.)

So they (cia or whoever it is)  send Mitch off to Roanoke Virginia where Keaton’ s character ‘Hurley’ trains him in his own personal ‘Fight Club’ And No You don’t want to punch him dude…

You have to like his character with the line

“If we go hand to hand something tells me within 20 seconds you’d know if I got what it takes” 

really the guy’s a cat and I’ve given him the code name Taz cause when he gets punched…your screwed! He doesn’t quit he’s like a robot only if you shock him, he keeps going. There’s also what i call the ‘Ikea’ scene where at first I didn’t know if they were shopping or were in a training exercise. But I picked out the mark right away!

“The Enemy Dresses like a deer and  kills like a lion”

Oh and Keaton makes a strong audition in this to be a voice actor if ever there’s a grumpy cat cartoon (if they use a male voice)  Wow didn’t see that coming.. Kitsch out the window of hotel nice stunt I was a bit amused by it… Think ‘Pole dance’

I guess it’s the 4k but there’s parts that seemed to be 3-d only it’s NOT a 3d movie! (esp a little blood splatter on the camera be not sure if it was practical or CGI  FX  but was cool.

SPOILER- Boat Fight.. I quite enjoyed  and a line towards the end that just as  thought it the agent says it to Keaton who’s all bandaged up.  ‘you look like a mummy’

I would say this is worth seeing at least on a discount day or during Matinee times. (as I saw it… plus at one point I had to go to the bathroom so I missed a part)

It was entertaining, serious but did have a few jokes and as I mentioned the Flagpole (all I could think of was that song Flagpole Sitta and jokes about kitsch doing a pole dance. )

I’ve tried multiple times to watch the New Jason Bourne movie starting at the beginning or middle and even last quarter of it but sadly I just can’t get through it. I doze off, or start getting other things done. I would most definitely  buy a copy of this for my library.

 

B    (better than last Bourne)      Anyway Its worth a watch in the theater or even a buy for your library.

 

Adaptive Misfires  Maybe it’s best to watch if you haven’t read them, considering no one that has read this book or that ever seems to be happy with the movie adaptation. (I’m still really pissed off Peeves was not in the Harry Potter series, not even once)

Here’s the moviebabble  revivew

 

 

 

xXx: Return of Xander Cage


2017  PG-13  blu-ray  1:47 Vin Diesel, Samuel L. Jackson, Nina Dobrev, Donnie Yen, Toni Collette

                                         Kris Wu  Ruby Rose  Deepika Padukone

I like the opening ‘space’ scene and the bit in the Chinese restaurant with Gibbons trying to recruit some guy (at the end of the movie shows he’s some soccer star) but showed a ‘stats’ card that said he thought he was being recruited by the Avengers.

Now there’s a cool stunt.. ‘flipping off bullets’ onto a bike might beat Winter Soldier’s grabbing the bike out from under the rider..  but I’m not really sure on that. I’ll go with a tie. Now wait… skiing …without snow… in a forest…I mean I know they ‘snowboard’ on sand dunes but with all the rocks etc that would be in a forest would that even work? I’m going to just chalk this one up to Hollywood imagery.

Now THIS was freaking cool he goes from BMX dirt bike to a …errr… SKI Bike!!! or do we call it a surf bike WTF should that be called! but whatever I’d LOVE to try it!

Oh Forget Xander can we get a spin-off of the Green haired sniper?  (for some reason she reminds me of that 90s Aeon Flux cartoon)

What should be the meaty part of the movie, with not only story with a minor and a major stunt and action work …ends up a disappointment.

Just as said… gridlocked traffic (lol) ok so maybe they saved some budget that would have been used for at least a fight in act 2, for Xander going fast and furious!  Ugh the corny ass chick pose shooting, really I thought we were past that  Charlies Angels crap!!! (where’s the feminists bitching about that?!!?!?!)

‘The Mouth Problem’  (not gonna ruin that) and we get a surprise I didn’t expect to show! WOW for once something in an action movie is actually kept on the DL  although I do say they do show too many stunts etc in the trailers, and with this one not having as much as I remember in the original (though I could be wrong.. I haven’t re-watched that in years)

I will say one way the original is better than this one… the sound track! The original one had a 2 -in-one a disk for the rockers and one for the hip hop/rap fans. 

