Pan

2015   PG    Hugh Jackman, Gerrett hedlund, Levi Miller & Rooney Mara

 

So far I am Uniquely annoyed with the soundtrack. The musical numbers are awful or maybe its just the songs (in any fashion, original or re-written) I did not find to work well with the parts of the movie they were in other than Nirvana’s Teen Spirit. That one although maybe in the right part, the tempo could have been sped up a bit, this variation at a half chant that at first i sort of recognized the rhythm but at the same time because of the slower tempo than the original I couldn’t place it. One part is a chant and then another part of it is used as a speech!

Speaking of the speech, Hugh Jackman as Black Beard… Not sure if it’s him or the costume (esp. the long cloak or whatever you want to call it, he looks like he’s wearing a (I think the right era is) Victorian dress the way it’s bunched in the back…. I don’t get embarassed but I am for him in that! Who the hell were the costumers? Oh and that wig… why not throw some white pancake in his face and call him a geisha while you are at it?

Gerrit Hedlund, my dear I loved you as Murtah in Eregon, and have tried to keep up with your other projects but this one, I wish I had skipped, I’ve lost some respect for you! I meay not be an actor, but dear  over projecting came to mind. He’s so not working for me as Hook I too bad they couldn’t have used Colin that plays hook in Once upon a time…

Oh so that’s what they are mining for… pixie ‘dust’ which (as an adult)  look like what is normally shown in crime dramas as crack or heroin. Oh but at least there is a glow to it, so that is what makes it pixie dust.. (I scoff)

Memory tree is kinda cool and why is that ‘carpet’ atop her head, with those little ‘pom pom’ balls? (or is that supposed to be hair?)  Well the natives are quite the brightly colorful bunch, which was cheerful, that I liked as well but when black beard shows up I think some of them get killed off, in a bright puff of colored powder if I saw right~! Well at least that was a creative way to ‘show blood’

UGH Cara Delvine (or however it’s spelled) or as I call her ‘Eyebrows’ is the mermaid and if she’s going to have blond hair as a mermaid, can’t you people CGI her eyebrows to being the same color?? that looks so awful!

Best part- when Pan saves hook in he ‘crystal’ (pixie dust) cave’ I just about cheered and felt like a kid again!

Some of the CG FX are bad and can tell more than once when a stunt double has taken over, WTF Disney you billion dollar nazis.. you can’t fork over 5 thousand for better FX on your Garbage stories?

Oh and what’s with the neon Jolly Roger sign? tacky…

Order any format you need here, via amazon

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