Star Wars VII : The Force Awakens

2015       PG-13            2 hours & 16 minutes

Directed by: J.J. Abrams

Starring:   Daisy Ridley,John Boyega,  osscar Issac  Harrisson Ford Carrie Fisher  Gwendoline Christie  Peter Mayhew, Adam Driver

 

WARNING there is ONE major SPOILER noted here as frankly I just watched the movie, and someone ruined it for me, but I’m sure I’m the last one on earth to see the movie…

As far as the nobody actors go, I’m still waiting for one of them to actually impress me. Initially I avoided this in the theater, as to me it just didn’t look interesting as the previous trilogy (the prequels) or the originals. Yes, I know it’s the sort of movie even if you think it will suck, should be seen in the theater. The only expectation I had of this movie was that I would be disappointed in paying either the $7.50 or $8 Discount day price, or $11 matinee and I’m glad I paid neither.

The time frame takes place 30 years after the events of Return f the Jedi

Wait what are those red robots? and WTF?! What is Voldermort doing in this? Did J.K. Rowling see this and if so she’d have a strong lawsuit on her hands.

I wanted to watch the previous 6 films (prequels first) before seeing the movie but I didn’t get around to it, though I do plan an overall franchise review of sorts in the future (maybe next year, but I’m still working on the series that it would be a part of and possible feature of the blog, I was thinking once a month)

Yeah Chewy, and every time I hear that noise I think of my Aunt’s cat Kitty, now. I’ve nick named her Chewy cause she sort of makes that noise when she meows. I think even I can sort of do it.

Lea & Solo’s son? When did that happen? Oh and looky her it’s Greg Grunberg, I didn’t remember hearing about him being in the movie, but I guess he didn’t have enough of a plot point or something for people to ruin that like someone ruined what shoud have been a shocking jaw dropping moment. And being as I’m possibly the last person on the planet (universe?) to see it…

For me the lightsabre choreography could have gone faster, I mean compared to movies past this was in slow motion, I do like the new one with the 3 lasers on it. Which looks more like a sword and hilt.  When They first showed R2 I was thrilled, then very disappointed that he wasn’t working (maybe that’s what took the wind out of my sails for the movie) as aside from the droids & chewey seeing the original actors, did not faze me in the slightest, but then I knew they were all going to be in it to some extent. SO no surprise there for me.

spoiler alertWHY THE HELL do you people have to drop bombs like SOLO being killed off? Shi!+ like that keep your mouth shut, its IS a spoiler even if it has nothing to really do with the plot.Ask a person if they saw the damn movie, I mean with all the variations of how to watch tv and movies now and days some may be putting things off (like I do some movies and shows till the summer or when they have time)

OK SAFE NOW…. So why does Ben look like Vader? Wait maybe Why does he dress like Vader I guess should be more the question, and is that who that ‘Voldemort’ looking thing is?

Ok one favorite part, Love Han Solo’s face when he thinks of putting someone in the trash compactor.

And there goes someone else that was in Lost… Ken Leung should I expect more of them to show up?

Oh The force is strong with this one… but did she even know she could, and if so who was her parents?

Though a disappointment to me, it at least went faster than I thought. I am not feeling the awe and wonderment of all the previous movies, this one to me feels like there’s no heart to it. And I wasn’t happy about R2 being out of order.

Wait why did the ‘earth’ split between Rey & Vader wannabe?

So my verdict and I’m sure everyone will hate me for it but….

I’m glad I didn’t see it in the theater even though as I said I wanted to see it in the theater because it’s that sort of movie, but the story was not interesting to me and story wise I’m glad I didn’t get to see it at least on discount tuesday in the theater! I’ll save that money for a snack while watching Warcraft! Same for when Suicide Squad comes out. Another thing, it didn’t feel like the previous trilogies did. Maybe it was the tone not sure but it just didn’t feel like Star Wars to me.

The only thing I loved was BB-8 aside from the Trash Compactor joke, it’s the ONLY thing about this movie I get the warm fuzzies for and I didn’t even eat a hamster. (Sorry there;s a saying on our Grumpy cat calendar to that affect.)

Even the very end didn’t get me excited, and no I didn’t feel the force awaken, i’d swear I heard it say it wants to retire

While I can watch the originals, and the hated prequel trilogy even, I don’t see myself likely watching this movie again. Heck I even have one of the original movies on VHS cassette still! YES as in VCR tape!  Of course the movies FX are great, as far as I remember even the old movies’ FX were great for the time. The only thing is maybe now, knowing that probably 95% of it was greenscreen (thankfully there’s non of that ‘halo’ look) might also be another reason it doesn’t feel like the others (even though I’m sure a good chunk of the prequel trilogy was green screen as well) it just doesn’t have the essence, Aura, tone or whatever I can’t place that the originals or prequel did.

I think all the excitement for the new trilogy got the fandom all High and so were not looking at the movie truthfully. I’d rather look at a movie and say oh that’s going to suck, then actually see it and regret seeing it in the theater, then to pay and be sorry in disappointment. I wouldn’t say I’m a Star Wars fan like most, I guess you could say more casual, but then I was too young to see the originals in the theater.  I think I did get to see the prequel ones in the theater tho. I was never into Star Trek at least not until the 2009 movie (and still can’t watch the show or movies prior to that).

The problem I think is aside from the characters etc… I don’t think George Lucas had anything to do with this, and may-be, that’s what I feel ‘missing’ and why it doesn’t feel the same. Looking up to see if he did anything to do with this movie, … just says

“based on characters by”  (same as with most of the Elm st. Series and Wes Craven which the only movie that was the best that Wes didn’t have anything to do with was part 3)  So I’m going to chalk it up to that as all the other movies, were written or screenplay/story by  George Lucas so I’m going to go with that as the reason I couldn’t drink what the force was dishing. Maybe if Yoda had been in it, then might have felt more magical but unless Lucas has something to do with the next one, I doubt I’ll watch. (at least not til its on cable)

 

J.J. Abrams…. You have Failed this (casual) fan

Want a 2nd opinion?

 

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