I can’t even find an actual soundtrack.. just ‘Music from the motion picture’ which from reading the titles is actually the score (being it’s not music made by different artists and bands)

I thought it was going to be total crap like certain other reboots that have happened but it wasn’t too bad, I might even consider putting it in my library with the original

C

 

 

 

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Ready Player One Database


IN case I forgot to include the books   anoraksinvitation.online/

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Resident Evil: The Final Chapter


2017   R  1:46  Mila Jovovich, Shawn Roberts,Eion Mackin, Ali Larter

 

Alive returns  to Raccoon city to fight against some of Unmbrella’s  new mutant monstrosities to be unleashed on the last of the human population.

“The End…..the end to my story”- Alice

so what this isn’t the actual end of the franchise, just Mila Jovovich? Will you see it without her, or would it just depend on who the new ‘alice’  oops sorry/.. lead is?

Oh crap was that a dragon? or a Turok……(Avatar creatur rip off)?

So the Capital building Looks rotted like a zombie Oh and then they copy off of walking dead with the HEAD-quarium, a bit of Star Trek’s Khan fight on the moving vehicle gods is anything original in this and not a knock-off/Nod to something else?

Erebus?? wait wasn’t that the vampire Bible in blade? Oh maybe they said Cerebus.. the 3 headed dog or something like that from Greek mythology right? So I’m waiting for it… and a mass of doberman’s….dead’mans (or I think they are) come out I was waiting even after this for some 3 headed or more dog! but end up disappointed.

I can tell you one thing I’ve always liked about the series… the monster or 2 of the movie!  They have had some freakish things that i commend the demented mind of whoever the creator(s) were for those monsters. The one in this is kinda creepy and scary at a certain angle otherwise it was laughable to me.

The ‘big scary’ as far as this point goes kinda reminds me of ‘Pumpkinhead’ (now that is a remake I’d like to see just don’t screw with the look of Pumpkinhead)  i just can’t tell ya who’s ‘prettier’

Well look at that Maiden Mother and Crone or as what’s his name (he’s in game of thrones as well)  The trinity of Bitches (yes I do allow that, its in the dictionary) as he put it

I think a question mark should be after the ‘Final Chapter’  but recently saw in entertainment weekly they have I think 6 more movies approved

Glad I didn’t see this in the theater would have been a waste of money.  Basically 2016-2017 reboots have failed it seems.  I will say I think Underworld bloodwars was more interesting to watch than this.

D-

IMDB Page   If you want to rent it… Here’s the amazon link

Underworld: Blood Wars


2017   R 1:31  Kate Beckinsale Theo James Bradley James Charles Dance

 

So the what is this 5th movie in the franchise? Did I miss one? Oh no it was that 3rd movie that was a ‘base tart ized’  prequel.  (sorry I do try to keep things at PG or PG-13 but its fun to be creative in how to ‘curse’ and  yet adhere to my rules and anything I need to follow of wordpress guidelines.

So Slene is now an outcast and hunted by both factions (the lycans by her own vampires including her own clan), Selene and new friend David (Theo James) take on Marius (wasn’t he in one of the previous movies??) the new lycan leader and a scheming traitorus female vampire leader.

Selene has no idea where her daughter is for the child’s protection (and maybe even her own)

Now I’ve heard of white parties, I guess this is the vampire version though I think it needs a touch of red.. maybe the host should wear that. I mean those dank dark halls of the vampire palaces… oh I get the black.. its a ‘bat’ party like the white elephant in the room!  (Just my goofy interpretation….)

There’s some fight they end up in water (I think it was a fountain or a pond inside) that was cool coming up out of it then there’s a the fight on ice! (if only I could remember the when I went to the) ice Capades … this might have actually been better than that!

Love James Theo’s vampire eye color…definitely an improvement but then I do say “Fangs make the man”

The movie was ok but it doesn’t feel like there’s anything important on the line.No heart in the fight even after the revel from Marius (has to do with Scott Speedman’s character)

 

a C or D for some cool parts yet disappointing….

 

(also… Crayola needs to make a ‘vampire Blue eyes’  color!

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